"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
now don’t you understand…that I’m never changing who I am?
So much had happened since that night in the woods. Reagan found now, that by night, she preferred the look of the arctic wolf to traverse the Taiga, as the world grew darker and was pulled further into the colder months and her fur grew thicker to combat against it. And so, it was by night, that Reagan and Ruan took over the Taiga and made it their own kingdom by night. Chasing the vermin that lived there until the blood dripped from their maws and their bellies were full.
Reagan yipped and playfully nipped Ruan’s back hip as she sauntered past, flipping her fluffy white tail in his face. She grinned in the way only a she-wolf could, before turning around, taking a playful stance. Never before had she felt so young—so carefree. To live in happiness and feel this way… it was, in a word, uncanny.
The twilight came and the fog that settled in with the cold of the changing months blew through the trees, casting light and eerie shadows through the woods. Yet Reagan was not afraid. She was at peace. She looked around, and then up, her wet nose flaring its black nostrils to take in the smell of those around her. The smell of the rut was near. The heat was intoxicating, and she looked at Ruan, her eyes widening—the need overtaking her. She suddenly laid down, and took on a serious look about her as she stared him down. “I love you, you know. I don’t know if I’ve ever said that before. But…I do. You know what I am, and you do not run.”
He licked their last kill from his lips, the blood still warm and dark along his snout. Each night they did this. As the rest of Taiga rested in peace, they were keeping it. The wolf came so naturally to him, so comfortably. Reagan seemed to be enjoying it a good deal as well. He chuckled quietly to himself and met her playful gaze as she nipped at him and brushed her tail at his face.
She was stunning as a she-wolf, carrying herself with such deadly grace. The sight and smell of her was intoxicating. And that sharp smile lining her lips was distracting, too. His tail wagged lazily, curious what they'd hunt next and thoroughly enjoying their nights out together. Jinju rested safely, he knew, protected and never truly alone. This was their time.
Reagan looked to him again, her eyes just a hint wider, just a little dialated. Yes, he smelled it too. Could feel the thrumming in his blood, the heat of the season. He smiled his own wolfish grin then as she lay herself down, a dangerous one. A predatory one. He roamed casually closer as she spoke, giving voice to her love for him. "...You know what I am, and you do not run."
He paused. "Perhaps you enchant me, and keep me from running," he teased. But it wasn't her magic he truly spoke of. She had a way about her that was irresistible to him. Even while away, he would find himself thinking of her. Somehow, he simply belonged with her. She was serious now though, so he sobered his playful tone.
"I know you do. I know who you are, and who you once were." Power was everywhere in her history. Sometimes it was craved by her and she'd single-mindedly chase after what she wanted. Sometimes it was created by her, bred from her blood.
He continued forward, stepping up to her and burying his nose below her ear. Her scent engulfed him; a faint bit of horse, a good deal of wolf. But mostly that strain that was purely her. It both calmed him and excited him. It sent his heart pacing steadily. He pulled back to look her in the eyes. She had to know he meant every word.
"I love you, Reagan. I'd follow you to the ends of the earth. To Heaven itself, if it came to it." He'd do anything for her. Go anywhere. They were family, and she knew how much family meant to him. How strong that bond was, and only deepened by their relationship. And even further by the magical exchange that tied them together. It felt so long ago now. What did tomorrow hold for them?
now don’t you understand…that I’m never changing who I am?
I love you, Reagan. I'd follow you to the ends of the earth. To Heaven itself, if it came to it.
Never before had anyone been so honest and open with her before. She felt her heart warming, and she smiled at him with a lover’s gaze. In all her years, Reagan the All-Mother had never before allowed herself to be as one of them… she had always towered above them and looked down, but to be loved for no reason other than she was herself—it was new for her, and she reveled in it.
In all the years that last in an era, there are none so brilliant as those where love is its truest. Such is a lifetime where one finds true love even but once, because immortality is lonely without someone to share it with. The days blend together and power wains. Reagan was finding that a moment without Ruan on her mind was rare, and the thought of never having met him, even by happenchance, or never having him with her, was abhorrent to her.
There was a beat, and Regan got up, walked to Ruan, and looked him deep in the eyes, before rubbing her head and neck against him, placing her head on his back, flipping her tail upwards to let Ruan know that She was in heat. The smell of the wolf was fragrant in between the trees, and she smiled up at him, her green eyes shadowed by the dark as she looked down and past his body, wanting more of him… to be absorbed by him.
Visions of clover were dancing in her head as she moved down past him, her tail still up and curled around her sacrum, inviting him with a silent come hither. “Well then, my love. Follow me, and lets see if we can’t make this all worth while”
He felt it when she looked so deeply into his eyes. A spark of electricity ignited through his blood. His heartbeat quickened and his fur stood on end from the jolt flashing through him.
She brushed her head into him and with his senses heightened he could feel every last hair of it. With a long exhale, he relished the feel of her, his love, his mate. He'd never given himself so freely to someone, so completely. She had it all, anything she wanted. And she wanted him. There was nothing he could give her that she couldn't take for herself. All-powerful. Eternal.
And it was him that she wanted. Their family.
The scent of her heat intensified as she flipped her tail for him, waving her white flag of surrender. He grinned hungrily, his eyes almost glowing and incisors glinting in the moonlight. His goddess, his seductress. He pinched her hip with a bite -Mine, then gave her a firm nudge, trying to knock her off her feet. Testing her balance.
A low growl was his primal command for her to stay put. Hold strong. Bear his weight.
Then he held her, claimed her.
Loved her.
Sated and lazy, he lie on his side with his eyes closed. A stupid grin was stuck to his face, deliriously happy. She was perfect. Amazing. And all his. Nothing could dampen his mood today. He hummed low as he heard her begin to stir.
now don’t you understand…that I’m never changing who I am?
Reagan stretched luxuriously some days later, her white paws grasping at the moon as she made a sound that was very much unhorse-like. Her tail wagged and she panted contentedly. Her eyes were still closed but when she raised her head and righted her position, she saw that Ruan was nowhere to be seen. She remembered his playful demeanor when he asked her if she’d wanted to go again. Truth was..she had.
So much like wolves in heat, they had denned for weeks, separating themselves from the rest of them, as they were becoming their own independent group from the members she had grown to respect… and yet had not seen them here dancing with her and her family beneath the trees. The tiger had not been seen in the forest for an age. Indeed, it was the wolf who held dominion over these lands and made them their own.
Blood stained Reagan’s maw like poorly drawn lipstick, and yet she could care less what she looked like. She knew now that she was carrying her child… their child, and though that was the goal, the vacation away from life—their honeymoon of sorts—was coming to an end, and the reality of life and what would come next was settling in. She called for Ruan, and when the wolf did not come, she left the den of their thicket, and went prowling for him throughout the night, using the power of the vibrations in the earth to feel her way through the darkness. She had to tell him of their impending child.
A boy she thought to herself. Ruan has always wanted a boy.
She'd looked so peaceful as she rested, so content. So he'd stretched, scanned the area carefully, and bounded off in search of some prey. Still bound to his wolf form by her magic, he took his time marveling in all the sights, sounds, smells around him. Oh, how he loved that she did this for them. It was like returning home, for him. As if a horse was not at all what he was supposed to have been, but this creature of the pack.
And a pack, he certainly had. His Reagan, his Jinju, and now his little Heda. They were an ever-growing unit, and it felt as natural to him as hunting. Despite living alone for so long, he found a life surrounded by family was exactly what he wanted.
He was just finishing off a hare when he heard smelled her. And as he waited, he was soon able to hear her as well. He sat with a grin, watching her progress. She'd taken her own breakfast, the blood still painting the evidence around her muzzle. The end of his tail tapped the ground of its own accord when she was in full view.
"Good morning," he said easily. Something seemed to be on her mind today, but he'd let it come in her own time if she wished it. "Enjoy your hunt?"
now don’t you understand…that I’m never changing who I am?
Stuck. She was stuck like this.
The fairies had taken away her magic and she was STUCK LIKE THIS.
She was a white winter wolf with a thick tail and black eyes, and the only one who could understand her, was Ruan. She was pacing now, feeling her son kicking angrily in her stomach, looking for food, looking for something. She was not sure what. But she was fuming. And she was starving, But she was too hungry to eat.
Her claws flexed into the soft dirt as she padded her way across their den. Their safe space. No one else had seen her thusly, no one else would be able to. Reagan has lost her nerve, she could hear them say. Reagan lost her magic. Again. What a laugh. Those fairies. Reagan wondered if she could develop a taste for magical creatures.
Because she was livid.
So she huffed and she puffed—like all good big, bad, wolves do—and she waited for Ruan to show herself… because by now, the sun had come up, and as always, their bodies always changed with the sunlight. So Ruan—who was now in equid form—had come looking for his very pregnant mate, who was still steaming that she had woken up in wolf form. She yipped and barked at him angrily, and for all the world it would look like a dog having a temper tantrum, but for Ruan, who could understand her—it was just a pregnant Reagan having a temper tantrum.
“HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO ME?! I DON’T WANT TO EAT MEAT BY DAY LIKE SOME HEATHEN! I WANT GRAINS! THEY CAN’T DO THIS TO ME, RUAN!”
She was wearing patterns into the earth, pacing and pacing. He could practically feel her anger warming the air as he drew closer. When she was within view, he paused. His brows knit together as he studied her silently. It was after dawn, but she remained as a wolf while the magic had already left him a horse again. Always, at sunrise, they returned to themselves.
Fuming and frustrated, she yipped and growled, and growled and yipped. The fact that she was still in fur and paws was enough to tell him something was amiss. The shifting was something she did out of love for him, and he didn't think she'd choose to do it for any other reason.
She knew he was there and turned an angry glare on him, her eyes alight with fury. His frown deepened, and he leaned a shoulder against a nearby tree. She was pissed; this could be a while. She was not so easily brought to this state, noble and regal as she was. Powerful and capable of solving any issue fairly simply. Then when she snarled in her wolf tongue, he understood her clearly.
God spare the poor fool to do this, as they may not be earthbound for much longer.
He thought back to any changes within the land that might react negatively with her magic, causing her to be trapped within her wolf. Nothing came to mind. It hadn't been that long ago that she and Jinju had gone to the mountain, however, and he'd heard how that went. Not well. Apparently their timing with these things were not at all considerate. He supposed it wasn't enough to just take what she'd worked so hard to reclaim.
They were forcing unnecessary control over the lands, binding the souls to play to their every fanciful whim without purpose, and their greed was everywhere. Their lust for more power. Like a child with a magnifying glass they burned and singed the poor souls under their care for merely their own entertainment.
They will do as they please, he snorted in disgust, pushing up from his tree and walking over to her. He pressed his nose into her scruff and nipped at her. There was no way he was about to mention how incredibly attractive she still was even as a wolf. There is nothing more fun than lowering their greatest threat. Or so they must perceive you to be. I'm sure you can imagine the fun in that? he chuckled dryly.
She was not their enemy, but their faithful magician.
And this was how they rewarded her and their innocent daughter.
In her anger, her soul busted. Her fur matted with sweat and her body contracted. In her pacing, she had wrenched her body into labor.
And Iasan was coming.
She yipped and then cried out in pain as she slunk further into the den, slamming her tail down on her vulva, the wetness and moisture seeping from her and leaking onto the ground in thick red blotchy droplets. Reagan groaned as she pawed the ground, knowing that a wolf was giving birth to a colt. There was something highly unnatural about this, and she feared for the boy’s safety, should the going be bad.
“What…could I… present as a threat to them?...” she breathed up at him frantically as her abdomen contracted, presenting a pair of perfectly pink hooves at the entrance to her nether region. She groaned and closed her eyes, yowling at the pain as her sweet boy fought for his life, scrambling out of her, tearing her up. Reagan held on, her eyes welling up with the pain of it, and she looked at Ruan, a thick sheen of sweat building up in her fur. “I’m so scared, Ru… I don’t think I can continue to do this”
She suddenly yelped in pain, and he jerked back fearing he may have hurt her in some way. Instantly, he grew concerned, watching her bury deeper within their den and pawing at the ground. Pain was in her face, racking her body in contractions. Were he a wolf, he would have been whistling a whine in concern. As it was, he could only watch in helplessness, body tensed and brow pinched tight.
His worry magnified when he saw teeny hooves. Why had he thought she'd birth a pup? He snorted anxiously and shifted on dancing feet, wings flapping of their own will in his growing fear for her. Wide blue eyes scanned the trees, as though looking for assistance. But she was the magician. Her own magic was all she'd ever needed. Robbed of that, how could she survive this?
He settled carefully, trying to smooth his nerves. He had to be calm, had to be her steady mate. His eyes closed, and he breathed deeply. Think. Think. He could do this. There had to be a way to help her. But he was useless, even if he'd had his magic he was useless. What could ice even do.
Sahm. I'll get Sahm, where is he? Or Eight, I can fetch Eight for you. She would probably prefer her dear friend though. He wasn't too sure his standing with Eight currently anyway, but he'd do whatever it took to help her. He couldn't lose her. With wings spreading, eager to find her a savior and hating that it couldn't be him, he backed a few steps away. Tell me where, Reagan. He'd be back in time, his borrowed wings had indeed proven useful in that regard.
