08-01-2016, 10:16 AM
this is the story of how, when the wolves knocked,
i met them at the door and i became the beast instead.
i met them at the door and i became the beast instead.
I knew something was wrong.
She spoke softly, too softly for my mother—it startled me to see a woman who had been so loud, so brash and open for as long as I’d known her reduced to something so broken and quiet. She didn’t seem to want to look me in the eye, then I noticed the tears bristling around the edges of her own eyes that she was quick to blink back. I automatically assumed the worst. At least, I thought I did. I thought maybe she had found him dead somewhere—not... not off fucking someone else, not off making another family and acting as if nothing was wrong. As if he had forgotten about us. Mother was kind, too kind; she never said one bad thing about him, but I didn’t hear her reprimand me when I growled out: “That. Fucking. Bastard.”
I couldn’t stay, I knew I couldn’t. I marched past my mother without word—and I regret that, because I didn’t think about her when I should have and I couldn’t take it back hours later when I was heading in the direction of the only family I knew I had left. Anni was never fucking around when I needed her; wherever she was, though, I half-hoped she stayed there and didn’t come back. I didn’t want her dealing with this, too.
I didn’t want her to know that he didn’t want us.
He… he didn’t want us.
I’m pretty sure the moment that sank in was the exact moment that I also wanted to fucking kill him. And that wasn’t something I thought about lightly, either; I wasn’t the sort of girl that made empty threats and I changed course several times, constantly torn between heading to Echo Trails or The Chamber. In the end, I decided it was best to go to Echo Trails first and that was when the tears started coming down hard. Thick, hot angry tears that made me bite my tongue and then my cheek to try to stop them from falling before I finally gave up.
I needed to see my Grandmother Willow.
We are not a weak bunch, but I felt weak when I suddenly needed her and she was so far out of my reach; I needed someone that wasn’t mom or Anni, I needed someone that could make sense of all the hurt and anger that was burning me down from the inside-out. I think, deep down, I just wanted someone to calm me down—to talk me out of it—did I really want to kill him, was it really worth it—but then I realized that no matter what anyone said they would never really talk me out of it.
I wanted so badly to kill him that I could practically taste it.
“Fucking bastard,” I half-whispered, half-sobbed, slipping across the border without so much as a call to announce my presence. I wasn’t some prissy fuck, after all, here to be at the beck and call of some overbearing stallion; I was here to see my Grandmother Willow, I wanted to be wrapped up in her embrace so tight that I felt like she’d never let me go. I wanted to see my Uncle Drow and soak in all of his mad, hostile wisdom. I wanted to visit my Auntie Ryss, who Anni and I had always loved fiercely. I missed her. I missed all of them and I knew they wouldn’t turn me away.
Not with the way I looked right now, anyways.
She spoke softly, too softly for my mother—it startled me to see a woman who had been so loud, so brash and open for as long as I’d known her reduced to something so broken and quiet. She didn’t seem to want to look me in the eye, then I noticed the tears bristling around the edges of her own eyes that she was quick to blink back. I automatically assumed the worst. At least, I thought I did. I thought maybe she had found him dead somewhere—not... not off fucking someone else, not off making another family and acting as if nothing was wrong. As if he had forgotten about us. Mother was kind, too kind; she never said one bad thing about him, but I didn’t hear her reprimand me when I growled out: “That. Fucking. Bastard.”
I couldn’t stay, I knew I couldn’t. I marched past my mother without word—and I regret that, because I didn’t think about her when I should have and I couldn’t take it back hours later when I was heading in the direction of the only family I knew I had left. Anni was never fucking around when I needed her; wherever she was, though, I half-hoped she stayed there and didn’t come back. I didn’t want her dealing with this, too.
I didn’t want her to know that he didn’t want us.
He… he didn’t want us.
I’m pretty sure the moment that sank in was the exact moment that I also wanted to fucking kill him. And that wasn’t something I thought about lightly, either; I wasn’t the sort of girl that made empty threats and I changed course several times, constantly torn between heading to Echo Trails or The Chamber. In the end, I decided it was best to go to Echo Trails first and that was when the tears started coming down hard. Thick, hot angry tears that made me bite my tongue and then my cheek to try to stop them from falling before I finally gave up.
I needed to see my Grandmother Willow.
We are not a weak bunch, but I felt weak when I suddenly needed her and she was so far out of my reach; I needed someone that wasn’t mom or Anni, I needed someone that could make sense of all the hurt and anger that was burning me down from the inside-out. I think, deep down, I just wanted someone to calm me down—to talk me out of it—did I really want to kill him, was it really worth it—but then I realized that no matter what anyone said they would never really talk me out of it.
I wanted so badly to kill him that I could practically taste it.
“Fucking bastard,” I half-whispered, half-sobbed, slipping across the border without so much as a call to announce my presence. I wasn’t some prissy fuck, after all, here to be at the beck and call of some overbearing stallion; I was here to see my Grandmother Willow, I wanted to be wrapped up in her embrace so tight that I felt like she’d never let me go. I wanted to see my Uncle Drow and soak in all of his mad, hostile wisdom. I wanted to visit my Auntie Ryss, who Anni and I had always loved fiercely. I missed her. I missed all of them and I knew they wouldn’t turn me away.
Not with the way I looked right now, anyways.
MAUL
gendry x arrya