Lost in the deep end // star pony

[Tyr]

It would be dark soon. He could feel the air beginning to cool on his skin, the sun's heat now soft on his face. He had bedded down for the day in a tree shaded hollow. The scents of warm pine sap and sweet clover filled his nose as he slept, encouraging hungry dreams as the day passed around him. 

Waking with the bats and nighthawks, the midnight stallion felt his stomach clench with need, despite his companion not having arrived yet. Soon enough the fragment of starlight would arrive, and navigating the world would be a less daunting task. For now though, hunger won over his cautious nature, and the night and starlight stallion ventured from his hiding place into the open pasture that lay beyond him. 

His every step was carefully measured, and still he found himself stumbling on the uneven ground. Cursing quietly, he stopped as soon as he felt thick grasses beneath his feet, not trusting himself to make it much further safely. As he dipped his head, the ink dark ears that emerged from his tangled mane rotated endlessly. It was dangerous to be caught unawares. So he listened while he ate, and tried to look as little like a target as possible. 


@[star]

[lilliana]

She's tired.

She wears her fatigue like a crown of uncertainty and it causes a line in her brow. The day is ending in all those deep, golden rays that gilt the gold of the field and illuminate the places (the grass, the changing leaves) where fall intends to creep. She can feel the bite of it on the back of her neck, in the places where the breeze renders it bare. These are the dying days of summer and Lilliana can already feel herself mourning its warmth.

Her exhaustion has settled in between her slender shoulders, in the practiced way she carries herself - like somewhere between mind and leg, she might stumble. She has been in this field with the first rays of dawn and she slips through the edges of the trees in the fading light. It will be dark by the time she reaches Taiga and longer past the starlings' cry. Lilli is proving to be her mother's daughter, throwing herself whole-heartedly into (her third? fourth? fifth day?) recruiting to avoid the weight of the thoughts that bear down on her mind. 

There had been a mare today and her weanling daughter that Lilliana had smiled at, encouraging them to come visit Taiga in their travels. There had been another young stallion that she had bantered with, telling him about the potential for ranks in the Defenders and Diplomats if that was something he wished. Lilliana laughs and smiles and beams until she has used the last of her enigmatic resources. She practices holding that smile, warming those blue eyes in a way that can still promise everything and give nothing away. 

It's not something that comes easily - it goes against her nature. 
It exhausts her as much as the length of the day does.

The shadows are casting now and Lilliana wishes she had left earlier. She should have left earlier, she reprimands. But the damage is done and the day is almost gone. The last of the light goes in a flourish of indigo and velvet, leaving only the stars to keep Lilli company. Not that she minds. They have been her secretkeepers before and they keep her company now, twinkling down in silver silence. 

She hears him before she sees him. Normally she would be weary of the dark, of the empty spaces that wrap around her but tonight she only longs for her part of the woods and the familiar ferns that she beds beneath. The thought that she should be afraid is slipped to the back of her mind while her desire to return to Taiga remains at the front. He is another shadowed shape in the dark and Lilli slows, stopping a few yards away. He melts in with the blues of the night and she finds herself searching for him, trying to make him out against the whispers of darkness.

"Have the stars told you any secrets tonight?" Even as tired as she is, the warmth still illuminates her voice. Even as tired as she is, some things fail to change. 

@[Tyr]

[Tyr]

He hears her, but not soon enough. In an attempt to be unseen, the midnight stallion freezes in place, hoping that it's dark enough for the night to conceal him from searching eyes. It's worked in the past, but tonight the tactic proves unsuccessful. Through the dark, and past the light rustle of his own breathing, a sweet feminine voice cuts through the stillness. 

A sharp swallow pushes down his throat, knowing he's got nowhere to hide. Especially now that it's clear he's already been seen. Speaking of stars, where is Antares? The familiar warm presence has not yet arrived, and Tyr knows that the stars should be awakening by now. 

He's stalling inside his own head, and it's been a long moment since she spoke. Surely he must seem like an idiot by now. Another hard swallow, and he lifts his head slightly, voice a low rasp of a thing as he responds. "Not yet," and it's true enough. His friend hasn't arrived to say much of anything yet. But the night was young, barely born. He has nothing but time in the world. 

His motions are hesitant as he turns to face the voice, hair hanging thick in his face as he tries to locate her. It had been a her, hadn't it? He was fairly certain. She'd been soft spoken and gentle, even if the question made for an odd greeting. 

"Have they whispered anything to you?"  He found himself asking, bemused at the idea. Was she another who found company with the celestial beings? That would be a first, or second, if he counted himself. His face records every thought, an open book beneath the curtain of white he shields it with. He found himself deeply curious about the girl who asked about the stars, to a stallion she stumbled upon only moments ago. What kind of mind she must have, to think that way. 

@[lilliana]

[lilliana]

It would seem her fatigue is making her careless. Her legs feel heavy and each step forward takes more than energy than she thinks she has. It would seem that Lilliana has finally found a brink. It washes over her wave after wave, a rising tide of weariness.

This is what happens, she thinks. This is what your mother did and once she started, she couldn't stop.

Her thoughts are troubled and Lilli is lost there. Between her mind and her lack of sleep, when the shadows shift and Tyr tries to hide, Lilli feels the words slip from her lips - an idealist looking for a momentary escape. It is when he pauses that she chastises herself and despite the shadows of night, a grimace shades her crimson face. Not everybody wants company, especially at this hour. The silence looms and Lilli is ready to apologize, it waits on the tip of her tongue.

And then he surprises her.
Not yet, he says.

Carefully the stallion turns and Lilli can make the white of his mane, his stockings in the early glow of evening and smiles. That velvet blue that he melted into the night with garners admiration from the chestnut mare, a part of the night sky that seems to have become earthbound. She looks up and studies the few stars she can see, the ones that silently blink through the branches that try to obscure them from view. It is her turn to pause, to be alone with her mind and his question. "No," she says slowly, still thinking, and returns her gaze to Tyr.

"I think I've forgotten how to listen," she admits out loud. Why she says this to a strange stallion who puts her in mind of the deepest parts of the night, she doesn't know. 

"Have you heard them before?" He reminds her of Orani, she realizes. Perhaps that explains the ease she feels. She had said there were others out there - that the celestial keepers above knew as many souls as they were stars in the sky. Lilli considers him again as he hides beneath his pale forelock. Was he one of them? Did he know their dreams?

Unable to help herself, Lilli finds herself hoping.

@[Tyr]

[Tyr]

He feels a steadying confidence seep into his bones, easing the nerves that stuttered every time he was approached. She seemed to mean him no harm that he could tell. Instead they spoke of stars, and that was a subject he felt on firm ground with. 

He knows nothing about what stars look like. Has not spent his evenings with eyes cast upward, pondering the meaning of the pin pricks of light adorning the firmament. His knowledge is a simpler one, even in its depth. The stars are warm and welcoming, they live high above them all, and one of them is a friend to him. 

This girl speaks in tones of sorrow when she replies, and he wonders how it is possible to forget something so easy. Some nights the stars talk non-stop, and it's everything he can do to keep up. His lips unfold in a whimsical smile, tipping his face upward to revel in the starlight he could only imagine. The satin of his forelock fell away from his face to reveal clouded eyes of milky blue. "It's not so difficult." He confided, starlight filling the pale depths of his sightless gaze. 

It was getting late. Later than he'd remembered Antares waiting to appear. The back of his mind was half convinced that he'd simply be on his own tonight. Well. Not so alone. There was the soft voice in the darkness. But it wasn't as he feared. 

Sudden cool sensation filled his body, and if he had the eyes to see, he would know the silver light that pooled around him and her, and touched every leaf and blade of grass with its own inner glow. It was gentle, comforting light that Tyr had come to recognize as the heralding sign his friend was near.

Several slow heartbeats later, the light coalesced into a single point, one flickering ball of blue-white light that pulsed with it's own steady rhythm. Antares had arrived at last. The midnight stallion smiled broadly, head tilted in the general direction of the newly earth bound star. "Any secrets for us tonight, Antares?" He asked, tail whisking at his heels. 

@[lilliana]

[lilliana]

Her mother had been a fervent believer in the stars.

Aletta had been raised in the mountaintops, as close as a horse could get to the heavens without actually going to them and the stars had always been her closest confidants. She had poured her secrets, her hopes, her desires, her heart into those celestial beings. 

And they had answered her.

As Antares silver light illuminates where darkness once reigned, Lilliana can still remember the understanding that had crept along her spine when Orani had uttered those cryptic words. 'They have heard you, Aletta.' It is the same feeling that she gets now - a divine sense of knowing that can only come from an immortal being. How had she forgotten to listen? Or had she ever really had the ability to hear? When she had been small and Orani had washed up, bedraggled and half-drowned in their home, it never occurred to her that being a startalker might be a gift. Orani had chirped about the stars and their secrets as easily as Lilliana did about Malachi sneaking away to be with lovely Kalina or the secret spot she knew where to find her mother when Aletta thought she was invisible.

It hadn't been until Lilliana had been older that she realized that Orani possessed a gift, a true one and Lilli had turned those blue eyes heavenward. So in the tradition of her dam and granddam before her, the chestnut had poured her heart out to those silent sentinels. She had told them of her deepest desires, of the hopes she had for her future and for her family. She spoke of wishes and dreams and all the beautiful things that deserve to be sent to skyward in rapture. 

How had she forgotten to listen?

Because at some point, Lilliana had lost the things she had loved the most. She had lost her family, her home, the things she had always used to identify herself, her compass in a world that had always seemed far too large for a girl like her. At some point among the strife and upheaval, the dreams had dimmed and Lilliana had stopped listening.

"It's not so difficult," the midnight stallion shares with her. It's then when she sees the cloudiness of his eyes. She thinks of Neverwhere, her friend who struggles with physical sight and Lilliana can't help but wonder if he is like her - that he has the ability to see things clearer than most. An absence of one sense that makes the other ones so much sharper.

The silver light dances, paints shadows across the woods around them until a ball of starlight serves as a beacon before them. Lilliana is stunned into silence - she has never seen such a thing before and Antares light paints reverence across the gentle planes of her face. Tyr smiles openly at the star, with a familiarity that suggests this is not an unusual occurrence and Lilliana feels the air slip from her lungs. "How-", she starts, disbelieving as her gaze goes from the stallion to his ethereal companion. 

And then the dreamer in her smiles. "And what heavens have you fallen from?"

@[Tyr]

[Tyr]

The presence of the star bolstered the stallion's spirit. It was so much easier to be brave when his friend was near. So much easier to trust in the world when he was no longer alone in it. He could trust Antares, something that had been proven over many nights together. With others, such trust was harder to grasp. But it felt a little nearer tonight, with this girl who looked at the stars and saw more than others might. 

The star bobbed like a leaf on a pond, spinning idly between the two horses standing there. Antares did not typically speak when there were strangers were near. He preferred to be a silent observer, watching and learning all the land had to offer. This seemed to be a night for defying expectations, however.

"The ones above you, little Lilliana." A voice like a fingernail on glass lit upon the air. Tyr snorted in surprise. He had not been expecting the star to communicate until after they were on their own again. Was there something different about this girl that he wasn't aware of? Something obvious only to those who could see? Or something the star knew on a different level, one unique to the celestial being. 

The midnight stallion wasn't sure what to make of this new development. A twinge of something like jealously picked at him, an ugly feeling that he wasn't used to. Antares was his friend. And that friendship meant everything to him. To share it... Would that make it less special? Would it make him less special? Worse still, what if Antares decided another might be a better companion after all this time, and leave him. To be alone in the darkness again was a thought beyond bearing. 

Anxiety constricted his throat, drew his head low to let the white hair fall back in his face. He shouldn't be so fearful. It was a silly reaction, but the might was already so unusual. Everything felt off balance and he wanted desperately to regain his footing. 

Antares wasn't finished, though. The star shone reflectively for a moment, illuminating the scene in its gentle way. "There are strange beings not of this world appearing in the East, my friends. It will not do to wander alone much longer." 

This news shook Tyr from his melancholy thoughts. When he had asked for secrets, this was not what he'd anticipated hearing in response. Wandering was his nature, was all he knew how to do. Ischia would be the logical place to go. His sisters would welcome him, and their ancestral home was about as far from the East as one could go. His head shook unhappily. "Thank you for the news, Antares." He hummed a note of curiosity before twisting to face the girl once more. 

"I guess I haven't told you who I am yet. Name's Tyr. Antares called you Lilliana, right? That's pretty." Was she as pretty as her name suggested? She had been kind so far, so it seemed a reasonable connection to make. But back to the matter at hand. "Have you got a home? My sisters live in Ischia, I figure they won't have a problem with you staying with us while whatever Antares was talking about gets sorted out..." 

The offering was given with a smile, even if the idea of going back to the island was less than ideal to the stallion. It was where he'd been born, yes, and where his family remained. But it had never felt like the right fit to him. His sisters, their parents, all held the sea in their grasps. He alone lacked any affinity for the water and their way of life. He was welcome. But he could never stay. 

@[lilliana]

[lilliana]

Bravery is so much easier when borrowed; Lilliana knows that feeling all too well.

But as the starlight spreads before them, as Antares grows to his full strength and bathes everything in that beautiful luminescent light of the heavens, Lilli can feel adoration filling her gaze. The star rests on a leaf, and while the thought might have been a silly one in daylight, the smile that etches itself on her crimson face is full of the love that she has learned from her mother. The stars, after all, were caretakers - were sentinels of dreams and wishes and all lost things. They could act as guides to bring you home.

Perhaps thats why she feels herself so drawn to Antares; how long has she been lost?
Home. Her heart lurches at the word.

There is one gaze that she lets go, one where she looks to heavens and she wonders: Orani? Is this a friend of yours? Have you heard his dreams?

Silent thoughts to the heavens but Antares, while he might bring Tyr jealousy (which she would have been greatly upset to learn of), brought a great amount of relief to the chestnut mare. There was something so comforting, so reassuring about the familiarities of her old life when they presented themselves. Seeing a star might be something unsettling, perhaps it should be, but the presence of Antares feels more like an answer to an unheard prayer than something to be afraid of.

There is a soft smile that curves on her crimson features, a gentle look in her eyes as he says her name. 
But it is a warning he brings. 

"There are strange beings not of this world appearing in the East, my friends. It will not do to wander alone much longer."

Lilliana glances back to the star, heeding his words with each syllable of caution that he uses. The adoration falls away and gives way to something sharper, something fiercer that comes to life behind that blue-eyed gaze. Determination. For a second, she thinks to address the star but his relationship has been with Tyr, not her. And there is something deep, almost sacred, about the bond between the two of them. She won't intrude on that. 

Instead, the questioning expression looks to Tyr, trying to see if the midnight-blue stallion might inquire further. What kind of beings? A message as dark as this one, so tinged in warning, leaves more questions than answers. Tyr thanks Antares and directs the conversation back at her, calling her away from the worries that spread like a plague in her mind. 

"Forgive me," she offers, "It was rude to not tell you earlier. But yes, I'm Lilliana. Lilli, if you don't mind." The last part is colored with a smile. "A pleasure to meet you, Tyr." And it is, despite the celestial tidings as the one that Antares has brought.

There are so many worries that cloud her mind at the words of strangers in the East. Her heart ties in knots and all she can think of is Hyaline, of Elaina. Of how she had wanted nothing but a quiet, peaceful life in that place before she had disappeared. Lilli feels her chest tighten and there are so many thoughts, so many questions, so many heavy things that weigh on her.

The knot rises to her throat and Lilliana does her best to swallow it down. "I come from Taiga," comes a reserved reply. "To the North." She isn't deaf to Tyr's offer and so she counters it with her own, an extension of his kindness. "I'm a Diplomat there. We actually visited with Ischia recently.. with Aquaria and Eva," she says as if that would explain everything. "You'd be welcome there as well," a pause she tries to fill with a sense of humor and the beginnings of a smile, "And Antares too."

@[Tyr]

[Tyr]

Antares was as cryptic as ever, and Tyr knew it would. be pointless to attempt drawing more from the star. His celestial friend was not vague intentionally. Rather, it was only that he saw things from a great distance. 

The causes and effects that had such huge impacts on the horses here below meant little to the light. The only times he revealed his knowledge was to keep Tyr safe; whether that meant directing him through a thicket of trees, or indicating that he would be safer someplace else, he would interfere only as much as needed to aid his earthbound friend. That Lilliana happened to be there to hear it was coincidental. 

Which is why Tyr seemed unbothered by the news. This was their way, to skirt the edges of things. What was out there didn't matter as long as he didn't run across it. Too much curiosity about such things could get him killed. So his mind dis not dwell on the warning any longer than it toom to absorb it. He won't be going East, then, Antares would see to that. Where else they would travel remained to be seen. 

Lilliana took over her introduction, as genteel a lady as he had ever met. "Lilli... Like the flower?" He asked, an appreciative smile lifting his ink dark lips. He loved lilies when he ran across them at the edges of rivers, in the brush of meadows. They had such a lovely scent to them. It was a clear indicator that spring had arrived, one he looked forward to every year. That this girl bore their name seemed a good omen. 

Her further exposition made him smile wider. Taiga was known to him, if only from the edges. Tree roots seemed plentiful there, and he had to walk with more caution than usual to avoid flattening his nose on the seemingly endless trunks. 

But what made him laugh was the mention of his sister, apparently off doing diplomatic things for the island they'd been born on. "Ahh, so you've meet one of them then. How is Aquaria? The little minnow was a baby when I was last with them, couldn't hold still to save her life." He hoped for Ischia's sake that his younger sister had found a dose of moderation with the years that had passed. 

Her offer was an interesting one, and he tilted his head as he considered it. He wasn't particularly looking for a home. But the tides of the world were constantly shifting, and a regular place to bed down wouldn't be the worst thing for a while. "The sky isn't falling yet, I don't think. If it comes to that, I'll need to be with my family. They'll worry too much otherwise. But..." It sounded like an adventure, didn't it? He stepped forward a pace, close enough to catch the sent of the woman in the dark. "I wouldn't mind visiting Taiga. As long as the trees mind their manners. Shall we go?" His easy smile was illuminated by Antares' light, an expression of bright innocence clear to be seen. No point in wasting the night, was there?

@[lilliana]