DAWN
i just killed off what was left of the optimist in me
It seems as though lately, she is constantly telling herself that she has to keep going. If she looks back, and keeps wishing upon that star, she will lose herself and everything that matters to her. She cannot keep clinging to the child she used to be, the one that was so full of hope and ambition and joy. How quickly the optimist in her has been killed off, leaving someone in its place that she is not too sure she recognizes. She wishes she could be the carefree girl she once knew, the one who’s only heartache came from losing her best friend’s embrace; now it seems, it comes from all around.
She has not forgotten the cremello woman from the field so long ago – has it been several years already since that encounter? The years have slipped away so quickly, with her daughters and son at her side as everyone else melts away from her as if she is fire and they are snow. She thinks of the friends she had made along the way, and how it seems as though all of them have slipped through her fingers like so many grains of sand, and a sadness wells in her that she finds hard to control. She wants to let go and find peace, but amidst so much turmoil it seems harder than anything.
The dark sands shift under her hooves as she walks along the shoreline, contemplating way too many things all at once. The words are all a jumble in her head and she shakes herself to clear it, but still the anxiety pulls at her, yanking her in fifteen different directions. She almost doesn’t notice the cream mare, but the splash of brightness against the black pebbles grabs her attention and she lifts her head, smiling as she recognizes Thia. “Hi there,” she calls as she approaches, noting the other’s seeming uneasiness and filing it away. Perhaps she hasn’t quite adjusted to Beqanna yet, though Dawn can’t blame her. This can seem like a terrifying place to a newcomer. “Welcome to the Cove. I’m glad to see you’ve finally made it.”