07-20-2015, 01:12 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-20-2015, 02:19 PM by Aoki.)
Loneliness cuts sharper than any blade. It buries itself deeper and deeper inside of you until you cannot even breathe. The iron that fills my lungs is unbearable, the tang of failure bittersweet on my tongue. Everything I have ever loved, ever cared for is gone. Because of him, because of Crow. He took my darling pink knight from me, my child, my beautiful child. He took me from them all and made me live in the deepest, darkest shadow. My body achingly thin, all bones jutting out. My hips, my ribcage. You could play the xylophone along my body. He kept me prisoner in my own mind, my body was not my own anymore. When I thought it was over, he would relent for some time, he threw me back into the pit of eternal darkness and I came out with more scars, my eyes looking more sunken, my insides as hollow as a cracked egg in spring's glorious birth.
You're mine, you will always be mine.
He returns, his voice crackling like static in my skull. I run, my long legs expanding across the meadow, trying in vain attempts to outrun him. He never works, he's there, he's here. He is everywhere. I see him even now, perched upon a nearby branch, ebony wings like inky quills ruffling, his beak parts and he caws, the very shrill cry sends ice through my veins to pierce my heart. 'Never yours. Aoki is never yours.' I persist, my voice fragile in the cool autumn breeze. It entangles my matted silver tresses, pulling at my emaciated frame, if I were any lighter I am sure the wind would pick me up and take me away. But perhaps, perhaps that is exactly what I want.
You will never escape me. I'm here, I'm everywhere.
He insists, his voice capturing me, his dark eyes inside of my head ever-glaring, dark and monstrous. He shifts and I run. Every raging muscle in my body quivers as I canter, my hooves pounding the dying grass, attempting to still escape. Furious eyes wide, whites shown through the emerald irises. Where they had once got a pristine glow (being loved and being cared for gave them that health.) they now are dull and faded, like the decaying grass in autumn's reign. 'You took him, You took everyone. Why, Why do this to Aoki?' my eyes dampen with crystalline tears, they slip from tightly closed eyes as I run, faster, faster, through the straw-like grasses and closer to the bursting banks of the river. He's stabbing my insides, glass shards deepening and deepening until I feel every little touch of the breeze penetrate me like swords, multiple daggers shape and intrusive through my flesh. I call out, my vocal chords hoarse and withered. It sounds like a dying cry, one last final breath.
Even death cannot take you from me.
And I know he promises that. His promises are bound by my blood, my soul. Even my galloping heart. I weep silently then, pulling my canter to a jog, and then finally pulling to a halt, to look into the rippling waters edge. I'm there. Matted and torn, worn and weathered. I even see my shoulder blades jut out and all angles, my withers tower above all. He has not let me once attempt to care for myself, and then, then I don't even want to. He took Souperman, my darling dearest, Aoki's Souperman. My hero, my knight. The thought of him still sends butterflies in my stomach, but Crow takes them, captures them in slimy monstrous hands and sticks them in a jar. Hoarding them. I wonder where he is. Hoping deep, deep down to my core that Crow did not hurt him. My pink knight. He must be somewhere. And our child, our beautiful Crocell. I hope he had not been taken too. And my last, I have very little memory of, but the pain. The pain of birth still haunts me, still marks my flanks with scars. Ryuk. My one-eyed son. Crow made me leave him, and I did, hidden in the bushes, because I thought he would have a better chance of life than with me, than with Crow.
Like the little whore, you bear children like ripe fruit. What will next spring bring you, Hmm?
'Nothing. Never. You will not have anymore.' I cry out, a broken sound falling from my chapped lips. The sound makes the ripples stronger, distorting my face. My knotted forelock overhands my dying emerald eye. I'm nothing. Nothing what I used to be. It stings, the realisation that Aoki is lost, somewhere inside and that Crow, his ever-watchful eyes are there, always there. I swallow a lump in my throat and with my fore hoof, I roll a stone into the river and watch the ripples shift my reflection some more. That's how I feel, like one large disrupted ripple in the world. And Crow, he was the one throwing all the stones.
it's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within,
A O K I;It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin.
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OOC: I really, really hope Charmx, if you ever read this that this is alright. I have re-read as many of those posts you pointed me to, and hope I have written her well enough. =[
Talking to ones self is usually a good indicator of a weakened state of mind. Just the way he likes them. Easy to manipulate, easy prey. She races around the meadow, screaming like a dying rabbit and never noticing the ghost lurking at the edge of the forest. Cloaked in the protectiveness of the shade he simply watches, red eyes locked on this broken soul. His interest is peaked. He snatches bits of her words here and there but she is screaming and cantering so only some words can be plucked from the air. Aoki. He’s not sure whose name that is, hers or someone else's. But it’s enough to work with and so he propels himself towards her as she finally comes to a standstill and stares at her withered reflection on the choppy surface of the stream.
This one had obviously seen better days. Malnourished, scarred flesh, and the dead look in her eyes. Emerald eyes that would illuminate beautifully if they had been polished up a bit. Not that he wants to polish her up. Far from it, he loves them beautifully broken, already wrecked. The sun hits his skin and he loses his ghostly appearance. Instead he brightens, his dirty white hide seeming a little less disgusting. His red eyes lose a little of their blaze in the light but that serves his intentions just fine. ”You should be careful.” His voice silky smooth and low as he eyes the tears running down her face. ”You’ll attract unwanted attention howling the way you are. Don’t want to attract the wolves do you?” Oh wait…
Too late.
G R Y F F E N
*********the big bad wolf
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Look out, precious.
My ears pin, lacing tightly against my crown. Precious. There was positively nothing precious about me. I failed at most things, throwing myself from the falls' pinnacle had proven wayward and still as I crashed in the foamy waves beneath, I came out still breathing, still alive. And that, that is what pained me so. He would not allow me to live, to live how I would love to live. To run free with the wind entangling my knotted tresses, to feel the earth moist against my skin. No, Crow took everything from me, even the feeling of the small slithers of happiness I sought. I turn my eye to the left, but the feathers of a faraway crow ruffle, his caw snaps me from my reflective state and Crow pulls me inside, and like his obedient vessel, I yield. Turning my head to see the shimmer of translucence. He is like a cloud, drifting along the browning backdrop. I watch him, faded eyes swallowing him. He looked as dangerous as the poisonous spiders that hide beneath logs, as deadly as the bite of a threatened snake.
Wolves don't need the opinions of sheep.
I grunt, my ears lost within the piles of cream mane. I tilt my head, each hoof shuffling along the taler grasses, skittering stones into the river as I go -- even the simply splash spooks me, every nerve wrought and on edge it sends me flying forward, nearly careering into the pallid beast. The closer I get to him, the more his fiery eyes engulf me, and I'm reminded too much of the beast's eyes within.
Oh no my dear, there are none quite like me. However, however this one, he looks promising.
'As promising as death's cold embrace.' I murmur, having longed for death's icy touch for too long, it has almost become comfortable. The shards of ice penetrating my core, what was left of my frail slithers of essence. His predatory glare finds me, and I'm lost there, as Crow had said, like a sheep, and I'm padding closer and closer to the slaughter. Jaded eyes watch him, lidded slightly, clumps of tattered lashes moistening my cheeks as I closed them momentarily, feeling my heart quiver like some dying bird inside of me. Crow does not relent, he's pulling my strings inside, pushing me and pulling me all ways. I've beens stitched up wrongly, all the threads in the wrong places and now my stuffing was leaking all over the floor. Broken and left, scar-ridden and emaciated, all I can do is wait for death's cold embrace. Perhaps, perhaps he has found me first. 'Wolves. Aoki has seen them. Tear, Shred, Rip, Kill. But they do not touch her, even though she longs for it.' My words are as haunting as the wind whistling through the trees on a moonless night, as eerie and cold as the shiver that snakes up your spine. Hoarse and near choking my whisper comes out as jagged as my coat. 'Aoki cannot die. Crow will not allow it.' inside I'm pleading, whispering, longing to reach out and touch the pallid beast with my course scratched nose, and I do, reaching out to touch him, pleading, wanting. And then the darkness shrouds me, envelopes me with tight and tighter ropes, slowly choking me from the inside out.
Now, now. You can't get rid of me that easily.
it's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within,
A O K I;It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin.
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Well it was safe to assume that Aoki was this pathetic creature before him, groveling at his feet for death’s mercy. It was unfortunate for her that he had no mercy to give. Red eyes glitter maliciously as she touches him, moaning for release. Could he kill her? Absolutely. His hooves could pound into her until nothing was left but a bloody disfigured pulp of flesh. But that’s what she wants. What fun is there in that, relieving the suffering of another? Why kill someone who wants to die? No, it would be much more beneficial to keep her alive and see what he could get out of her. ”Would you like to go to sleep Aoki? Would you like to be at peace forever?”
Snaking into her as his lips press to the side of her neck, just below her ear. Disarrayed tendrils of her mane tickling his nostrils as his teeth pinch her flesh. He doesn't know who Crow is, another beast he assumes of flesh and blood. A ruthless stallion who controls the women in his life due to lack of self-esteem and insecurity, it wouldn’t be the first time he’s come across that. ”I can give you what you seek.” He whispers tantalizingly, ”I can keep Crow away forever.” Oh if death is what you want then you’re going to have to earn your way into it’s black embrace. ”You’ll just have to do something for me first.”
G R Y F F E N
*********the big bad wolf
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Rusted chains rattle, locks unbolt and doors slide open. Crow is on the move, his dark presence stronger, more possessive the longer I am immobile, the longer I am in the presence of another. His dark fingers curl around my throat, the darkness slipping and sliding just behind my eyes. Faded green that look like the dying autumn grass at my feet. They watch him, the pallid beast, all of his form, shimmering in the light. Ghosts walk along paths trodden by most, but they can easily cast a glance my way. I'd seen many ghosts, perhaps from Crow himself, but they follow me, their dark eyes swallowing me.
There is no sleep, no peace for you. Mine. Mine.
The chains rattle horrendously, they are all I hear. My ears pin tightly against my crown. I try and block him, but his unseen hands crawl over my skin, unperturbed by any, not even the pallid beast. Because he knows no one can see him, he is tainted, a ghoul of sorts, a spectre only I can see. Somewhere along my life line, I'd troubled someone, something and he attached himself to me. As far as I can remember, it's always been Crow and it has always been Aoki. But more often than once, I've longed to be solitary.
'The man can keep Crow away from Aoki?' there is a strange brightness in my voice, such a contrast against my broken, bruised frame. The emerald glaze returns momentarily. 'Aoki will do anything, anything for that.' The rusted chains rattle, slide and drag across the halls of my mind, he threatens me, teeth gnashing, fingers pulling and strangling me, choking me. I cough, a drawled breath. My lungs like lead, my eyes clear like glass marbles as they look upon the beast. 'Aoki will do whatever he wants.'
Foolish girl. But if he hurts you, I will treasure the moment. There is nothing like seeing you break some more.
'Break me more.' I say, a whisper, as fragile as a dying butterfly. I extend my course muzzle and drag it across the pale steed's shoulder. My silvery mane falling in ringlets over my eyes. It is a foolish notion, indeed a foolish expression, but I reach for him with perpetual shaking hands. My salvation. 'Whatever the cost. Aoki will do anything. Please, please stop Crow.'
My dear, there is no stopping me. That, I can promise.
it's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within,
A O K I;It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin.
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