"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
Her tears begin to dry half way through the trip to the island. Her soul has never been heavier, her heart has never known such pain. Of course the thought of Castile nags in the back of her mind. To find him and tell him what happened. However it feels wrong. She needs to sort through her clouded thoughts, she needs to heal. She needs to find Jah.
The cramping has started to fade but there’s still pangs in her abdomen that makes her wince, that make the trip slower. She assumes it’s guilt and stress rolled into a messy little ball, a ball and chain to drag with her as penance for causing the one she loved so much pain. She had never wanted to hurt him. Never had she expected their first declaration of love to end like this.
Of course she could have curled into a ball and cried until the end of time. Part of her wants to badly. Instead she leaves her sobbing behind on the road although the sorrow never leaves the dull strands of silver in her hollowed eyes. She doesn’t stop even when she feels the sickness push at her stomach.
Tired and heartsick, she drags herself to Ischia. Drags herself to find the red wytch that had helped her so long ago. The one that held wisdom that the stars could not give her. ”Jah” She calls shakily, trembling with the pressure of her pain. The ragged wound across her cheek almost forgotten compared to the internal turmoil she faces.
The air is warm despite the cool weather and she pushes through ferns and vines with nothing but her instinct to guide her. ”Jah!” She calls again, desperate. ”I think I messed up…” Soft words meant mostly for herself but still ringing in truth. She hated herself for feeling this way, for being this way. She had wanted to be a protector, to be good. Instead she had become a destroyer. Perhaps she belonged in the Underneath after all.
all of time and space, everywhere and anywhere, every star that ever was
If you leap awake in the mirror of a bad dream, and for a fraction of a second you can't remember where you are...
The red wytch has been scouring every corner of Ischia, she is restless. She doesn't exactly know what she's looking for, but when she finds it, she'll know. My mare is nesting. A voice, an urge, whatever you want to call it, it drives her. There is a primal need pushing her, telling her to find a place to bear her young. The island has no predators, except of the hooved variety, and surely none would be so stupid as to cross the mate of the Wolf or the Wind. She is glad her mate has found and claimed this land for them. There are many hidden thickets, many places to be turned into a honeycomb hideaway, many places for Jah to bring her child into the world in safety, in secrecy. It is in the search for such a place that she hears her name.
The voice cuts through the calm afternoon air like a knife, and she jerks her head up sharply. Her ears are perked, she stands as tall as she can straining to pinpoint the location of the sound. When she is beckoned for again she bounds off. Taking care to watch her feet and her belly, she makes her way towards the edge of their island. A leap over a log and she's breached the perimeter of the trees, and all she sees is ocean in front of her. She trots forth, making a sharp left as she she's a dark form making its' way up the beach, and that's when she realizes who it is. @[Ciri] has come to call on her.
The girl is a mess, but she is glowing. She's waterlogged and shaking as she tries to find her feet beneath her in the wet sand. Jah notes a new scar on the mare's face that wasn't there before, she's sure of it. She healed every wound on the young creature's body and she knows that one wasn't there. There are salty tear stains below her eyes, she's been crying, surely a result of the girl's delicate state. As soon as Ciri emerges from the sea Jah can see it, the shine of the first pregnancy. Hair soft and long, coat gleaming in the sun. Jah-Lilah wears this new skin herself, would anyone to notice she would blame the happy and healthy new environment she's thriving in, but the Earth-Mother knows the truth.
My firefly goes to the girl's side, helping her gain her bearings. She nuzzles her, making mother-mare noises to calm her down. "Daughter-of-the-Stars, are you alright? What's going on?" Concern in plastered all over her face as she gives the girl a once-over, making sure she's uninjured from her long and arduous journey from what Jah assumes is Hyaline.
...just open your window, and follow your memory upstream to the meadow at the lake's edge where we counted every fallen star.
It hadn’t been easy to find her. The scent of the red mare had been slowly fading from Hyaline for awhile. She knew the wytch was a wanderer who usually didn’t stray too far from her two consorts. However, in the chaos of her own drama, she had missed what had happened in Ischia. The sudden change of power players, how Hyaline’s protector was now Ischia’s ruler. Eventually the news had been passed along the trail for her to pick up the right thread. The closer she gets, the stronger her scent becomes.
In the aftermath of the Sylva party (they had left long before the forest had started to burn) she had failed to recognize what was happening to her body. That her coat seemed to shine despite the extra layer of fur growing in preparation of winter. The softness and extra length in her mane, the strange cramping that she keeps writing off on the current stress of her predicament. Having never been with child before, she doesn’t notice the signs. Even now, she barely shows. Eating was the last thing on her mind, her appetite diminished with the constant turmoil raging in her belly. The heaviness on her chest. Perhaps she was slightly curvier than before but she is blind to the changes. Blind to everything except the tug o war playing upon her heart.
When she comes, relief seems to flood through every fiber of her being. She had told herself she would not break down but now she seems unable to control herself. Her feelings and emotions seem to spin on a dime and she is sobbing uncontrollably as soon as Jah is nestled around her. Burying her wounded face into the feathery mane, smelling sweetly of the sea, trying to gain some sort of control over herself. Between choked sobs and angry tears, she starts to explain. ”Amet and I had a fight.” She begins, explaining the day her and Castile had met. The strange feeling she had felt when they had locked eyes. The tension between the three that day. ”And after the Sylva party, I went to the River…” Explaining how she had been caught off guard and alone by a strange blue roan mare who had attacked her. Cutting her face. How she had fled and got turned around. ”Castile found me…” Turning into a dragon, drawing her into his embrace. Protecting her and then confessing he wanted her. ”I told Amet… I told him that I loved him but the feelings I have for Castile feel real too.” She is shuddering with a mix of anger and sadness, telling her of how Amet had shut down. How she had confessed her confusion. How he had broken down and she hadn’t known what to do.
When the tears finally seem to run out, sniffling, she pulls away from Jah. To look at her with desperation, needing her wisdom more than anything. ”I ask the stars and they are silent. I don’t know what is right, what to do. I don’t want to hurt anyone, I don’t want to feel this way.” Lowering her gaze, ashamed, down to the wet sand still sucking at her hooves. ”Do you think I could stay with you for awhile? May I stay?”
all of time and space, everywhere and anywhere, every star that ever was
11-05-2017, 05:24 PM (This post was last modified: 11-05-2017, 09:27 PM by Jah-Lilah.)
Jah-Lilah
someday, we will foresee obstacles
I believe the light that shines on you will shine on you forever.
Ciri had found her with some difficulty, Jah-Lilah is not surprised. Surely anyone in the land of Beqanna with common sense would know the red wytch had followed her green and gold lovers to the island territory and pass said information off to the dark female. However the journey is long and challenging, even to so great a warrior as the silver-eyed mare. My mare was relieved the girl had came to her, relieved her secrets had been told so the little Star could find her. My mare sighs and takes the inexperienced mare into her, holding her as tightly as her equine body would allow. Suddenly a realization dawns upon the daft witchy woman. Daughter-of-the-Stars has no idea that she carries within her the seed of the Dragon-King. Jah works to soothe the girl and calm her, lest she stress out the unborn growing inside her womb.
In short work her mane becomes soaked with heartbroken tears, and all Jah can do is console and begin to lead the girl from the beach into the jungle. She walks with her until the girl nearly falls to her knees, and they rest. Suddenly words come spilling out of @[Ciri] uncontrollably as she recants the events that have unfolded. Jah-Lilah listens silently, only offering a nod of encouragement when needed. She hears about the disagreement she had with her mate, and then the tale of how she met another, a male Jah-Lilah is unfamiliar with. Ciri calls him "Castile", and Jah furrows her brow, contemplating. She then begins to describe a mare who sounds much too much like Dark-Moon for Jah to be comfortable. She narrows her eyes as she listens, nodding again. She finally speaks, voice low and steady. "I know the mare you speak of I think, Dark-Moon. She runs with a ghost of a stallion with eyes red like blood." Jah huffs, shaking herself angrily.
The charcoal mare pulls from her suddenly, those silver eyes meeting Jah's emerald ones. She searches frantically, desperation and despair evident in her gaze. She is all but begging, everything has gone silent to the little star. Jah-Lilah knows the feeling, the loneliness, the confusion. Daughter-of-the-Stars needn't worry about these things, at least not while she's here on the Mare's Crest with Jah-Lilah. My wytch kisses her forehead, speaking in a hushed voice. "Of course, Daughter, of course you may stay. Perhaps a change of scenery and some adventures with this ol' wytch will help you find the answers you need. For now, put all that trouble aside and come with me, we'll find you something to ease the pain in your heart and in your mind. After that, I'll take you to the Wolf-of-the-Water, she'll know what to do from there." Standing up tall, she nudges the girl forward, and with a nip to her flank they are off into the jungle to sample the curiosities Jah-Lilah has in mind for the youth.
Although I can't guarantee there's nothing scary hiding under your bed.
Exhaustion sweeps over her like a dark cloud, smothering and thick. Her sorrow fades from angry tears to a consistent ache in her chest. That kind of ache that feels like a heavy weight on your heart while simultaneously making your stomach feel like it’s dropping through an endless black hole. That depression that settles over you in your grief, when you think you’ll never experience another happy day again in your life. That you’ll never find your way out of this bleak pit you’ve fallen into. You know the one.
Being nestled against the older mare is soothing, like warm tea. It’s just what she needs, this calming force that does it’s best to balm the raw wounds of her heart. Having lost her mother so long ago, she had forgotten what it was like to be cared for in such a way. Her ache grows tenfold, suddenly missing Soliel inexplicably. However she is grateful for the red mare and how she had come into her life. Jah-Lilah had become an important figure in the young mares eyes, the closest thing to a mother that she has left.
She had braced herself for disappointment from Jah, for her to judge her actions and her decisions thus far. It’s with relief that the mare does no such thing, she merely listens. And a realization dawns on her that the mare actually understands her pain. Regardless if she approves of it or not, she understands. That’s all she had ever wanted. As she mentions her attacker (remembering the wolf and then a mix of cobalt blue), the wytch seems to become still before admitting she knows who had done this to her face. For a moment she feels a flare of anger but it quickly dies away. She doesn’t care who had attacked her, who had thought her prey. She held a hundred scars over her body, what was one more? Besides it wouldn’t make anything better, to find her. She wasn’t the source of her problems. Just the match that lit the spark to what would have happened inevitably.
Closing her eyes against the calming sweep of her motherly kiss across her forehead, she exhales slowly. Trying to make herself calm down. At least she could stay here while she tried to gain some control back over her life. At least she wouldn’t be completely alone. She tries to smile in response to her enthusiasm but it wavers hesitantly before fading completely from her dark lips. Responding to the nip, she lurches forward and follows Jah-Lilah into the jungle. She feels clumsy here, out of her element. Her pace is slower as she tries to move beneath ferns and not trip over tangled vines. After a few moments, she calls out behind her, ”What are we looking for?” Amet and Castile, both are wrapped around her mind and squeezing at her broken heart. They are never far from her thoughts but she tries to push them away, to focus on the mare and whatever she might discover.
all of time and space, everywhere and anywhere, every star that ever was
11-09-2017, 02:27 PM (This post was last modified: 11-10-2017, 07:55 PM by Jah-Lilah.)
Jah-Lilah
I'm gonna stand guard, like the animal who lives inside you.
A dark cloud of grief and dread follows behind Ciri like a happy puppy, and Jah-Lilah furrows her brow. She makes a face, then grumbles some words at the air, shooing the negativity away. For now she'll steer clear of her den of perpetual love, until she can fix what's eating the star child. The girl seems barely able to walk, so overcome by emotion it drains her strength, so my mare offers her support. She already carries the weight of one child physically, what's one more to carry emotionally and spiritually. She has enough to go around, she is abundant and plentiful. The girl folds in on Jah-Lilah like a foal and my mare is there for her. Her ragged, uneven breathing calms, and soon they make their way inland.
The younger woman seems oblivious to the changes that are happening to her. My wytch has wrote a great many things off due to pregnancy, and delightedly so. It's not every day that a mare can blame everything on an unborn child, so internally she's been taking full advantage of it. Her growing girth, her strange cravings, her sudden mood swings, her DRASTIC loss of patience. Not her fault, she's got a bun in the oven. @[Ciri] asks curiously about their current activity, and Jah-Lilah makes a statement, trying to elicit a specific response. "We need to find a plant that you can take to settle your ass down while your in this condition." She casts a glace at the dark female, and when there is no reaction, no agreement, Jah-Lilah stops in her tracks. She turns to face the girl, meeting her swirling eyes.
"Daughter-of-the-Stars, have you not noticed the changes happening to you? Hungry all the time, emotional, horny..." She peers around at the dark barrel, covered in wintery fur but still obviously swollen. "Your growing stomach? Have you not been in pain, cramps and aches as your body changes, silly girl?" A grin widens on her face as she tosses her head. Ciri has no idea she has a baby dragon inside her.
I'll never leave until I leave you with a sweet dream in your head.
Her mind is only half focused on the task at hand so it’s a rather blank look that meets Jah’s probing gaze and prodding question. Settle her down? She assumes she means to settle her turmoiled emotions and the thought seems appealing. Anything to make this ache in her heart go away, she would do anything to be the mare she had once been. Strong and certain, a fighter. Not this broken thing she had become.
However there is something in the way that the red mare stops in her tracks and gives her a very pointed look that makes her awaken slightly. The silver strands are sluggish as they swirl slowly in her eyes. Changes? Well her appetite sucked lately but all those cramping pains in her abdomen, the sudden aversion to the smell of wisteria… And she had been feeling fatter. Still her mind is reluctant to connect the dots, to accept the truth. Especially at this point in her life when everything was such a mess.
The last time her and Amet had made love had been in Sylva, at the party. She knew how babies were made but for some reason had never applied that logic to her own relationship. That the possibility of a child being created between them would actually happen. They were just children themselves... At least she was anyways. Trying to navigate this new world of love and feelings... She felt like a lost child half the time.
”I have been getting pains in my stomach…” She says slowly, hesitantly. ”I don’t understand…” She says thickly but the dread is growing as the lightbulb suddenly seems to brighten in her head. Oh…. No.
all of time and space, everywhere and anywhere, every star that ever was
11-10-2017, 07:54 PM (This post was last modified: 11-10-2017, 07:55 PM by Jah-Lilah.)
Jah-Lilah
someday, we will foresee obstacles
I'm gonna watch you shine, gonna watch you grow. I'm gonna paint a sign, so you'll always know.
A bewildered look falls upon the child's face as Jah speaks. It's as if my mare speaks a whole different language, the way the girl stares slack-jawed. There are gears turning in her brain, Jah-Lilah can see them moving. A puzzle is slowly being put together as Ciri furrows her brows, trying to decipher Jah's not-too-subtle clues as to what's been going on with her. It's obvious all the emotional turmoil that the youth has been going through has been clouding her judgement. By no means was she dumb, and no one could call her daft, but right now Jah was seriously questioning it. Had she truly thought after nights of raucous love-making to the Dragon-King, that there would be no chance she'd be bearing his child? This girl really was lost in a hurricane of emotion.
Suddenly realization begins to fall over the frame of Daughter-of-the-Stars, and she mutters something about pains in her belly. Jah-Lilah sighs with mild exasperation, rolling her emerald eyes and shaking her head, "Star, you are having the baby of the Dragon-King. I don't know anything about this other stallion you insist on talking about, I only know the scent and the signs of the ruler of Hyaline. You stink of him, it seeps from your pores, from the inside out. You will bear him a child." Pointedly she turns on her heel, meandering forward a few feet to continue her search.
The red wytch continues on as if she had never dropped the bomb on @[Ciri], as if she did not know the weight of the news she carried. My firefly knew that somewhere around here she had seen some chamomile, and that should help with the girl's maternity pains. Upon discovery of the herbs she had squirreled away, she grunts enthusiastically. A mouthful is grabbed up and she shoves them in the face of the ebony mother-to-be. "Here, Daughter-of-the-Stars, eat." My mare watches her munch the greenery, pursing her lips, thinking.
As long as one and one is two, there will never be a mother love her daughter more than I love you.
11-10-2017, 09:12 PM (This post was last modified: 11-10-2017, 09:14 PM by Modicum Mortem.)
Gryffen's mission had been clear - follow the red wytch, and see what she was up to. Stalk her, know her every movement, from where she sleeps, to where she eats, to who she's talking to and who she's fucking. Know everything, and then report back to the wraith with some valuable information.
He wouldn't go back to Sylva until he had just that.
This is where her aroma had led him. The journey to Ischia takes him but a few days, the swim being the hardest part. His legs are shorter than that of a "normal" horse, and he had to work double time to be able to get there without drowning. How he wished he could fly here. Maybe someday.
As he emerges from the water, he makes a point of covering up the odor of Sylva (which, since Gryffen's party, smelled strongly of sex and fire, it was hard to miss). He rolls his soaking wet body until he is immersed in a thick, impenetrable layer of sand. The more he is concealed, the better chance he had of not being detected. He looks around him, then makes a beeline for the heavy forest (oh how perfect it was for trailing the crimson mare), and begins to sniff around for her.
He catches her scent quicker than anticipated, and finds himself hunting the island for her. His body, already low to the ground, glides through the palms; he ducks under trees, wiggles stealthily through tropical flora, until finally, finally he spots her. He makes a point of lowering himself close to the ground, not daring to crack a branch or crunch of leaf.
She stands with another mare, some scarred, smokey black thing, and they talk together. He is in earshot of their entire conversation. They exchange words about how the "Daughter-of-the-stars" has messed up with a man named Amet, because she has fallen in love with another as well, Castile. They talk about some "Dragon-King," and how the stranger is impregnated by him. The clown stifles a laugh when the mare does not realize she is carrying his child. It seems as though she's taking care of her.
Not much is said about the wytch, but he does gain several "names" of those she associates with:
"Wolf-of-the-water".
"Daughter-of-the-stars," Ciri.
Amet, the "Dragon-King".
Castile.
But most importantly, he now knows her own...Jah-Lilah.
As the truth begins to settle, digging itself into every corner and recess of her clouded mind, humiliation and terror take a firm hold of the smoky scarred mare. Feeling beyond foolish for not taking precautions, for letting her lust and love get the better of her. For not seeing the signs. They had all been there, staring her right in the face. Maybe she had always known and just recoiled into her denial as if it could protect her like the shield of stars did.
Jah-Lilah wipes away all traces of her doubt as she puts the situation into words, laying it before her plainly. Forcing her to see. That she was pregnant. Pregnant with Amet’s child. Of course it was his, Jah was right, only he had ever had the privilege of invading her body. He had been the only one to know her secret pleasure, to coax it from her. She had been loathe to share such intimacy with Castile when she was so confused, when her heart was so torn. It hadn't felt right to do.
You will bare him a child.
As the red mare turns and continues to scavenge through the jungle foilage, she is left standing forlornly with the heavy weight of reality on her shoulders. Pregnant with her ex lovers child. How grand. “What a mess you have gotten yourself into Ciri", she thinks. Slowly, she finally follows the hoof prints left in the soil. Catching up with the herbalist. She is too shook from the realization to say much, only able to go through the motions asked of her. When the herb is pushed to her face, she takes it without complaint. Without fight. Chewing methodically on the plant, tasting hints of apple and earth, an airy sweetness.
Her hunger has all but evaporated but still the herbs work quickly, already soothing some of the tension within her abdomen. Even as her stomach settles, the rest of her seems to go into overdrive with her worry. There is a rustle in the vines to her side but she barely pays any attention, to wrapped up in her own predicament to care if someone was listening. ”What am I to do?” She whispers miserably under the red mares watchful stare.
all of time and space, everywhere and anywhere, every star that ever was
