"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
It was cold. So cold. Her sides were already thin, and then the winter came and smothered the grasses. Thin and malnourished. Living in a wasteland would do that to a girl, especially when she went out of her way to try avoiding the others that lived there. There was not much grazing to be found, for certain. The few spots worth dining would be occupied, a dark culprit settled so comfortably on their throne. So, she looked a bit frail maybe. But she was working on that.
Today she'd slipped away. Finally, she was unnoticed, just as it had been before when Tioga was a steady protector nearby. Before the change in leadership. Before she was noticed.
Her entire body racked and quaked with the chill. She wasn't escaping, not really. Or was she? Was such a thing even possible? Could she escape that place for good? More trembles jerked her legs and she pushed on, burying herself deep within the Forest. Wide, blue eyes darted left and right, glanced over her shoulder anxiously. Always over her shoulder, as though she expected something to be there. A monster. Not today, though. Not just now. Only Rhae, chocolatey-coated girl with the pale hair and fragile eyes.
She paused when she came across a small clearing, hesitating at the edge of the treeline. Nobody was near though, and still she hesitated. Her weight shifted nervously, and again she looked behind her. Just in case. No, just her. Only Rhae. Hungry gaze fell to the clearing again, hoping beneath the fine dusting of snow would be at least a morsel of nourishment. As if on cue, her stomach grumbled in protest of her involuntary fasting. Yes, ok. Ok!
She darted in and immediately began nosing away the layer of snow. Hope filled her when she was so quickly rewarded with some brittle, damp grasses. Her heart raced, and despite not finding anyone thus far she felt like a doe in the sights of a hunter. One she couldn't see, couldn't smell. Eyes on her back, or possibly paranoia, raised the hair along her spine. She tried to ignore it, continued to eat. She needed this.
A twig snapped somewhere off to her right, and she startled with a small leap to the left. Eyes wide and fearful she watched intently with bated breath. Who's there, she wanted to call, but her tongue suddenly felt too thick in her mouth. Her throat closed. No, she could do this.
Who's there, she challenged, her voice only a little shaky. Not bad.
It could have been worse, right? Maybe it was nothing. Maybe she could continue to fill her body back as it should be. Her head lowered cautiously, ready to do just that as her eyes stayed trained in the direction of the noise. Just in case.
There was a desperation that polluted the air now, something akin to loss, to a brokenness they all felt. Well, most of them. Potion refused to dwell overlong on the fact that she did not have her gift and spent more time on how she would claim it back. Oh yes, she would have what was hers returned to her, make no mistake.
It wasn’t as simple as a flesh bargain, not this time, though she could not blame Ecco for snatching up that opportunity- the girl was hungry even more so than she. Perhaps there was a connection there too, a tether made thicker and stronger by the act, so instead of lecturing her daughter she remained stoic. Words meant nothing these days anyway, it was action that settled disputes and Potion simply let Ecco win.
There is nothing greater than a Mother’s love.
Yet family was the single most powerful gift they had all been given, her Father had made sure of that. Blood is thicker than water and the oceans swam red with it. The ocean was far now, perhaps too far and yet she could sense that it was there, something deep within the marrow of her bones. Something ingrained in her being upon entering the world from her Dam’s womb, as commonplace as her beating heart.
Snow catches her lashes, her silver form moving through the drifts and from a distance she watches a lone mare in a clearing. A sad, frail little thing, her dark coat like a beacon against the pristine contrast of the snow. Skinny, her bones were too visible, Potion could likely trace them with the tip of her nose and name each one as she stroked it. Snap a twig beneath the blanket of white gave way and though it was muffled it was too quiet here to go unnoticed. She might as well have yelled out to the girl, shouted hey you there and she is greeted as though she has, the mare leaping in response.
Fear, palpable, filling the air until she can taste it.
Who’s there? a shaky challenge and Potion laughs, lets it bubble up her misty throat until it dances into existence past her lavender maw. “Oh dear, you’ll need to work on that,” there is laughter in her voice, a sweetness that is on another plane, timeless and unchanging, unseen but you can feel it. “Am I supposed to be afraid?” she asks, even if she has a feeling she knows the answer. “Hmmmm,” she hums a thought, feigning to calculate the situation, “I’m called Potion.”
She kept her head down. She was good at that; keeping her head down, don't get noticed, keep to herself. Somehow, it wasn't always enough. Sometimes it just didn't work.
A laugh, too sweet and genuine to be malicious. It was almost infectious, even through her terror, and a shy smile tried to climb its way to her face. She was disarmed in that moment, in that soothing sound. Her fear dulled though she was still cautious, and her eyes lost the wild fear that had widened them. For once, the unfamiliarity was what put her at ease. Rhae didn't know her, hadn't seen or heard her before. She wasn't one of them, the frightening ones.
"Am I supposed to be afraid?"
Her feeble little smile widened just a bit in embarrassment. She shook her head "no", but her words were once again lodged within her throat. No, of course not. I guess not.. Fear had never been something she could cause in another. Always the opposite. Not usually fear though, that was a recent thing she learned to feel. Before, it had only been awkwardness, anxiety. Now she had learned to be afraid. He had taught her that.
She introduced herself as Potion. It sounded odd for a name, she thought, but of course did not say so. She inhaled a nervous breath, her eyes falling to the ground. Her favorite thing to look at, it seemed.
I'm.. Rhae, she said softly. Even saying her own name, her voice lacked confidence.
She suddenly felt very self-conscious, looking so thin and haggard, and shifted her weight a bit. She hadn't always looked this way, and she intended to reverse it. It wasn't as though she didn't want to look after herself, or couldn't manage to. She just... Well, she was away now, here now, and eating. So it would right soon. Slowly, but she would get there. Being away from Pangea was the first step. Oh, awkward silence. I tend to cause those. It means I'm supposed to speak next.. Um.
Mmm, she hummed under her breath, desperately trying to think of something to say. She was really terrible at this talking thing. After glancing around and fidgeting for a moment, she finally gave up. She shrugged in apology, not even sure what she was sorry for, and continued to eat. Oh, there was something, right?
Oh, are you hungry? I'm sorry.. sorry. You can have this spot if you like..
So strange, so awkward.
As their conversation, interaction, progresses she deems this to be some sad, broken little creature. If she were someone else entirely perhaps she would pity the girl, try to nurture her, take her under wing in a sense. As it is Potion merely watches, each mannerism timidly emerging from the girl, her eyes drilling holes into the ground, her voice shakily making sentences in awkward conversation. It was likely she had brought this all upon herself, her fear, her poor condition- it was her fault, not the result of circumstance.
Potion didn’t know such weakness, the idea of being afraid to even eat was foreign to her.
She knew only strength, certainty and ambition. Each morning she woke to the crash of waves against craggy cliffs, ate tough, salty grasses and played games of life and death with her peers. She watched closely as Father tossed cartwheels in the air, learned at a young age the act of procreation, the power one could have over another by performing it. She listened to hushed conversations, silver tongues dancing with feigned promises, luring the simple to unpleasant (for them) fates.
“Oh but you’ll only die quicker if I eat it all,” a stab in the ribs, a no-thank you in the form of unsugarcoated truths. “Did you want to survive the winter this year?” It was her own challenge in a sense, every word of it leaked her disbelief that the girl could actually manage to do it. “Rhae, is it?” Rhae, a simple enough name, pretty in a sense but potion’s idea of beauty was subjective. Was a dandelion pretty? Yes well, of course it was. How about the shrieks of a gull as it’s wings are crushed? Mesmerizing no?
“Is that why you are so thin then Rhae, offering your food to others? You should eat your fill of course, you found it, not I. Always think about number one Rhae, it would do you some good.” Of course as unempathetic as it was, Potion thought in some way she was offering a word of wisdom.
Rhae frowned delicately, not entirely sure she heard her right. Or maybe she just didn't mean it the way it sounded. She didn't look like a cruel person, so maybe Rhae just wasn't reading her right. It certainly wouldn't be the first time, of course. She found she often did that, mistake things. Yes, quite a lot, actually.
And Potion's next question was sort of caring in it's way, though the tone might not have changed much from the first dig. Rhae was starting to get a little nervous again, not comfortable with her inability to understand what was going on here. Was she nice, or something else? Maybe she should have stayed in Pangea after all. Maybe she could have found something there to eat without bringing too much attention to herself.
"Is that why you are so thin then Rhae, offering your food to others?" She shook her head a little, just a little. She didn't really offer her food... Well, if someone wanted it and was hungry of course... She didn't want to step on any toes or anything or get in the way so... Especially in Pangea. But Potion continued and gave her advice of a sort, or maybe a suggestion: that Rhae focus on number one.
Well, she did care about herself of course. That's what her number one was, right? Oh, right. Yes, of course that's what she meant. I'm from Pangea. The..wasteland, she offered by way of uncertain explanation. It wasn't an excuse, really. She didn't think it was. They are.. powerful people. I try to avoid them if I can. She shrugged a little helplessly with a shy smile.
Bruise had been the most frightening so far, but she tried not to think about him. Especially today when she'd managed to escape and find a bit of peace. Sort of.
I'll probably have to go back soon. Or, I suppose I should.. But food first, of course. Definitely. She could probably just stay, she didn't think anyone would come looking for her. Except maybe Bruise, though she thought he'd have better things to do than keep tabs on her all the time. Right? Probably. Oh she was thinking about him again..
Um. Do you live here, then? The forest? It seems..nice. A little dark maybe, but nice.
She shivers once as the frigid air kicks past her, Potion did not much care for the winter season. Sure she could get by, was warm enough, her gray coat thick and full. She had plenty to eat but still, she didn’t have to enjoy it being freezing. She appears to steel herself, composing her body and taking claim of its actions, as though the previous movement was involuntary. Her pastel eyes watch the other mare, the thin one, that looked to blow over at any moment. Actually she now wondered if it had ever happened, it was entirely possible and a small smile curved against her lips. Just enough to counter the frown she received.
The other woman shakes her head, a no response to handing over her food to others. Well, who knows maybe she was one of those charitable types, helping the hungry and whatnot. Her answer deems otherwise so potion is left to begin deducing another possibility for the mares haggard appearance. She doesn’t have to consider anything for long, the answer soon finds her, leaving the thin lips of the other. Pangea, hmm odd name but okay. A wasteland? Gross. Potion shook her head, snorting in annoyance at the thought. Who would ever want to live in a wasteland, why didn’t they all just leave?
Powerful, oh now that’s a word she knows. It is unusual though for those with power to submit themselves to such harsh conditions, why waste away, what power was there in being frail, malnourished?
“Ruling a wasteland, proud they must be.” A chuckle left her pastel mouth as she nodded, chewing on her cheek in thought. “Why yes, for now we stay here in the forest. No his highness or her majesty, plenty of food, tree cover. It’s a real home away from home.”She laughed again at that, sarcasm evident in her last observation, this was truly not a home away from home. Nothing replaces the sea.
“Oh well, go if you must, or not, makes no difference to me.” She casually scooted aside some snow with her left hoof, revealing a patch of icy green beneath. “I wish you luck, three weeks even,Rhae. At the rate you’re going of course” Three weeks? Oh, but the girl wouldn’t know of their game. Three weeks to live, three weeks left of slowly wasting away before she would surely freeze to death from winter’s kiss. “Or you could eat, stay a while,” you can be my little pet she said without saying, hiding her thoughts with the prospect of a full stomach.
She shared another shy smile with Potion at the sound of her chuckle. Proud of ruling a wasteland, yes that was a bit backwards, wasn't it? She'd never thought of it that way. They really were powerful, and now she wondered why nobody had made it more likable with all the magic they must surely have access to. It wasn't very logical, was it?
At the mention of the forest being her home, Rhae glanced around again. She supposed it was an ok place to live. There was certainly more food here and less... villains. And there was Potion, too. She had a strong personality, strong like Tioga. Rhae didn't know her but for a few minutes now and already felt a little safer with her. But she'd said "we" not "I". So she had others here with her, that was good too. More safety.
She found she wasn't really wanting to leave, not just yet, anyway. Hungry doe eyes caught at the mare's movement, snagged on the green revealed beneath more snow. Her tummy growled again. No one would miss her if she stayed a bit longer. Or if she stayed forever, even. Well, not forever. But maybe somewhere new after, maybe somewhere that wasn't Pangea. Bruise..
No, he wouldn't notice. Even now, he probably forgot about her. It was a good thing, she told herself.
"Or you could eat, stay a while."
It sort of sounded like an offer. Maybe a friendship? She hadn't had one of those. Not any that stayed. And Potion did seem quite strong, in her way, whatever it was.
You're right, of course. I should stay and take care of me for once, she said with a smile. The other girl did seem to have the best advice so far, after all. And she did manage to care about Rhae, if only politely.
The thin mare’s stomach rumbles and it is the perfect reward. Potion smiles a small smile while inside she celebrates. It was almost too easy sometimes, she had inherited a bit of Kirin’s charisma but that’s not to say she was as good at it as he. When the occasion presented itself, it appeared she managed just fine in the subtle stealing of one’s favor. The poor, skinny, little thing- she didn’t have much of chance now did she. In all reality, collecting Rhae was perhaps not something to boast of, it wasn’t terribly difficult. However, Potion wasn’t aware of the extent of the woman’s timid and trusting nature.
“Of course Rhae, by all means, have as much as you would like,” she did a warmer smile now, played the nurturer. She could play a part, become an actress at the drop of a hat and that is perhaps why she was perceived in so many different ways by so many eyes.
Potion stepped aside, pacing diagonally away as to show she meant for the other to have the food. She watched with pale lavender eyes, her eas swiveling forward at the sound of speech. Others? Oh yes, the others, let us not forget them.
“Why yes, my daughter, Ecco. She stays with me, lovely girl, she gives birth soon now I suspect. My Father and Mother will come down from the Mountain too, I know they would like you. They would care about where you were, who you were with. Does your other herd do that Rhae, do they care for you?” Surely they did, in some form, perhaps not in the same way that Potion’s family would care for the girl. Then again it all depended on who exactly she ran around with, Kirin had many children and he was not the only thing to go bump in the night.
