"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
He was edgy. He hadn't seen the child Lanora. She was gone. He hadn't found Josie. Although he was tempted to visit his only friend, he held to his duties and searched tirelessly for his dark beauties. He was responsible for them. How could they just disappear? It wasn't until months later of tracking and hunting for them that he forced himself to seek one not as difficult to find.
Like a shadow among this unending darkness of trees, he moved silently. He'd found her minutes ago, but all he could do was stand and stare. She was larger, wider. Still very pregnant. And yet, so beautiful in her odd, fiery way. There always seemed to be a stubborn stiffness in her spine, a defiant little gleam in her eyes. He didn't think he'd normally find those thing attractive, and yet here he was staring rudely despite knowing she belonged to another.
He wouldn't act on it, of course. If he was anything it was honorable. Often too much so.
Arrya.. he finally greeted smoothly, a familiar smirk quirking his lips. It always seemed to come out around her, as though ready for her insults and barbs. Even without them, he was never disappointed in their meetings.
Do you require some assistance rolling home? he smarted casually in a well-trained princely tone that would most likely sound entirely normal to anyone else. His dark eyes glittered with amusement as he waited for a reaction, but it wasn't long until his eyes slid down to her belly as it seemed to want to do every time he was near her.
He stared a little too intently. Was he waiting for the light show? He wasn't sure, he only knew he wanted to feel this time. Her child had been too small for him to share her moment of baby-fluttering. Josie hadn't been around to test that feeling-thing on, and he'd never been around any other pregnant mares.
Belatedly, he reluctantly ripped his eyes away and met her gaze again, that teasing smirk lighting his face again.
You've got a heart as loud as lions, so why let your voice be tamed?
I’m fucking enormous. I was really hoping it wouldn’t be so bad this time, you know? Just one baby (please for the love of all that is holy, just one baby) should mean I’d be smaller, right? That the pregnancy shouldn’t be quite as endless and aching and miserable? Well, yeah, see, turns out that having a healer around to soothe away the nausea and the aching bones and the discomfort and the stretching in ways I shouldn’t be stretching and the weird looseness of my joints and the holy shit weight of my giant goddamn belly dragging me down? Makes a bit of a difference.
Not that I’d say that out loud. Fuck no. Nooope nope nope. Far as anyone else is concerned, it makes not a damn bit of difference, and I’ll keep it that way ‘til the end of my days. The only reason I was surprised by it was because it’s been a damn long while since the last time, and I managed to forget about the shitty side of things some, to put it out of my head.
Really.
Well at least my little moonbeam is definitely growing big and strong, even if it’s getting fucking uncomfortable. Kid is stretching my insides so much I can sometimes see my sides bulging from the kicking and turning and constricted acrobatics it gets up to in there, and now and again the little twinkle star catches me in the ribs but good (okay, more often than I would like to admit, and sometimes those cutesy little nicknames come complete with gritted teeth and a deep breath to remind myself to be patient, and that I’ll get to evict the little moonbeam soon) and I swear I have to pee every five goddamn seconds, but at least the kid is clearly doing fine. Healthy, even if there isn’t a healer doing scans all the time to make sure of it. Kid is moving, kid is definitely growing, kid is doing fine.
Kid will be out soon.
Spring is here, after all, the sprouting of green things, new life, all that poetic shit or whatever. And even if the idea of squeezing a huge living thing out of my body without the help of someone able to watch my back and patch me up if things go south is borderline terrifying, well, it’ll be over soon. Little baby whatsit will be out and born and wandering around all on its own in a matter of hours if last time was any indication.
Maybe the twins got that from Gendry.
Fuck, the thought of this one already wandering all over the damn place is a bit much. You stay put, little moonbeam. No giving Mommy heart attacks ‘til you’re at least a few months old, you hear me? Of course it didn’t. Still, it walloped me but good in the side, hard enough that I could see a hoof. I glared at my belly and snorted. Apparently you got some of my sass. Let’s hope you got some of your daddy in there too.
“Arrya.” I turn, a little startled by the familiar voice calling my name. I hadn’t seen Kade around in a while, and to be super honest I was pretty distracted with that little one-sided conversation and didn’t hear him approaching. I’ve got the start of a nice, friendly smile on my face when the dumbass opens his stupid mouth again. “Do you require some assistance rolling home?” And just like that, the smile twists into a snarl.
“Well, I don’t know, precious, will you be requiring some assistance prying my hoof from your ass? Because it’s looking like a pretty appealing target just now.” Not that I could reach it in my present condition but let’s be real. That never stopped me from threatening anyone before. Maybe the baby would be willing to oblige, if I sidled up next to him. You’ve got Mommy’s back, right, moonbeam? Nice, solid kick square in the hindquarters? I bet you could get away with it, too.
His gaze slides to my belly and the baby gives an obliging kick. I’m not sure if the kid’s trying to play along or just saying hello, but I’ll take what I can get. “Or maybe the little one would like to do the job for me. C’mere and we’ll find out.”
You've got the light to fight the shadows, so stop hiding it away.
She almost had a smile, and oh how amusing it was making it twist into her little snarl. Then the ever-expected barb from his assassin-with-words. Never short for entertainment, was she? And always so bold and defiant with her speech. It was a double-edged blade for him in a way. It reminded him of his past station, but also sometimes allowed him to forget. Nobody could speak to him this way, and yet here she could, and did. It was his reminder that his previous life was over.
Sharp eyes catch movement, just the barest hint. Enough to leave him wondering if he'd imagined it. Arrya tells him perhaps the babe would like to go through with the punishment she so elegantly described to him, and invited him over to see for himself. He was still grinning at her, but it faltered in hesitation.
He never hesitated.
There was a little being in there. A little person. What if it didn't want his overbearing presence so close to it. Even babies know those thoughts, right? Then again, he wasn't about to pass up her invitation even if he thought it might be a half-hearted attempt to dissuade him.
He met her eyes with a spark of hope and uncertainty, taking a hesitant step forward. Would she really let him come near? Or maybe touch? His curiosity was strong, though, and he took the last steps slowly. Warm breaths mingled with the hair at her neck, so very close but only whiskers brushed against her.
Brown gaze eyed her belly warily. He wasn't really sure what to expect, and might have been a little nervous. Him, fierce warrior and, hell, even child snatcher. Nervous. Not that he'd ever admit any of those things, especially kidnapping, to her. Or anyone. Maybe little Moonbeam could sense it, and that was why the babe thrashed so mightily within her.
With another fleeting glance at her, he ghosted to her side and pressed the flat of his face carefully against her, feeling remarkably awkward. And then he sort of just..waited.
You've got a heart as loud as lions, so why let your voice be tamed?
...okay, well fine. So the dumbass makes up for his big stupid mouth by being kind of adorable. Whatever. I try, but I can’t even stay really all that annoyed when he lights up, all hesitant hopefulness, and creeps over to my side like I’m either going to give him a really great present or set off a fireball in his face and he can’t quite tell which.
Good.
Means I’m doing my job.
Those big brown eyes of his are wide and wary as he glances my way, then caaaarefully reaches out to touch my belly. And I might have just been mouthing off, but he really is being stupidly adorable, so what the hell? I don’t chase him away or bite him or anything, just let him stand there all awkwardly, his face pressed against my belly, waiting for the inevitable wriggle of little moonbeam there. “Heads up, you’re on the sharp hooves end at the moment. Kid might actually kick you in the face, or give it a good solid try.”
And just as I’m speaking, the little one sits up and takes notice, squirming a little and repositioning. “They like it when you talk to them,” I mention casually, even if it feels weird as hell to be encouraging him to talk to my comically oversized belly. It’d be a hell of an inappropriate suggestion if there weren’t a squirmy little person in there wiggling about and nudging away at my insides. But the baby gives a good bump in his direction, not quite a side-stretching kick, but hard enough that he should be able to feel it.
“That either means the kid likes you or baby’s got its mommy’s back and just picked the wrong end to aim at. That’s okay, little one, you can kick his ass when you get out. It’ll be easier to see which end’s which then. Sort of, at least.” I smirk and bump my shoulder against Kade playfully as my little moonbeam kicks again. “Atta baby, give it a go anyhow. Practice is good for those little legs of yours, even if Mommy’s insides are good and ready for it to be nap time instead.” The kid nudges in Kade’s direction again, more gently this time.
Yeah, yeah, Mommy sassed him enough, fine, maybe you’re right. I’ll play nice, okay, little moonbeam?
“Probably the kid likes you. You’re the only person other than its daddy who’s gotten close enough to kick in the face,” I tell him, laughing a little as it tries again to do just that. “And it’s definitely caught Rhory a solid time or twelve. So don’t go thinking just ‘cause you got kicked it’s grumping at you like me. That’s just all the vocabulary it’s got to work with right now.”
You've got the light to fight the shadows, so stop hiding it away.
Her voice hung around him like a gentle cloud, her warmth pressing into his face. She suggested they liked being talked to. His eyes widened imperceptibly. That sounded like a terrifying notion. As if to support the idea, a little tap kicked out at him. He retreated and stared, ears tipped forward.
He was so focused he could hardly keep track of what she was saying. It felt so odd to be here and feel a little one kicking from the inside. Would it have felt this way against Josie's side too? Was his own babe this strong? He would have liked to know it, but he'd failed in finding her. This would have to do instead, this little one that felt so precious.
Just as he replaced his head, it poked at him again. He grinned. Feisty little thing, just like somebody else he knew. Maybe it could sense that he'd called it precious. Wouldn't that be a trip. Arrya sort of confirmed that maybe the kid liked him. He wasn't sure it was true, but he liked to think it anyway. He could almost feel.. no, maybe not.
Now, now, little light. We can't be brash and cruel like mummy, he cooed, brushing his nose so lightly against her. You're going to come out here and play nice. He smiled and flashed a look at Arrya, inching closer and talking low and secret. And, you're going to like me too.
He pressed into her again briefly, an attempt to nuzzle that little one he already adored, then pulled back and stood straight again. He still felt a bit awkward, but there was one question that now ate at him. And he wasn't sure he should be asking it.
You've got a heart as loud as lions, so why let your voice be tamed?
Yep. He’s too damn cute. All awkward discomfort and fascination, jerking away when the baby kicks at him, then coming back for more. He even calls the baby ‘little light,’ which is right up there in adorableness with moonbeam. And it’d make me all squishy and melty and shit but for the bit that followed it. I snort at his playful admonition, nipping him even as he murmurs quietly at my belly. “No bad-mouthing me to the baby, now,” I grumble, chasing the nip with a playful nudge. “I want the kid to like me, after all. Ideally.”
I’m not really worried. I did a pretty good job the last time around, and baby’s big sisters like me well enough last I checked. Even if I haven’t seen them in fucking forever. Still trying not to worry too hard about that little fact, okay? No sign of them since the world went and devoured itself, and it’s been a good long while since then. Long enough for me to make a whole person, almost.
They’re okay. I hope. God, I hope.
There’s not much I can do other than keep looking. Like I’ve been doing for fucking years. But any further searching is gonna have to wait ‘til I can waddle farther than the edge of the forest. When baby’s got a few months on it, we can go on little adventures together looking for its big sisters. Well, exploring and playing while Mommy keeps an eye out for anybody dressed up in Maul and Anni’s odd tortoiseshell coloring.
Aww, adventures with baby! Fine, okay, I actually do get a little mushy over that thought, all dopey grin and soft eyes and shit. Kade straightens up, apparently finished fussing over the baby for the moment. At least to the extent that he doesn’t have his face pressed up against my belly anymore. “How much longer?” he asks, and I tilt my head, wondering the same myself.
“Not long. Soon as baby decides it’s ready to come out and meet us, really. Feel like it’s been years already, but little moonbeam seems content to take its sweet time. Tucked up all cozy and warm, not quite ready to wake up yet, huh, baby? I know how that goes. Daddy’s nice and cozy warm too though. There’ll be plenty of cuddles waiting for you when you come out, promise.” I would reach around to nuzzle the baby, but that is way too much work and I don’t think I can bend that way anymore. Instead I send a pointed look Kade’s way and nod in baby’s general direction. “Right? No shortage of snuggles and coziness out here, little one. So feel free to come out any time now.”
Instead, baby shifted a little just like I do when I’m burrowing into Rhory’s side and grumbling for five more minutes of cozy time. Ha. Atta baby. I can just see a teeny little colt looking just like his daddy, curled up between us and blinking baby blue eyes all soft and pleading-like. No way we’ll be able to resist that kind of cuteness. Or a teeny little snugglebug of a girl, could be another girl. Maybe bay and spotty, a cute little combination of me and Rhory. “Mommy can’t wait to meet you, little one. But it’s okay. Take as long as you need.”
The world’s a big, scary place, and once the kid is out I won’t be able to protect it from all of that, not like I can now. So even if I’m a little cranky, even if it’s uncomfortable as fuck and I’m ready to be done feeling like a goddamn elephant, even if I’m sick to death of the constant need to pee (dammit, bladder, not now, give me five fucking minutes, okay?) and would really like my body to feel like mine again? At least I know where one kid is. And at least I know that one’s relatively safe.
I don’t even notice the way I lean against Kade, my shoulders drooping, my brow furrowed. I just close my eyes and hope my babies are okay. This one can take its sweet time, I’m okay with that. “Oh hey, what about you?” I bump my shoulder against him again, seizing on the distraction to drag myself out of my little funk. “How’s your mysterious lady? You should fill me in, I don’t want to be an ass and not have any idea who she is when I finally meet her.”
You've got the light to fight the shadows, so stop hiding it away.
11-25-2016, 12:00 AM (This post was last modified: 11-25-2016, 12:01 AM by Akkadian.)
Not long, she said. Not long. That was good.
...Why was that good?
He listened closely as she spoke; to him, to the little being taking up residence within her. It was comforting somehow to see her so blissful and relaxed. He hoped he'd get the chance to see Josie that way too one day. If she was still around..
When she finally drew quiet, she slumped against him a little. He almost shied away, still not comfortable with being so close to someone, but he was fairly relaxed with her, and besides which the furrow in her brow caught his attention. It wasn't the first time she'd worn one when getting lost in thought after talking about the baby. Something kept disturbing her, and it was beginning to eat at him not knowing what it was.
She nudged his shoulder and asked after his..lady, and he let the question distract his worries away from her. For now.
A shy half-smile almost crept up his lips, thinking of sweet Josie carrying his unborn babe, but he swiped it away. She isn't- he paused, a little tense. She wasn't really his but there didn't seem to be any reason he should clarify that. He restarted though.
Her name is Josie. She is who I brought with me to your Sylva. I haven't been able to find her again for a while now though. His voice trailed off, wondering if he should try searching again. He would need to soon, find her and check on her. An amused little smirk found its way to his lips as he glanced over her rounded figure.
She might need assistance rolling around too, you know. Maybe you could teach her a thing or two about that.
You've got a heart as loud as lions, so why let your voice be tamed?
Well isn’t that interesting. She isn’t. I tilt my head, studying him for a moment. Pretty sure the rest of that sentence was ‘my lady,’ ‘cause it’s the only thing I said about her that he could’ve been protesting. Unless he took umbrage to the term mysterious. I shrug and let it go, though. If he doesn’t want to talk about it, he doesn’t have to. Relationships are complicated, whether they’re romantic or otherwise.
Ah, well and he hasn’t been able to find her. I nod, shoulder bumping him sympathetically. “I know how that goes. My girls are missing, have been since the whole world abruptly changing thing, and no sign of them. And their dad too, though I mean.” I shrug, not really sure where to start with that or how much to go into. I think I told him enough a while back that he probably gets the gist? And if he doesn’t, well, it’s whatever. Not worth going into again. Nothing’s changed. Nothing’s going to. And I moved on.
Little moonbeam squirms a bit, like it’s agreeing or reassuring me or something, and I smile a little. Thanks, baby. “She sounds nice, though. Or. Really, you didn’t tell me anything about her, so that was just polite bullshit. Sorry. Whatever, if I meet her I’ll do my best to be nice. As you’ve probably noticed, it doesn’t exactly come naturally to me.” I roll my eyes and snort at the idea; friends aren’t exactly my strong suit, and I’ve got a track record of being worse at interacting with other women than I am with men.
Hell, at least I don’t break women’s hearts and torture them for years like I did Rhory. Ugh, poor Rhory put up with so much shit from me. I still have no idea what he sees in me, but I’ll take it - he’s a damn good man, and I’m lucky he loves me so much. We both are, aren’t we kiddo? Otherwise you wouldn’t exist, and I think that’s a win for all three of us, huh?
Well and then dummy here opens his big stupid mouth again, and I snort and narrow my eyes at him. “You know this state is temporary, right? The baby comes out, my body goes mostly back to normal, and then the only thing rolling will be your head, princess.”
You've got the light to fight the shadows, so stop hiding it away.
For a moment, she almost scrutinized him. Then it was gone as she bumped him with her shoulder. She did that sometimes, the bumping thing. She couldn't realize how attuned to touch he was due to the culture of his previous life. If it was not within battle, then any contact could be considered intimate. Far too intimate for the two of them. But it was overdue to let go of the past. At least some parts of it.
Arrya told him Josie sounded nice, then skittered off in those little fumbling rants that she does. He listened in quiet amusement, enjoying how very different she was to anything he had known. Josie was the opposite. She was still strong, but she was also soft and kind. Her bite was only vicious when it needed to be. Arrya, on the other hand, had a thorn in almost anything she said and to hell with anyone who couldn't take it.
She continued with an offer to at least try to be nice with Josie should they ever meet. He nearly chuckled, but held it in behind another little smirk. She was so strange, so funny. So different.
He wondered if her child would be the same, or if perhaps it would take after the sire who had thus far sounded as soft and kind as his Josie. Gentle beings who called to his heart for protection without saying anything and, lately, without even wanting it. He was used to ignoring those protests though, well accustomed to a huffy prince demanding his own brother leave his side knowing that Akkadian would not. Could not. Until the day he did, and now was cursed to regret it for the rest of his life.
She woke him from his dark thoughts, claiming her globule figure was only a temporary affliction, and she'd soon return to her ass-whoopin' self fully prepared to roll his head. He did chuckle then, transforming the hard, pinched expression that had taken over him into something she was more used to. Something light and amused, as though he was as carefree and laid-back as he once was so long ago.
He clucked his tongue at her in playful rebuke. You wouldn't want to harm poor Uncle Kade, now would you, he teased her with a dramatic pout.
That baby is going to love me, you know. He said it with a smile, bright eyes, and a boyish tilt to his head, but the words settled heavily between them. Solid and weighty, they pressed down on his spine and perhaps only time could tell them if it were truth. And whether it would be a good thing. Or bad.
You've got a heart as loud as lions, so why let your voice be tamed?
Uncle Kade. Oh shit, hello hormones. My eyes get all watery and my stupid lower lip gets all trembly and god dammit why? Ugh, crying is the worst, and it’s so fucking stupid, and I still can’t quite seem to get myself under control. “Uncle?” I ask, and my voice is all squishy and mushy and ridiculous. Because that’s kind of the sweetest damn thing. I don’t have any family to give the baby, and neither does Rhory. And that’s weighed on me...kind of a lot, actually. I don’t want a lonely childhood for my little moonbeam, but I haven’t exactly been having the best of luck trying to fix it either.
Must be my charming personality.
Ugh, I hate the sappy, watery smile on my face as I look up at him - why are all the guys I known stupidly tall? Someday I’ll have a friend my height. Well, or at least not six feet taller than I am. Whatever. God damn, the kid’s probably gonna outgrow me too, with as tall as Rhory is. Baby’s big sisters sure did, anyhow. Right, focus, stupid sappy smile and all. “I’d...I’d like that. If you want. Little squish here doesn’t have a whole lot of family, and growing up like that can be really lonely. I don’t want that for my kid.”
He’s being playful when he says this baby’s gonna love him, but I, being all damn mushy and shit right now out of fucking nowhere, rub my face against his shoulder, drying my stupid dumb leaky eyes in the process. “Probably will, yeah. You’d better hope the kid takes after its dad. Though I’m not gonna lie, now I kind of hope it keeps a bit of its momma’s sass.” That smile gets a little less sappy, turns into something of a devious smirk. I don’t know why the idea’s so damn funny, but it is.
And thank god, too, because it chases away the stupid squishy teary-eyed shit. “Though I mean. You seem to like my smart mouth well enough. Maybe that’d be a point in the kid’s favor, huh, precious?”
You've got the light to fight the shadows, so stop hiding it away.
