10-28-2016, 10:58 AM
Look, the Meadow isn’t exactly my favorite place in the world, okay? I’ve got a lot of shitty memories here, and it’s not somewhere I exactly want my kid to spend a lot of time. Any of them, but god knows I’ve got no control over what the older two do, if they’re even fucking alive anymore. I miss you, girls. Shit. Someday, okay? Someday I’ll know what happened, whether they made it through world’s end safe and sound. For now all I can do is hope. And look around in one of the only places that made it through the reckoning.
I fucking hate being here, but I’d do anything for my girls. And for the kid I’m carrying, girl or boy. Oh my god a little boy that looks like Rhory, all sweet blue eyes and lovely spots and talllll but damn well not ‘til he’s evicted from my insides. Or a stompy little girl with my brown eyes and my sass, though I can’t imagine any kid of Rhory’s being half as much of a smartass as I’ve been known to be. I’ll love you like crazy, sass or no, okay, baby? Not that the little thing can hear me at this point. Or, well, ever, not when I’m just thinking the words in my head. I’m not even visibly pregnant yet, it’d look pretty crazy if I were staring at my belly and talking to myself already.
Not that crazy’s ever stopped me before.
Whatever, not the point. I’m looking for my little baby’s big sisters. I’ve been looking for them since the world fell apart, and I’ve been multi-tasking lately looking for a home for me and baby and baby’s unbelievably wonderful daddy and looking for any trace of tortoiseshell girls at the same time. But so far, no trace. Not even a flash of Anni’s fiery pattern or Maul’s broader strokes of color, a little more subdued and less exuberant than the patterns painting Anni’s skin. The Meadow sure as hell isn’t going to be home, but I’d hoped...well, I’d hoped maybe my girls had wandered in looking for me.
They’d know better, though, than to try the Meadow.
I let out a heavy sigh, looking around one last time in the opes of finding my girls even after I’ve tried to give it up for today. They’re not here. They’re not. Even if I want them to be, even if I wish and hope and fucking pray for it. The Meadow’s the damn worst, and I should’ve known nothing good would come from being here. Sighing, I turn to leave, trudging back the way I came, my head heavy with the weight of missing my girls, of not knowing what’s happened to them or if they’re safe.. I’m gonna need a hell of a cuddle with my Lionheart before I set out again. And when I do, I’m damn well going to find our new home.
I fucking hate being here, but I’d do anything for my girls. And for the kid I’m carrying, girl or boy. Oh my god a little boy that looks like Rhory, all sweet blue eyes and lovely spots and talllll but damn well not ‘til he’s evicted from my insides. Or a stompy little girl with my brown eyes and my sass, though I can’t imagine any kid of Rhory’s being half as much of a smartass as I’ve been known to be. I’ll love you like crazy, sass or no, okay, baby? Not that the little thing can hear me at this point. Or, well, ever, not when I’m just thinking the words in my head. I’m not even visibly pregnant yet, it’d look pretty crazy if I were staring at my belly and talking to myself already.
Not that crazy’s ever stopped me before.
Whatever, not the point. I’m looking for my little baby’s big sisters. I’ve been looking for them since the world fell apart, and I’ve been multi-tasking lately looking for a home for me and baby and baby’s unbelievably wonderful daddy and looking for any trace of tortoiseshell girls at the same time. But so far, no trace. Not even a flash of Anni’s fiery pattern or Maul’s broader strokes of color, a little more subdued and less exuberant than the patterns painting Anni’s skin. The Meadow sure as hell isn’t going to be home, but I’d hoped...well, I’d hoped maybe my girls had wandered in looking for me.
They’d know better, though, than to try the Meadow.
I let out a heavy sigh, looking around one last time in the opes of finding my girls even after I’ve tried to give it up for today. They’re not here. They’re not. Even if I want them to be, even if I wish and hope and fucking pray for it. The Meadow’s the damn worst, and I should’ve known nothing good would come from being here. Sighing, I turn to leave, trudging back the way I came, my head heavy with the weight of missing my girls, of not knowing what’s happened to them or if they’re safe.. I’m gonna need a hell of a cuddle with my Lionheart before I set out again. And when I do, I’m damn well going to find our new home.