"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
09-17-2016, 06:27 PM (This post was last modified: 09-17-2016, 06:29 PM by Raeg'n.)
Raeg'n
Raeg'n
Her steps were confident as she walked boldly through the meadow. So many others floated about, some happy, some sad. Her own little face was emotionless, though sorrow gripped her in a tight embrace. A little fear snaked through her veins.
She remembered her mother clearly, so glorious and beautiful, a gentle and loving chestnut. Her touch was always sweet and caring, her voice so soothing.
She looked nothing like her. Her coat was a deep navy blue, nearly black in the fading light of early evening. Her infant mane and tail flared with a fiery orange, battling the setting sun in saturation.
Deep down, she knew she wouldn't find her mother. It didn't stop her from trying as her eyes casually lit to faces of any reddish bodies around. She'd done this all day.
Exhausted and finally relenting, she slowed her steps. Her head did not bow down in sadness, and tears did not fall. The depression remained, but was well-hidden. She steeled her emotions, forcing herself to accept her situation so she could move on. Her breath hitched and she felt moisture fill her eyes. Her chest tightened. Mother was gone.. No!
Glaring furiously at the ground, she pulled herself together. Her chin lifted, meeting any curious gaze evenly. A child so young and on their own surely gained the attention of a few, but they all seemed to look away at the challenge in her eyes.
Well do I know the look of a child alone, desperately searching for someone to care even a little bit. Trying just as hard for it not to matter. Trying to put on a brave face and pretend everything’s fine, when inside you’re trying not to fall apart. I wore that face, even if only for a little while. So when, in the course of my evening wander through the meadow, I see that all too familiar look on the face of a young girl, I stop and watch her.
Dejection, as her shoulders slump and her breath catches, and her eyes well up just a little bit. Stubborn determination, her jaw setting, her chin raising, a fierce light in her amber eyes daring anyone to call her out on that moment of weakness.
Don’t worry, honey. I would never. I understand far too well.
Everyone else turns away, as they always seem to do when the innocent suffer right under their noses. But I was lucky enough to find someone who wouldn’t look away from my pain. And it’s only right that I do the same for her. So when the girl looks my way, those lovely eyes so defiant, hiding hurt beneath far too familiar armor, I hold her gaze. And then I walk over, the corners of my lips softening and curling just a little bit upward in a hint of a friendly smile. “Hey there. I’m Lilitha. Who are you?”
The one holds her stare and steps forward. In an odd sort of way, her color matched Raeg'n's. She was a rich black, where Raeg'n was a deep, dark navy -close enough. And both their hair seemed bright infernos in the fading light. Raeg'n tilted her head just a tad, curious. When others balked, the girl had come forth. She'd always thought her own boldness would condemn her to friendships only with males, but just maybe other females could keep up.
She squared up to the girl as Lilitha greeted her and introduced herself. Raeg'n, she said shortly. She gestured to the girl's mane with a jerky nod of her chin, Nice hair. She shifted a little awkwardly, not really sure what she'd do with the next few minutes of her time, much less the rest of her life. She'd need a home to start.
Her eyes glanced around briefly before coming back to her. You live here or something? If so, maybe that meant she could live here too. She supposed that should probably be her first step after realizing she was alone in the world now, right?
The girl tilts her head at me, her amber eyes studying me, roving my body and noting the similarities and the differences. I like the way she squares her shoulders and stares, bold and brave even though she’s tiny and alone. “It’s nice to meet you, Raeg’n. And I like your hair too, and your coat. Kind of like mine, but brighter, and our eyes are close too.” I tilt my head too for a moment, wondering what her mother looks like, and how she comes to be all alone so little. So very like me.
But what are the odds her mom’s red and gold and utterly indifferent to another newborn? I shrug off the feeling as just a whole lot of empathy for a girl in a far too familiar situation, and I smile at the girl who could easily be my sister. What a weird thought. Hey, I wonder if my mother had any kids before me. Anyone could be my blood and I’d never know it, how utterly bizarre. But I tuck the thought away for later, because now’s a time for me and Raeg’n to get to know each other.
“Not exactly,” I answer when she asks if I live in the forest. “Though I suppose as good as. My family lives in Tephra, which is this really pretty forest not too far from here actually. I just can’t be there. Not because of them, they’re quite lovely. Especially my daddy, he’s maybe my favorite person in the whole world. Found me when I was younger than you are even, if not by much, adopted me, and took me home to live with him back before the whole world changed and all. But well, our goddess isn’t exactly all sunshine and rainbows, and we clashed a bit, and she banned me from entering my family’s homeland. So. Here I wander.”
I shrug, playing it off as not a big deal even if it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, living without my daddy around all the time. But he has a whole land to take care of and protect, and lots of other kids, and his wife, and everyone depending on him to be there for them. One little girl with feet cursed to wander can only weigh so hard against all of that. I’d never ask him to give them all up just to keep me company when I’m the one who got myself into this. “What about you?”
Lilitha comments on their similarities in appearance, almost speaking her own thoughts on the matter. They were different, but also the same. It was a curious thing, and Raeg'n found a little comfort in it. Perhaps their likenesses eased the sense of solitude slowly creeping into her. Her mother had been the only person she knew, and "alone" almost didn't quite explain the emptiness gradually expanding within her little body.
She says she doesn't live here, and slips into a monologue about her life, her background. Raeg'n listens silently, eyes intent on the girl as she describes her home that she cannot return to, and a daddy she clearly adores. Her own face mirrors a sadness that Lilitha could not return to this place she called home, due to her own actions, she admits openly. Raeg'n was sure if she'd had a home or family and been told she could not return to it, she'd be taking it at least a good bit harder than the darker filly was.
As it was, all she had in memory was a mother with sweet nurturing caresses and kindness in her voice. The realization she might not ever have that again was sobering, and she supposed she'd have to learn to be super tough like Lilitha.
"What about you," she asked. Raeg'n didn't hesitate to answer, there was no use denying her obvious misfortune, and who knows, maybe in Lilitha's slightly elder wisdom she would have some suggestions for her.
I lost my mom on the mountain. I waited for her, but she never showed. She grimaced at the memory. Something must have happened to keep her dam from her, the woman had been such a caring soul and Raeg'n couldn't imagine she'd choose to abandon her. So, I came here, but I guess finding safety or something would probably do better... but I don't really know how.
She was learning to hate how helpless and insecure she felt, and was determined to find out how to overcome it and squash it for good.
The girl hangs on my every word, quiet intensity the way she watches me while I tell her about myself and the home I can’t reach. And again, I feel the strange kinship between us, lost and alone so young. And when it’s her turn, I listen, nodding solemnly as she tells me of her mother, lost on the Mountain. “Safety would be a good idea, yeah. It’s hard being alone in the world, and I think it’s something you sort of luck into, you know? Or at least I did. I could have bumped into anyone after leaving my mom, but I bumped into Daddy Romek. And I couldn’t have asked for better.”
I pause, considering. I’m not really equipped to take care of a little girl, or rather to help her survive while she learns to take care of herself. But Daddy would be. And he and his lady just had the twins. Maybe his Mari could spare a little milk, or knows someone who can? And even if not, he managed with me just fine. “I’ve maybe got one tip, yeah,” I say casually, trying not to put too much pressure on the girl or make the idea sound like a big deal. “There’s loads of room in Taiga. And my daddy’s got a history of adopting little ones who could use some help. I can’t go there, but I can get you close. If you like, I’m sure he’d be happy to make a little room for you, or to find someone who could if for any reason he can’t.”
