"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
They are all familiar with the Gates; this has been their home for years, some even decades. It ignites a flame of uncertainty in Cerva. Here, she is still an outsider even if her mind is slowly beginning to accept this new change. This is home and yet her memories cling desperately to the Valley as though she has something to return to there. Little does she know that father is king, but even then, he has already found someone else to spend those lonely nights with. Noori is but a figment of the past to him now which means Cerva must be as well.
She has always lacked a sense of belonging despite being raised a princess in a kingdom. There, her parents flourished together, and they were something far greater than she could ever be. In the Valley she was drowning in their shadows and so she still felt uncomfortable even then. The meadow offered little satisfaction; it played as a droning reminder of how lost and forgotten she truly was. It’s only now, here in the Gates, that she tries to reach out and change her own stars. No, she will never exceed mother or father’s greatness, but at least she can try to pursue happiness for the first time in her life.
There’s hope, she often tells herself before closing her eyes for the night.
With having strangers surrounding her, however, she is easily deterred. The underground den just outside of the border calls to her and lulls her back, but she resists. Her heart patters against her chest as her nutmeg eyes search for someone – anyone – to make into something more than a stranger. Their bloods are seemingly still at a boil from the heated discussion days prior and so she eludes most until she finds herself in front of him (who he is, she doesn’t know). Her blind wandering led her here and she hesitates when her gaze lifts to his. ”Hello,” she says delicately with a shift of her body, failing to mask her shyness, ”I’m Cerva.” Her lips purse into a tight line and then, as a second thought, she adds, ”I’m new here.” As though that will ease the situation.
Cerva
[because I don't think we've ever played together ]
It was not an extraordinary day. It was not even a particularly beautiful day, but it still brought great peace to his spirit. Sahm was calmly munching on a few greens that had managed to sprout beside two shading trees. Sahm often stayed in the trees as to better disappear. He rarely wished to be seen unless it was him who was initiating the interaction. Sahm wasn’t confidant yet in just about anything. Though he was growing stronger with conviction, and that was helping him leave his shell more often.
The sweet smells lingered on his nose once he lifted his head. His teeth continued to grind the leftover bits of grass. Sahm’s eyes were set forward along with his ears. He munched and daydreamed.
Soon the crunch of leaves brought him to attention, and he quickly swung his head and adjusted his body to better observe the horse that had stumbled upon him. He inspected her with gentle eyes and noted her femininity, soft voice, and delicate curves. Sahm smiled. ”Hello” He simply retorted. ”It is a pleasure Cerva, I am Sahm” He nodded his head as his heart rate began to accelerate. ”Ah yes…” He chortled. ”Well welcome, it is always refreshing to see new faces.”especially such beautiful ones he wished to add on, but once again Sahm wasn’t nearly that confident. He lowered his gaze for a brief moment, his smile unable to slip from his lips. ”What has brought you here?”
sahm the inexperienced, quiet magician of the gates
Beautiful? Cerva would laugh if she heard the term used to describe herself. It isn’t that she finds herself ugly, but she considers herself plain especially when she reflects back to mother. She would never amount to Noori, no, not even to her father’s greatness. It would be easy for her to be lost in a crowd of faces, she has mused before during a long, lonely night. While her siblings were vivacious and lively, determined even, Cerva was reclusive and mostly kept to herself where she could never find herself disappointed or insulted. Where there was no one to criticize her there was no way that she could allow herself to be hurt, or so she told herself.
Unfortunately, solitude eats away at the soul after so long. The silence was beginning to feel like needles prickling her skin, gradually burying deeper and deeper. It became uncomfortable, unwanted, and so she finally eased herself from her hibernation and forced herself back into a kingdom and back into the company of others. Not having confidence, like Sahm, she has been struggling, but still she tries.
Underneath his gaze she shifts from side to side as though it will simmer the uneasiness of having a conversation with a stranger. Her jaws clench together then releases periodically while he looks at her, but once he speaks, his voice filling her ears, she smiles. A relieved breath rolls through her like the ocean’s tide and her muscles quickly become less rigid. ”It’s a pleasure to meet you,” her voice is uplifting and sincere, her nutmeg eyes just a little brighter. ”I’ve just been wandering, to tell you the truth. I had never been here before so it’s quite a lot to take in,” she glances over her shoulder for a moment to see the rolling hills and flowered fields. It’s a beautiful place. Her head turns to look at Sahm again as she considers his question carefully as though it’s a test to pass.
What can she say?
Many things.
What should she say?
Perhaps not as much as she would like.
”I’m looking for a home and to find something as remotely close to a functional kingdom family as I can,” she chuckles knowing well how no one can predict how dysfunctional of a family she stems from.
]
