"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
I'm so excited, delighted. I won't deny it or fight it.
It had been days since she had last shown herself in her normal form. During a period that Gryffen had been away – probably to destroy somebody else’s life, or so she assumes – she had sneaked away from the other mares. Honestly, she felt bad for Miku, blaming herself that she left Zeik’s other herdmare alone like that, but it hadn’t stopped her. She had sneaked up hill, deeper into the pine tree forest, before stopping at a place that seemed far away enough from the other mares. There she had shifted. She had changed her blue horse form for that of a small bluebird. The pale stallion was gifted with wings himself too, but that didn’t mean he would be able to follow her when she hid high up in the trees. She was safe from him here, or, for a while at least.
For days Felinae had only been able to eat the things real birds normally eat. Things like berries, seeds and insects. And she had enough of them. She felt nauseous and only the thought of such dinner made her stomach upset. She tries to ignore the pain of an empty stomach, fighting her desire to have a normal meal. That would mean she had to shift back to her horse form and become within Gryffen’s reach again. She’s afraid of the pale stallion, afraid of the look within his red eyes, afraid of what he can do to her. She wants to go back to Zeik, who gave her a secured feeling, who gave her a home when nobody else did. And yet she’s stuck here.
As the wind carries her small body forward she looks for a safe place to land. She doesn’t want to shift in an open place, afraid that he might see her, but she also needs room for her form to grow. In the end she settles for a small clearing in the forest of pine trees, ruffling her wings before folding them against her small form. And then she changes. Within seconds the bluebird is gone and instead there stands a cobalt blue roan mare. Her coat has thicken again, since the temperature in the mountains was lower than it was at home. Snorting softly she starts walking, feeling a little stiff from the lack of movement her limbs had, but soon she lowers her muzzle towards the ground, searching for something eatable on the rocky grond.
10-10-2015, 06:46 PM (This post was last modified: 10-10-2015, 06:51 PM by Minette.)
la jeune fille marquée
Minette is weary, broken down. There is a pit of anxiety in her stomach most days that nothing can quite relieve. Depression overtakes her with a suddenness that startles her, but if she waits long enough, she no longer cares. Tears trickle from her eyes as easily as spring showers and her dreams are haunted. She dreams of teeth and death and fire. Her brain torments her with images of suppurating flesh, peeled back by hooked claws as easily as a grape is cut in two.
And the physical pain; it is a constant reminder that she is not okay, will never be okay. Her joints ache in a constant ebb and flow, balmed only by time spent in the frozen creeks. A piece of her heart is frozen, as well, cold and lost. It will never be saved.
She scolds herself relentlessly. She shouldn't wake in a cold terror, eyes wild and hooves running before her brain registers the movement. She shouldn't shy away from the touch of another on her skin. All is well in her world. Her horned son is growing strong. Her stallion is attentive but not overbearing. Minette barely has time to truly be alone, although she constantly feels lonely.
A raven flies near. Rage explodes in her chest, hot and bitter and she lashes out at the black bird, her teeth snapping together audibly near its wings. She is not sure who is more startled. The pale gray mare stops in her tracks and takes a step backward, instantly abashed. The ravens screech angrily at her. Minette turns and runs.
The pines cluster into a variety of clearings, each giving an illusion of privacy. Minette generally avoids them because the massive trees remind her of the grizzly bear who lumbered forth and tore her to pieces. She will never be at ease amongst them again (if ever she was), but distress sends her cantering their way, and there a sound catches her ear. It a snuffling noise, someone searching, and Minette remembers that she is no longer the only mare in the mountain herd. Some days ago Gryffen had ushered in two females, but the pale gray mare had not approached them. Whether out of dread or self-preservation, she did not know. It was better not to analyze it.
The bright blue mare lurches forward, stiff and awkward. A pang of true empathy flutters through Minette's heart. She knows pain.
“You might try the patch of purple thistle to your right, if you're hungry. It grows well in the mountains.” Minette is surprised to hear herself talking, her voice relatively normal. “I am Minette.”
She does not mention her status as lead mare. That matters more to Gryffen than to her, and Minette would not exert power over anyone no matter how much she is given.
She wonders if she looks strange to this beautiful blue mare. Minette has retained her delicate form and her soft curves through two pregnancies; she, too, is lovely, but her skin is marred with scars. Most notably, the mare sports a jagged circle and star brand on her left haunch. Her eyes are brown and expressive, filled with acceptance, but not peace.
I'm so excited, delighted. I won't deny it or fight it.
Until Gryffen had come to take her away from the only home and family she had ever known nothing bad had ever happened to her. Sure she had had some disagreements and fights with her mother and she had been hurt when she found out that her father was nowhere to be found, but it was nothing compared with the evil and danger of life. Therefor Felinae is unaware – maybe because she is a little too naïve – of the dangers that can lurk in the shadow of the trees.
Where the springy ground of the misty lands had been easy on the joints, the rocky ground of the mountains absolutely weren’t. With every step a shock travels through her stiff joints and the dark blue mare silently curses herself for being so stupid. She should’ve known what the effects were if she stayed in her bird form too long, after all, it wasn’t the first time she made that mistake. On top of that there was an aching feeling on her back, right there were her wings would have been if this form supported them too. In an attempt to get rid of the feeling she rolls her shoulder. A soft groan is the result of that.
Felinae’s head jerks up as she hears the voice of a mare. Her eyes are widened in surprise and she cannot stop the loud snort. The first thought that flashes through her mind is that the grey mare must have seen her change. And this was one of Gryffen’s mares, one that might be loyal to him, someone who would tell her secret to the winged pale stallion. It takes the young bluish girl a few seconds to realise what she had said and somewhat flustered she lowers her head towards the ground as she dips her head. ”My name is … Felinae” she replies, wondering for a few seconds if she should give Miku’s name or her own.
Curious yet carefully she studies the grey mare. She seems still young, but at the same time she is already scarred by life. Especially the mark on her on her left side seems strange and unlike Feli’s strange cobalt blue color the brand seems unnatural. Even though the feeling of pain is something quite unfamiliar to her, she can only imagine how much it would have hurt. It are Minette’s eyes that calm her the most, her gaze offers no hostility.
”Thank you..” the blue mare mumbles softly, but her voice is still loud enough to be heard clearly, referring to Minette’s instructions on where to find food. Even though the summer has begun she had barely seen any sunlight since she had arrived at the place. Other lands would offer plenty of food right now, but the mountains didn’t seem to do so. Felinae doesn’t walk away, instead she finds comfort in Minette’s appearance, the grey mare seemed nice enough to care about her wellbeing, unlike Gryffen to who she belonged.
10-11-2015, 09:47 AM (This post was last modified: 10-11-2015, 09:50 AM by Minette.)
la jeune fille marquée
Minette has no desire to snitch. Although she has come to trust and even care for Gryffen, she has never been one to report on others. This is not true of all the residents of the mountains, however and before the mare can introduce herself, Minette adds a warning.
“The ravens-” She starts to speak, stops and clears her throat, and continues with a rueful look. Her voice is rarely in use. Gryffen is not chatty, and Leck prefers silence. “The ravens... they spy.”
It is all she will say aloud of the ravens. She owes many of her scars to their interference. Even now the large black birds are settling in the branches of the pines above the mares. Minette's hatred, a raging fire, burns through her for an intense moment before fading away. It would be difficult to say that anger had ever been shining in her now sympathetic brown-eyed gaze.
“Felinae. That is beautiful.” Minette smiles then, a genuine smile and a rare one. Her features soften and the worry that has clouded her face clears away. “It is a pleasure to meet you.”
Despite the circumstances, she is sincere. At her core there is a longing for female companionship, for the softer and more tender sex.
She wants to assure the blue mare that Gryffen may be rough but he is not ireedemable. She knows that Felinae will not believe her. At time she has trouble believing it herself and in any case, Gryffen's kindness must be something that others discover for themselves. Minette has seen flashes in him of vulnerability and pain and a desire to change. She does not know his act is for show, engineered towards his final act to break her. The pale gray mare has never contemplated that he could be deceptive in that way. Cruel and demanding, but not creative. And he has chosen his target well. Minette wants desperately to believe that the scars of the past are being changed into something for the better.
Her heart goes out to the young mare. Minette does not know the situation from which she came, but being stolen from one's home is far from desirable. The gray mare finds herself curious about Felinae's past, although she does not ask. Well enough does she know that the past can be a haunting subject.
“The sun never really shines well here,” Minette offers gently as the pair forage. She speaks apologetically, as if someone had arrived in her home before she had time to dust. The scarred gray mare has grown used to the mists of the mountain. The cold chill that is there even through the hottest of summer days once tormented her as well, although in recent days it is a balm to her aching joints.
Minette dips her head to graze, patient. She will not push or probe, but she is a naturally companionable ear. Felinae needs time and Minette knows that for better or worse, there will be plenty of that. Gryffen is jealous of his herd. The white stallion will let none of them go as long as he draws breath.
I'm so excited, delighted. I won't deny it or fight it.
The smile on her face falls and a blank expression appears before it she panics. The anxiousness comes back with full force and she cannot stop herself from glancing up. She had seen many ravens around and the fact that they were currently gathering high up in the pine trees above them only confirmed Minette’s words. Her breath stocks and nostrils flare and soon Felinae moves around on the rocky ground, dancing on her place as she feels too nervous to stand still. ”They know..” she mumbles underneath her breath, before she freezes and looks at Minette in pure terror. ”Hé knows” she concludes softly.
The bluish girl had honestly thought that this was the way to hide from Gryffen, to change her form in one he wouldn’t recognize – all though her cobalt blue roan coat matched the bluebird’s blue. He knew about her other form and one single raven would easily overpower her. It would easily follow her up in the trees and if necessary it would even be able to drag her ass back to the pale stallion. And when she was in her horse form the male himself would be able to cut her flight short, as his wings could carry his body much faster forward than her own four legs could. Felinae felt her world crumble, suddenly feeling so vulnerable.
She cannot stop herself from moving closer to Minette, desperate for the gray mare’s comfort even though they barely knew each other. The air around the mare felt good, comfortable, and still being this naïve she didn’t question her instinct. Yet it isn’t enough for Felinae. Carefully she reaches out, curving her neck as it stretched, aiming to press her nose gently against Minette’s shoulder. That was if the gray mare would let her and therefor she carefully studies her companion. ”Thank you..” she mutters again, forcing a small smile upon her lips. ”Thank you for being here.. You are truely kind.”
Her gaze travels up towards the sky, only spotting the branches of the pine trees and thick mist that blocked most of the sunlight. ”I miss the sun..” she softly replies. Felinae keeps looking up for a few moments longer before lowering het muzzle towards the ground again, her stomach was still aching and complaining about the lack of food. ”My home is also misty, but it’s different. The waterfalls create it and even though it’s humid, it isn’t as… haunting as here..” She cannot stop herself from speaking, wanting to fill the silence and grow closer to Minette. She had felt so lonely before Zeik found her and she now gladly accepted Minette to drive away the loneliness from the last few days.
Minette knows about secrets, and the anguish and fear that comes with carrying one in the mountain herd. Her daughter's escape had been one until Gryffen's raven spies reported it to the white wolf. And now her healing by fire, by heat, is a secret she holds close to her heart. It may be futile. The ravens are everywhere. But until Gryffen speaks of it, the pale gray mare will not. Unlike in past days, Minette's secret is not one she holds for fear of his wrath. It is lingering terror from her time below the earth.
She follows him through the darkness... bound to an altar with living chains.. Flames crackle, burning white hot as they devour her body with smoke and agony. He watches and he smiles.
A shadow passes over her face and though it leaves, a haunted look remains in Minette's dark eyes.
She shakes her head slightly, as if the physical act will clear her head. The gray mare recognizes the naked panic on Felinae's face. Without hesitation, her only desire to comfort, Minette moves closer to the blue girl. As Felinae presses her nose against the gray mare's shoulder, Min returns her caress with a sympathetic nuzzle. The gray mare has forgotten what it is like to have friends. This companionable feeling is no small thing for her. With all that has happened in the past two years, the loss of a sympathetic ear has seemed like a frivolous thing to mourn. Nonetheless, an ache she had forgotten is soothed with the gift of Felinae's presence.
Minette is startled by Felinae's gratitude. She blushes.
“Oh, Felinae. You needn't thank me. It is my pleasure to be here for you.” Minette nudges the blue roan gently. She does not ask for her confidence. She knows that will take time.
She looks over her shoulder at the land. The mountains are haunting. Minette suspects Gryffen feels quite comfortable here after the heat and movement of the Chamber and such was his motivation for making this place his home. Whatever the reason, the gray mare struggles to see the beauty in this place. She shares Felinae's discomfort for the chill misted land where the sun rarely shines, and they are always watched. Minette wonders if she could convince Gryffen to move the herd.
But then the one good thing here, the freezing creeks to soothe her joints, would no longer be accessible.
A raven caws insistently overhead. Minette ignores it. Instead she turns her attention to Felinae.
“This may not be where you wish to be, but you aren't alone.”
I'm so excited, delighted. I won't deny it or fight it.
In her own discomfort she doesn’t recognize the haunted look within the gray mare’s eyes. It only shows her youth even more, still having to learn about life even though she would be around five years old by now. The way she behaved and looked at the world would fit a two or three year old. A three year old that is in need of comfort. And once she realises that Minette accepts her into her personal space she presses even closer. Felinae groans softly, enjoying their close proximity as she deeply breathes in the gray mare’s scent.
She is actually grateful for meeting Minette. She had been afraid of Gryffen’s mares, afraid they would be like the winged pale male himself, but this mare was an angel, a true angel. So when she replies the cobalt blue roan shakes her head and even though she still feels somewhat down, small and helpless she manages to offer Minette a small smile. ”I’m just glad you’re here..” she replies softly before reaching out to bring her muzzle closer to Minette’s. Felinae likes her and is happy to have found a friend in the dreadful mountain land. And Min would be her first friend. Sure Zeik had brought Miku to the rapids, but she never had had the change to actually get to know the other mare.
The raw sound of the raven above their heads make the blue mare flinch. Instantly she moves closer to Minette, before relaxing while releasing a loud snort. ”Stupid birds..” she mutters underneath her breath while she glances up for a short second. It is Minette’s voice that makes her shift her attention back to the grey mare. Felinae can’t help but to look somewhat disapproving, the truth could be ugly. So she dips her head, snorting softly, before offering a small smile. ”You’re right.” And it hurts her to say it out loud, but she isn’t a fool to ignore the truth. ”Were you the only one here, before …” she falls silent for a moment. "before we came?”
10-13-2015, 09:33 PM (This post was last modified: 10-13-2015, 09:34 PM by Minette.)
la jeune fille marquée
Minette does not say so, but she feels the same. She is beyond grateful that Felinae is here. The events that led them each here are not ideal, but what in this world is? A lightness has come over the gray mare, helping to counteract the darkness that has been creeping in on her soul. Locked away below the earth as the plaything of a dark god, she had believed she would never genuinely feel at home again. Now she is discovering that perhaps the land will not be her comfort; her family will. For each of them is scarred and torn to pieces, scrabbling to make sense of the circumstances they find themselves in. Minette is simply unfortunate enough to have her anguish painted across her body for all to see.
The cobalt blue mare's touch is gentle, unlike any Minette can remember. Even Gryffen, who has begin to change his approach, has not the fragile grace Felinae possesses.
She know it is worth little, her sympathy, but Minette offers it with each small smile and gentle contact. They are both hurting. The gray mare wishes that she could fix her companion's pain, but she has long ago learned that the world is beyond her control. Whether by chance or fate or ill-luck, Minette's life is not her own.
She thinks of her daughter then and gathers courage. Anguisette's choices will belong to her alone. It is the one brave thing Minette claims with silent, mother-pride. Though the ache of missing her child will never cease, it is tempered by the knowledge that her beloved girl is safe and sound. Even with Gryffen's recent changes, Minette is grateful that the haunting mountain herd will never be home for her bright child.
Minette nickers, a comforting sound that she would normally make for a child, to soothe and comfort. Her voice is steady when she speak, her confidence growing, although she is no less a lady. The gray mare is rarely able to be anything else.
“Yes. There was one, for awhile after I-I arrived. But she did not stay. I have been alone for some time.” Minette does not dwell on that day, two years ago now that she lost her innocence and her freedom all at once. “ I have children. A child. A son, Leck, who is wandering about the mountains. His father takes him to the Chamber and I don't see much of either of them.”
Minette feels guilty, but she does not mention Anguisette. She feels she can no longer claim her daughter as her own aloud.
Knowing Gryffen's appetites, Minette phrases her next question gently. "Do you have any children, Felinae?"
The gray mare does not know whether to hope that she does, or does not.
I'm so excited, delighted. I won't deny it or fight it.
She wouldn’t stay longer than necessary. Zeik had forfeited the pale male’s challenge and therefor Gryffen had won by default, but that didn’t mean Felinae was willing to stay longer than the year Gryffen had challenged the blue roan male for. Yet even she knew that it probably wouldn’t be that easy. It was impossible for the blue girl to imagine that he would let her walk away just like that.
As her gaze locks with Minette’s again there is a pang in her chest. She had just met the gray mare, but Min had instantly been a companion, a true friend. Leaving Gryffen meant leaving Minette, or Felinae should be able to convince the gray mare to come with her. She doesn’t want to leave her new found friend, yet her heart longs to be with someone who would never be allowed to set a foot in the mountain herd.
For now Minette is all she has and the only thing she can do is to try to make the best of it all. And honestly, she finds it strangely easy, or well, as long as she doesn’t think about Gryffen and his ravens that is. Her new friend’s joyful nicker makes her join in as a smile pulls up the corners of her lips. It hurt Felinae to hear that she had been alone all this time, except for Gryffen of course. In an attempt to comfort Minette she presses her bluish muzzle against the pale gray mare’s skin. ”I’m sorry to hear that..” she replies softly. She understands how a mother loves her children, even when the father is someone gruesome. ”How is he?” she asks, showing interest in her companion’s life.
Minette’s next words would’ve caused Felinae to pale if that would’ve been possible. ”I.. no, not yet..” she replies as panic slowly rises again. She hasn’t forgotten about the ravens but she cannot stop herself from glancing towards her stomach. Just days before she had been forced to leave the Misty Rapids another heat had struck her and like the first time she had been a stranger to herself. Zeik had been there with her and things had happened. Yet it might be possible that was with child, but at the same time the alarm could be false.
Her head jerks up to meet Minette’s gaze again, voice trembling as she speaks. ”You think.. you think he would want to…” The words are stuck in her throat, instantly anxious of what might happen once the fertile season came again. ”That he would…” Felinae isn’t able to finish her sentence and instead she nervously snorts, pressing closer to Min’s side.
How is her son? Minette feels a pang of guilt when thinking of Leck. She loves him. Of that, there is no doubt. Her love for him is as fierce and protective as what she feels for Anguisette. There is no explanation for mother-love. But his conception and birth complicate a world in which she is already conflicted. Coming from Carnage's torturous chambers and into the world remade and being filled with child before she realized who she was again; these things are stains on her heart. And though Leck does not posess his father's red eyes, he seems to share a multitude of other traits. Gryffen has changed, but perhaps his nature was passed on to his son. Minette does not know, and she carries a heavy load of worry for her child. She is afraid that the boy will turn out worse than his father once was.
Her worry shows through in her voice, the tone anxious although she tries to remain lighthearted. “He's wild.” Truthfully, the boy is more animal than equine at times. “Leck has much more energy than I ever did as a child. And, well, he's gifted. I don't know how but he was born with horns, although neither his father nor I possess any traits.”
That thought alone nags at her. Is it her fault? Will her past continue to punish her son? And still, there is a small shiver of fear, wondering what Gryffen will say if he discovers her curse. For she cannot consider it a blessing. She would rather remain normal for the rest of her life than carry around this fire inside of her. Even though Gryffen has been kind, even loving at times, Minette cannot shake her concerns. She has been irreparably damaged. The fire that heals her will never be able to mend the tears in her soul.
Minette nuzzles Felinae suddenly, her voice soothing. “Stallions always want children but if you don't want children yet I'm sure Gryffen will wait. Hush now, don't worry. I will speak with him. He doesn't, that is, he isn't, as forceful as he used to be.”
The pale gray mare has more confidence in her ability to sway the white wolf. In older days she would have stood by helplessly, but his patience with her has given her self-assurance.
“If it would help, maybe you could tell me about the home you came from? Only if you want to. Or I could show you around. It isn't beautiful here, but it is engaging and there are several spots where you can get out of the winds that are always here.”
Minette shivers a bit as the wind picks up in accompaniment to her words. She has often wondered how this place can be so cold when the Chamber is so warm. Fall is coming quickly, and the chill will grow bone deep.
![[Image: felinae_zpsxzrcory8.gif]](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v202/dsl_devin/felinae_zpsxzrcory8.gif)
