"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
Although she knew Myrna and the twins would be interested in venturing to Tephra, Mazikeen left them in the safety of Hyaline. It was going to be difficult enough walking into the jungle kingdom four years after she had last been there - the day she had given birth to her first children and then left them there. She worried that bringing her daughters with her would give those memories more potency - even if there was absolutely no intention of leaving anyone behind this time.
She does not take the same route as she had last time, which is easy to do since there is now a wide channel of water almost entirely separating the west from the rest of Beqanna. Striped hawk wings carry Mazikeen over the water that is bright in the summer sunshine and she focuses on the glint of the water below instead of the nerves that cause her heart to race.
Her trips out of Hyaline over the last few years have been few, and she usually had company whenever she crossed the mountains. Mazikeen’s mind fractures in hundreds of directions, remembering the friends she has not seen in so long, the conversations she had when she was not herself, the bridges that have burned.
It is good to have a purpose to her visit today, it gives her something to narrow her mind on. Last time she had come here seeking a purple mare, and while she wouldn’t mind seeing Wishbone again - it is the current queen she is seeking out as she lands near the border of the jungle. She keeps the striped wings folded at her side, squeezing them tighter than necessary - trying her best not to focus on any scenery that seems familiar and instead hoping to see a certain white mare, someone who had once helped her with her quest. Back when she thought the worst thing that could ever happen to her was losing her shifting.
Though Casimira made somewhat frequent trips to Hyaline, she did not always see Mazikeen, and if she did it was often only in passing. They were mostly informal visits to see her mother and Atrox, though they had increased since the return of Ryatah—as if seeing her will ensure nothing again happens to her. As time went on, though, that knot of anxiety began to loosen, and slowly she returned to the usual rhythm of her life, and her focus once again returned to Tephra.
She still was not sure if she was doing any of this right; if she was doing the kingdom justice. Every day she sat with a worried weight in her chest that she was not doing enough, and the echo of what Atrox had said to her still in her head—that the quiet over the lands was not the sign of peace it could be mistaken as, and that Tephra should be prepared. Did she even have what it took to prepare them? She isn’t entirely sure. The last war Tephra was in she had not even lived through it, but she had been young and held no control in her shifted form.
If war ever found them again, it would go differently, she tells herself. She has battle experience under her now, minor though it may be, but the proof of it still showed in the red marking on her front leg. She knew how to keep her dragon form in check, and she knew how badly a war could go.
She is lost in her thoughts when she catches sight of Mazikeen out of the corner of her eye, and immediately a smile brightens her face. “Maze,” she greets the familiar queen once she is close enough. “It’s good to see you,” she begins, but notices with a flicker of concern how tightly she is holding her wings to her sides, and she tries to will away the nervous flutter in her chest, because immediately her mind rushes to her mother. “Is everything alright?”
02-27-2022, 07:41 PM (This post was last modified: 02-27-2022, 07:59 PM by Squirt.)
Mazikeen
Mazikeen is so grateful when Casimira approaches, drawing her out of her dark memories. Despite the grip she keeps on herself, and the grip the darkness keeps on her mind, she is quick to find a smile fed by both her relief and joy. It waivers at Casimira’s concern, confused for a moment, until she remembers how tightly she is squeezing her wings.
Oh duh. Good job Maze, looking like you’re coming here with some awful news while coming to visit someone whose family had recently gone through a rollercoaster of tragedy.
So assurances come quickly. “Oh, sorry - yes.” Mazikeen forces herself to relax - something made easier now that Casimira is here, giving her a friendly face to focus on as she quickly speaks to erase any fears. “I just don’t have many good memories in Tephra. But everything - everyone in Hyaline is well.” She tries to think of when the last time she had seen the other white mare in the mountains visiting her family, but decides she might as well share a little personal news even if Casimira knew already - finding a smile again as she does. “You even have two new nieces.”
It never ceases to amuse Mazikeen how many ties she had to Firion’s family before she even knew it. She is glad she hadn’t known - perhaps she would have been less inclined to adore so many of them back when she wore a prickly armour to shield herself from anything related to the golden stallion.
Things are certainly a little different now.
To further assure Casimira that everything is fine, she moves on. Thoughts of the past continue to fade in favour of the present and there's a softness in her orange eyes when she asks. "Have things been okay?" And then with a small laugh - “You know, I think this might be my first visit with another ruler? Or, at least first one where they weren’t challenging me for an entity.” Politics had not exactly been one of her top priorities. It still wasn’t, really - but this was a special situation. Half politics, half a reunion for members of the pack that Mazikeen had allowed to fall apart.
There is a relief that washes over her when Mazikeen reassures her that everything in Hyaline is fine. The tightly coiled muscles under her skin loosen, and the frown that had shadowed her face clears. For a moment she almost feels ashamed that she had only assumed that the Hyaline queen was here to deliver bad news; she hated immediately jumping to such a negative conclusion, but given the recent circumstances, she supposes it is not all that surprising. “Oh,” she breathes out on a soft exhale, forcing a smile once again to her face. “That’s a relief,” she tells her honestly, because she knows she does not have to explain anything to her. Mazikeen knew better than most all the things she had been through—had been through even worse things than her, in fact. Casimira’s family had only been caught in the crossfire.
“It sounds like congratulations are in order,” she continues, the glacial blue of her eyes seeming to warm slightly, grateful to move on. “I’m glad that it sounds like things are going well for you, and that Hyaline appears to be on the path back to normalcy.” She tries to ignore the twinge in her chest when she thinks of the mountain kingdom. She had never thought there would be a day that her heart was split between two kingdoms when for so long nowhere at all had felt like home, but now, she felt such a strong pull towards both Hyaline and Tephra that it sometimes felt as if she was being cleaved in two.
“Things are going well here,” she answers thoughtfully, casting her gaze around the jungle that surrounds them. “It’s strange, being a queen. I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing.” It was one of the many reasons she is grateful for the return of her mother. Even though she knows she can — and has — ask Atrox for advice, it is comforting knowing that she had Ryatah to go to. No one understood the political games that Beqanna liked to play quite like her mother did.
“I promise I don’t intend on challenging you for anything,” she says with a quiet laugh. “I like to think that Tephra and Hyaline are allies.” It is spoken as a statement, but there is no mistaking the questioning lilt when she says it—looking at Mazikeen expectantly, hoping for confirmation.
Mazikeen can sympathize with Casimira’s feelings over it being strange being a queen - the black-marked mare still wasn’t used to the idea even after all these years. “I don’t know if it helps, but I still feel like that too. I try to tell myself that doing my best to keep everyone as safe as I can is enough.” Even though her choices early on, the ones she had made trying to keep the hurt all focused on herself, had ended up bringing more pain. But Casimira was right - things were finding a balance in Hyaline. And none of those that called it home had come for Mazikeen’s head just yet so maybe she was doing alright.
“The type of kingdoms that used to exist in Beqanna sound exhausting.” She adds with a small smile, if only to distract herself from the path that her thoughts had been going down. Castes and divisions and jobs needing to be assigned? It was hard enough to come up with ideas for those in Hyaline who had asked her - like Selaphiel and Bolder. She didn’t expect anyone to do anything if they didn’t want to. It was a home, somewhere to raise families or simply exist, not a business.
Her smile grows when Casimira brings up Hyaline and Tephra being allies - it’s a thought she’s had as well, so her confirmation comes quickly. “I absolutely agree - definitely allies. Hopefully you won’t ever need it, but if you do - Hyaline will be there to help.” It’s an easy promise to make, knowing how much of Casimira’s family resides in the mountains - Mazikeen feels reasonably sure that at least some of them would come to assist the pale mare, with or without an official alliance. Even if not - for what it was worth, Mazikeen always would show up.
And on a more selfish note - maybe, with a friend here again, Mazikeen can make some better memories inside this jungle.
“They do sound exhausting, I’ve heard enough stories to tell me that I think I much prefer the direction the kingdoms have gone recently.” The stories that her mother told made the kingdoms sound like a chore—a place you worked rather than lived. While perhaps the idea of rising through ranks might sound grander than simply living and being happy, Casimira easily knows which she would choose if given the choice.
She would rather Tephra be seen as somewhere safe, would rather she be seen as a keeper of peace than one who wears a crown.
She wonders if perhaps the lack of magic back then played a part in the old kingdoms’ need to feel ‘prepared’ in case of an attack. While it was still good practice, being prepared for an attack was certainly much different now. It took more than just visiting other kingdoms to flesh them out, and more than friendly mock battles. It was impossible to predict that kind of magic their opponent might be harboring, and difficult, too, to help others prepare with powers that you might not be familiar with.
It was why she had finally allowed Breach to help her practice using her shifted form, so that she might utilize her skill should it ever be needed rather than hide it away.
“And likewise, Tephra will always be there for Hyaline.” The promise is returned with just as much ease, because Hyaline was as much her home as Tephra. In Tephra she had been born, had first discovered that she could shift into a dragon—had died and been reborn on this soil. But Hyaline is where she had learned to live, had learned to be comfortable in her own skin, and had learned that broken hearts don’t last forever.
She lets her blue eyes drift from her friend’s face, looking past her and into the distance, where the new shoreline that the flooding of the south had created. “I’m still not used to Tephra being an island. I’m glad Hyaline was spared damage from the flooding that the earthquake caused, though.” That would have been just her mother’s luck, it seemed, to escape death and return to a destroyed home, she can’t help but to think ruefully. “Have you met anyone from the sea kingdom? It’s almost unsettling to think another kingdom has existed all this time and none of us knew.”
