"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
09-18-2018, 02:49 PM (This post was last modified: 09-18-2018, 03:04 PM by Leilan.
Edit Reason: pleh, I found a typo
)
Leilan
a dragon who couldn't be hurt on the outside could have so many ragged holes inside
Her winter coat is thick, but fully wet, or at least it had been when she entered the cave some time ago. By now, it seems to dry just a little, but he remembers when he pulled back moments earlier to half-seal them in (he wonders for a heartbeat if he should have sealed them in wholly, selfishly, so they would never be leaving this cave again) that she shivered, so he doesn't move from his spot even when she shakes the water out. He just blinks a few drops out of his eyes, letting the water glide of his scaly hide easily.
He just looks into her deep brown eyes when he talks, and snorts at her first response, half a laugh, half serious. "Somewhat." he repeats with a shake of his head. But she continues that the responsibility had held her sane, and he immediately feels guilty, knowing that he was one of those things she needed to keep her sanity for. If that was what she thought she needed, then who was he to judge? He'd just seen a majority of Khaleesi come and go (from a good distance) and had decided to leave them to it. The Amazons were never his thing, until this particular one.
He listens with a half-ear as she tells him not to talk about his mother like that (but his mother and he have a complicated relationship and he's allowed to tease her as much as he teases Breckin, at the least), and the fact that she does not elaborate doesn't bother him. Mother always finds a way to keep occupied. It's just what she's occupied with that he sometimes does not agree with.
But she's near, and she's touching him, did she touch him on that same spot on purpose? His eyes narrow as he looks at her, but she doesn't pull away this time so he can't ask with a look. Instead, he lets her continue to do the speaking, because he's said about all that he needs her to hear tonight. She's making fun of him now, he knows, but he would gladly let her have that win. "Always. Duly noted." is his immediate answer. Drowning in her eyes again for a moment, his own blue eyes deepening to a colour that they were before the changes, the chocolate brown - something that probably only ever happens when she looks at him that way, though he has no time to notice, soaked up by her own face.
"I'll always come home to you."
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@[Breckin]
Uhm. I think you melted him.
Two things I know I can make: pretty kids, and people mad.
Like she had hoped, he doesn’t shy away from the rain she rids herself of, not foes he chastise her for tossing water his way. The roan stallion stands unphased, and she watches as the droplets bead up before gravity pulls them down his body in shallow trails. It’s slightly mesmerizing, the way his scales and water alike glisten in what little light the cave has to offer.
But Most importantly, he stays close. And she revels in the warmth his body so close to hers. So caught up with other thoughts, she hadn’t realized just how cold she had been, until now. And how badly she had missed him, never thinking that she’d have the opportunity to come this close again, let alone touch him. She tells him as much, in the way she trails her lips along his neck, under the golden strands that so characteristically belonged to him. Unable to help the curiosity, her teeth gently skim the scales that lie under his mane, wondering if they still held as much sensation as a normal coat would. Could he feel her warmth as she moved across him.
”I’ve missed you, Leilan.” Her voice is hushed when she pulls away, all sincerity held her expression as she looks back at the intensity behind the brown eyes she had come to love.
I’ll always come home to you.
Such a simple statement for the overreaction it elicits from her heart. The pounding and fluttering against her chest sounds so loud to her own ears, she wonders if he can hear it himself. Casting a glance back at the partially occluded cave opening, worry creases into her features. The sky was obviously still daytime, though still blanketed with overcast clouds and pouring sheets of rain. He had said he would stay, she understood that, and the thought makes her smile flourish, but still, she worries that their time together would have to end sooner than later. He still belonged to the Brotherhood after all, and Ischia and Nerine weren’t exactly close by.
“How much time do we have?” she asks softly, unable to help the longing press of body into him, she’d waited entirely too long for this day.
@[Leilan] quick post from work. Sorry for typos or weird wording
a dragon who couldn't be hurt on the outside could have so many ragged holes inside
He just can't let go. Never again, if he could, though there's obviously the mundane things in the world like eating and duties and sleeping and kingdom members. Stupid things, that were way less important than keeping in touch with her. He places a kiss on her shoulder, and stiffens so as not to suddenly have to shake his neck when she touches him near the base of his mane. It tickles a little - must have been way worse if he'd still had skin, but, it's not like he's immune to feeling when there's chitin covering him. The truth of it is, he's just way too good at hiding feelings away though. Always been his problem. But not any more, he supposes.
He's never promised anyone else anything, as far back as he can remember. In most cases, he didn't have to, and perhaps there might be misunderstandings with those who thought he would. But now he does make one promise, accepting her demand for what it is, and adds a sentence that is so true in the deepest parts of his very being that it seems to resonate and click into place when it comes to mind, comes to life. And he intends to keep this promise. Because she is home. Nowhere else in the world would he prefer to be, he knows. Not even Ischia, not even the Jungle, not even his own mother feels as much like home as she does.
He makes a noise that's somewhere between a hum and a laugh when she tells him she's missed him. A funny thought comes to mind, but he doesn't feel like sharing because it'll break the spell, he may be not that good at romance after all, but he doesn't want to wake her up from this dream-state either. She's lovely that way. And damn, can she be attractive with a hush to her voice like that. She probably doesn't realize it though. That's part of the beauty of her, of course.
But perhaps she's breaking the magic herself, just a little - she glances outside, estimating the time of the day left. But he's too stubborn to let her think about that for long, especially now that she's pressed into him so much, her body language telling him she's not ready to part at all, not ready to think of the kingdom that awaits her. And why should she? She's allowed a day off, especially if it makes her function way better than before. That's what vacations are for, after all. Or maybe he's just being selfish, but honestly he doesn't want to differentiate.
He hums a bit to himself, unsatisfied with the fact that she needed to ask the question at all. "I thought you said 'stay'?" he murmurs into her back - he'd moved, leaned forward some more, wanting to embrace subconsciously, but instead he ends up hovering the words over her spine, and finds the spot between her shoulders easily and gives her a little nudge there, where a horse skin is most sensitive. Perhaps she'll need a little more assurance though. "I wasn't given an exact time to be home anyway." he follows up, there, that should be enough, this could last however long she needed it to. "Now could you please forget about the world for a day?"
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@[Breckin]
So I am thinking since the scales aren't dragon-dense (bc 2-space haha) but not fish-light either, it's probably like fingernails?
Two things I know I can make: pretty kids, and people mad.
It still feels slightly surreal that she’s stowed away, hidden from the storm with Leilan—the one she never thought she’d stand another chance with. But sometimes even fate has a funny way of working things out, and tonight seems to be one of those times, or at least she thinks, as her dark eyes trace upward to catch his glance.
She’s doesn’t know why, but she tries to avoid the subconcious shiver that has been threatening to run down her spine. It could be the drenching weather, his presence so close to her now, or both really. In the end it doesn’t really matter what makes it want to happen, because it’s the warmth of his mouth laying claim to her shoulder that finally sends the tingling wave out to drown her. The shiver runs through her spotted hide, leaving her little else to do but accept it and deal with its passing. In a moment it does fade and somehow she manages to not unravel entirely, holding with a loosening grip onto the last of her composure.
“I did,” she offers meekly at first, when he calls her out for telling him to stay in the first place. As she answers, Breckin stifles the small sound that nearly squeaks out from between her surprised lips, feeling a sudden pressure in the fragile area between her shoulder blades. The sensation is like the best kind of aching dullness that you could imagine and the path of teasing touches he places strategically along her triggers her body to become more aware.
The tension she had felt begins to unwind—how long had she been so strung up? But it could yet be much more improved, she realizes, and her darkening eyes seem to grin, placing a delicate kiss at the corner of his mouth. “Please,” she says quietly, still so neatly tucked into him, ”make me.” A dare, a hope, a desire for her gold touched stallion to help her take her mind off of all of her troubles, and to forget all about the world for a night, however he saw fit to do so.
“I love you, Leilan,” she says at long last. It was way overdue, and it felt so damn good to say it out loud.
a dragon who couldn't be hurt on the outside could have so many ragged holes inside
Hw smiles into her skin at the shivers that he provokes, knowing where to touch a mare is a skill long-learned to be honest, and he’s not surprised that her first answer sounds so meekly, followed by, what’s that, a squeak? He wonders briefly if he’ll touch her more, if he could make her scream then, if he should have closed the cave to make it a bit more sound-proof.
But the thought is lost at the answer she gives, what she asks of him is to make her forget; he’s happily admitting to that task, trailing along her neck and placing kisses in seemingly random spots, ending behind her ear. He knows where to go, and she knows how to get him to do it, even without asking. And for a short time, it’s all right to be tangled up like this, and he forgets about the world, himself.
But she just had to say it, and it both melts him as well as makes his blood run cold. What is he doing? Exactly what he did to all the others, and as soon as she finds out about them, it will all be ruined, and she will probably regret letting him stay, and she will hate him for not telling.
He can’t do that. Not to her. While he shouldn’t have done it to the others also, and regrets doing it in the first place, making them believe in him for a night - he can’t hurt her. Not again. ”But you really shouldn’t.” The statement runs of his lips without thinking, tone a little shaky as he pulls away enough to look at her; selfishly not breaking the touch altogether because as long as he doesn’t say it, she would stay there, and every millisecond is precious. But he has to continue, he can’t leave her hanging with that statement.
”Breckin, I’m an idiot. There are no words...” he shakes his head, pained bu the mete thought. But she has to make a more conscious decision than this, so she has to know. ”Does this emotion thing recieve as well as give?” he asks her. He’s worried, he doesn’t want to hurt her more but it will be worse if he doesn’t. So he has to.
Now, not tomorrow.
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@[Breckin]
Eep
Two things I know I can make: pretty kids, and people mad.
the truth that you'll find will always be the truth you hide
It had been a reciprocation, and honestly so much more. The way she'd confessed her of love him, mirroring his own words back just as he had admitted his own feelings earlier.
But you really shouldn’t.
Not exactly the response she had been hoping to arouse. Of course she wanted to reply with a sharp "why?" but her tongue lies still at the sensation of her pounding heart falling into the pit of her stomach. The heaviness ties into a knotted lump, weighing down the easy feeling of lightheartedness she had nearly been consumed by. And that tension of hers began coiling anew, turning her loosening body rigid again with every breadth he moved away. The distance wasn't great, but it felt like an eternity began and died, uncertain of what to say in that confusing moment.
Weaving her brows into an obvious look of bewilderment, she allows the expression to warp her features, eyes rising to meet with the troubled glance he pins her down with. And still she wonders exactly why she shouldn't love him, why he tells her this. Wasn't it her who had left him with so many unanswered questions? Caused him so much pain he had so readily shown her in the Forest? Shouldn't it be her that should not be entitled to his love?
The softness of her molten brown eyes begins to set and harden after he refers to himself of an idiot, unable to keep the perplexed expression from shifting towards suspicion. And he wonders if her ability works in reverse, if she can open the doors again so that she might see something in the shrouded past. Her preferance laid in not eavesdropping into the emotional memories of others, and especially not someone she would hold in such high regard. Not unless they asked her to. But now, it almost appears as if that is exactly what he is doing, as she stares questions into his ever-changing eyes.
"It does," she says finally when she finds her elusive voice again. Breckin allows the tendrils of her cognition to drop into the realm of veiled memories, settling the prying nature of her empathic ability into something akin to stand-by. "I won't go searching through your memories, Leilan" she divulges foremost, unwilling to take a notch out of the fragility of trust. "But if there is something you would like me to see, now is the time to do it. Just focus on your memory, and I will be able to see it."
A 'memory'--it didn't occur to her that he may have multiple.
your world is still lacking of me, how do you love?
a dragon who couldn't be hurt on the outside could have so many ragged holes inside
There was nothing more painful - not even his own pain in the past had been this bad - but he had to go through with it. She would have to know. Have to understand. He’s fully to blame himself, but, well he had (really bad) reasons and then she can decide what to do with him.
”I’m sorry. But there’s strings attached and you need to know about them before. Please don’t... don’t try to kill me for these.” A small indication of the myriad of memories that is to come and has to pass. It will pain him to sift through again, but it will pain her more and he can only be deeply sorry.
He closes his eyes to lean against her like she had with him, didn’t dare look her in the eye; sifting through a few shorter memories, starting with the day she left but briefly skipping past that. Takes her to a few of the days spent in Ischia, when hope was fading she’d ever come to talk to him. Passes through multiple memories of swimming to the mainland and walking through the riverland, then remembering that he probably shouldn’t confront her with someone she did not want to see, turning back every time.
He settles on one such retreat; a night when he’d stumbled upon a mare running, followed by a wolf, intercepting the predator to discover it was a shifter and seeing the joke of it then. But the wolf quickly left, and that dark mysterious mare carried the scent of autumn and was eternally grateful to him for, yeah what anyway. But when he looked into her eyes - deep brown so similar to the spotted mare’s - he could just pretend that she would be a good replacement for what he’d never have, and he let himself be carried away by a shy touch - skip that
Rushing forward, there’s a fire-carrying mare who could not interest him even though he tried, when before she would have; there was Rey who had started flirting instead of the other way around, mirroring his coat with ease, consider him impressed; Rey in Loess, saying don’t worry, it’s Arthas’, with a laugh that made him feel relieved and guilty at the same time.
A day at the river, unsuspecting until he heard a vaguely familiar voice and a child’s complaint, thinking someone had babysitting duty. The stunned feeling when he came eye to eye with Briseis and a blue roan filly, complete with golden blaze. Leilan’s you father actually. And the girl had just snuggled up to him complaining that her mother wouldn’t let her swim in the raging river; she’s such perfect little thing. Chryseis is the only good thing he knows that stems from him and he can’t just let her live without knowing her father does love her, unintended as she was.
He frowns into her shoulder, preparing for more. Worse.
There’s Roseen, in the Field, all alone and looking fragile, but it was her eyes that had him decide to ask her... I'd hoped you found the cure for that. Maybe you can be a cure. For mine, that is, and we'll see if I can help you forget yours. Seconds before Arthas and Breckin had come into hearing distance. The near-stinging sensation when he realized Breckin was so close, like an electric jolt; the disappointment turning sour when she didn’t even shoot him an apologetic glance, but cheerfully went on about kingdoms and whatnot, small talk. The stinging hurt and subsequent anger causing him to lash out trying to tell her that this was not the way to do it; instead ending up telling her to stay out of his life altogether - skip that too
Thalassa - deep brown eyes again, it’s clear he has a type; splashing in the river together, and a brief flash towards a similar memory for the day he met the love of his life that he’d probably never see again - staring into her eyes later that year, last fall, knowing she was just trying to make him feel better and get the hurt out of his eyes - skip
Roseen again, talking to him cheerfully on the trips they’d made, to the mountains of Hyaline, to Tephra and to Ischia, where she’d crooned into him so easily, so determined to make him fall for her - and he almost did, though it wasn’t her he saw when he looked into her eyes and lost himself in there for a moment. He could not start again. But almost was not enough, and they’d parted ways later.
Jenova in winter, a total outlier safe for the fact that she had a personality match, except she was not shy. Ot would be his downfall later when she cuddled up to him and he had decided perhaps he should try with someone completely different instead because the others hadn’t been able to help him move on. But that hadn’t worked either, in the end.
Skip, skip. His attacking the grass and his mother challenging him, completely rubbing him the wrong way. A blue stallion bumping into him; he’s lashing out and the man beushes into his mind and tells him his girlfriend might not be so inclined to avoid him if he wasn’t trampling plantlife. Wrong answer but he’d recieved a kick to knock some sense into him, so instead he gritted his teeth and left. Skip
More vague memories, he stirs, tries to back away from them, but not thinking about something when you already know the memory is there is hopeless. She gets part of it. A cold and windy surrounding, an ice blue miniature horse telling him in a booming voice You’re physically healthy. You’ve been granted a trait. You have a loving family and the overwhelming sensation that it was all worth nothing if he would everyday feel the hurt, and that it needed to stop - a ghostly feeling and visions of Chryseis growing up never knowing, of his mother searching, of Breckin with a completely random guy, better off without me.
Shaking his head, he backs away, that last bit was never intended for her to see. Unnecessary.
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@[Breckin]
Two things I know I can make: pretty kids, and people mad.
So much emphasis on a single word. It had begun to make her nervous, probably from subconsciously feeding off of his anxiety that was slowly filtering into her own feelings. She had purposefully made herself susceptible, opening up her gift, making it ready and willing for whenever he was ready to show her whatever was plaguing him.
And like the inevitability of darkness encroaching at the end of the day, his memories had overcome her. Swarmed with the flooding of images of his past and the emotions that were bound to them, she’d given herself over to it entirely. Unblinking and barely breatheing, his memories became her own, his emotions hers, and she was forced to feel everything.
It’s over soon enough, and her aware self withdraws from the convolution of his mind as briskly as a limb retreats from the sudden heat of a burn. Momentarily it’s all that she can do but to blink as if to clear her thoughts from the lingering stubborn haze of his transference.
“You made some poor decisions.”.
An understatement for sure, but any other sensical words weren’t within her reach just then. Watching him with the other women had been hard to bare witness to, filling in the blanks of the gaps he’d left for censorship. But the last part had by far been the hardest, the most painful to glimpse. The torture in past Leilan’s eyes and the decision set in his mind to end the suffering the only way he could think of, having failed in any and all other attempts to remedy a pain that she had caused elsewhere. His goal upon the mountain had been the very thing she had worried of and feared for that day she had walked away from him in Nerine, the fear of losing him in death. But her actions and inactions had spurred a chain of events that would unknowingly cause him an attempt at his own life.
“I already knew of Briseis and Chryseis,”, she admits, ”I ended up meeting them on my way back to Nerine after you found me in the Forest.”
Her face a mask set in resolution, she watches through deceptively guarded eyes as he retreats from her side. His absence rekindles the once-dying chill, sending an unpleasant shiver throughout, where the last one has been so much more enjoyable.
For awhile, she remains unmoving, losing track of time as the seconds slipped by. But he wasn’t making light of the situation, and she wouldn’t either. They’d been so easily losing themselves within each other at first, nearly becoming consumed my their mutual attraction. He could have kept leading, and she would have followed willingly none the wiser. But he’d shown restraint, attempting to ease himself of a guilty conscious perhaps, but she had the suspicion it was more so for her benefit, to allow her to make a well informed choice. It conveyed personal growth and wisdom—something she could appreciate.
And in the end, it had all been done before. Before tonight, before they’d both apologized, before they had given into confession, before they wavered on the precipice of exclusivity.
Looking at him now, shame and remorse had etched themselves deeply into the lines of his handsome face. And something lit heatedly inside of her, burning away what little doubts that had managed to surface though this entire ordeal. Simply put, she couldn’t stand seeing him like this. When he hurt, she did too and the need to see that irritating smile light up the darkness of his expression suddenly became the single most important thing in her world.
Lost somewhere in consideration, her gaze had drifted downward, staring solemnly at the dampened floor. ”Leilan” she reaches for his attention, raising her eyes so deeply ingrained with with sadness and exhaustion, and she moves closer to him, forcing him to meet her gaze that he is probably trying to avoid. But she would not yield, she would wait to say anything more until he finally did look at her.
And when he does at last look at her, he would see her smiling gently, in sincerity and reassurance, and still shaped with love. “I won’t try to kill you. Obviously it would be a waste of time and energy on my part.” A pathetic attempt at humor she knew, but she missed that smile so much. “Thank you for showing me. As uncomfortable as it was to see, I’m glad you did.”
Reaching up, she tugs playfully at the ends of his gold drenched mane before moving a step back again to better look at him, her voice becoming lined with nothing short of the purest sincerity. “Honestly though, Leilan, I’m much more concerned with how you will spend your future. And if you are still willing to let me be a part of it.”
a dragon who couldn't be hurt on the outside could have so many ragged holes inside
The moment he steps away again - breaking contact, hoping she hadn't seen that last bit - she shivers, and he wonders if they will continue to break of the romance for one another in an endless cycle of wanting and then thinking of something more important, then still longing. But he's endured it before, and it has been much worse before, so the only regret from stepping away now is that she's cold again and he doesn't really want her to be.
She has frozen into her spot, blinking away the memories, they were perhaps way more than she'd thought she'd agreed on; but he can't keep these things from her, and deep down, he needs her forgiveness and he needs her to make her decisions well-known, not half-informed like he'd led on the others and then dropped them and left. He'd used them to make himself feel good for a time, and hadn't even considered that they were in it for another purpose, a long-term one perhaps, that they would not like it if he just took from them and didn't actually, really, give anything in return.
Still, Breckin says nothing, and he's afraid that she'll say exactly what he'd been afraid of all day. Leave. But she's silent, and he just stares at her, but not her face, her hooves, her shoulder, the spots followed in a random trail, back to the ground then, he shouldn't even be allowed to look, a cycle of wanting to admire her still and not daring to - endlessly, until she awakens.
And mocks him in a tone he can't quite place. Dry, seeing the irony of it perhaps. He snorts at that, then inspects the ground before him - taking the words seriously in his regret. "Yes."
How could she ever overcome this? Perhaps in due time, if he can show her that he really has changed his ways; however long it takes, he has forever. But he certainly does not expect her to forgive him, not right away, right now, even though all he really wants is to cuddle her and hold her and tell her he'll never ever do that again and that he'll be good and that he'll do anything and he can wait and - I already knew of Briseis and Chryseis.
His eyes snap back up at hers, and she stares him down, unmoving, and he feels the shock ebbing away and giving room of even more regret now that he understands why after their fight she surely must have thought he really did not want to see her again, that he'd already moved on perhaps. As if a man who'd always just been making fun of girls but never really let them into his heart, could move on from the only one who did get through to him - but she couldn't have known that.
If he had been given the ability to shrink instead of those gleaming scales and all, he would have done so now. Or sink through the ground. He tears away from her beautiful but stern-looking eyes, unsure if he is even allowed to adore them when she's angry with him, pretty sure that was not her intend, but it gives her a certain spark - but he denies it to himself, she doesn't deserve any of this.
She calls his name calmly - way too calmly for his liking, one hundred percent sure that she will be angry, or will tell him to leave her sight for a moment, or for the rest of the year. But as he avoids her eyes she remains silent, like a mother waiting on a child that has done something wrong, annoyingly patiently so. So he'll have to, eventually. With a shuddering intake of breath, he spares her a fleeting look.
But she is smiling, not looking at him coldly. He remembers her last sentence - already knew - and he realizes that she has already had the time to think it over and apparently had already decided that she could actually forgive him. Otherwise she wouldn't have asked him to stay, or to come over, after all. It had taken minutes, if not an hour for him to settle in, but there it was. She did love him and she still would.
Relief washes over him as she attempts her humour on the situation, and he nods slowly. He almost opens his mouth to say someone already tried, then he rephrases. "Would shut me up for a moment." There's an inkling of the spark in his eye that had been lost a moment ago, though he still cringes at her telling him it was uncomfortable to see. "I hadn't actually intended the last bit..." That was the reason the last bit was so blurry; it wasn't that his mind was foggy at all, just that he'd tried not to think about it and failed miserably. Because he had known it would hurt her to watch, much more than the other things that she just needed to know about. But apparently he had to work on this mind-sharing and mind-blocking skill, if he was still allowed to stay with her.
That was why he frowned at her following words, after all. She tugged his mane playfully as if all of this was just a minor thing, and, well, he supposed that compared to the enormous amount of love he still had for her, it was, but she really just lost him there. Mare's minds had never been his forte - their bodies, sure, but he had not a single clue what it was they actually wanted in life or why they would say certain things - and Breckins was perhaps the most tangled-up of all, which was why he spent so many hours trying to unfold her words and actions into something that made sense to him. They never did, she would still always be able to catch him off-guard, saying something that in his mind did not befit him. Like 'if you're still willing to let me be a part of it'. "You've got your horses mixed up." The words fall from him in confusion, but when he looks at her, sure she will not understand what he means, he tries again. "I meant to say I should be the one worrying if you'd still let me be part of your life." A crooked smile, shaking his head to clear his thoughts.
"I know how I'll spend my future. I'll just spend it doing whatever you ask me to do." He shrugs, as if it's no big deal at all. There's never a question in his mind as to how he'll react to any command, question, or suggestion she has for him.
His eyes search her gaze. "You don't deserve the likes of me, coming with all these complications and stupid decisions of mine. But if you're as stubborn as I hope you to be, then at least I'll forever try to be deserving of your love." Because right now, he knows he has no rights, or at least so he feels, but if she's that set on keeping him around like he suspects from her last questioning statement, then he'll know how to earn that right back, and never let go.
Speaking of which, since she's come near him again, he still had promised to keep her warm, and so he takes the one stride forward to hug himself to her with his neck, knowing he's stronger and whatever she does he'll not let go again.
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@[Breckin] ^^
Two things I know I can make: pretty kids, and people mad.
Nothing short of steady attentiveness is what she gave him, swivelling a lazy ear easily to claim his replies, still hoping to have sparked some semblence of reassurance within him. And there it was, that stupid smile of his that made her world a bit brighter. It was what she had wanted, to see that trademark grin so characteristically his light up the darkness of his grief-stricken face. And in turn, it makes her own meager grin widen to something flourishing.
The edge of her smile falters when he claims he doesn't deserve her for accepting him and all the burdens he now carried. It felt to her, as though the start of his troublesome journey had rested on her shoulder, with her making the first poor choice of many that would quickly ensue. If only she hadn't been so young, so naive then, and perhaps a bit bolder, then all of this could have been avoided. But even then, fate works mysteriously sometimes, and even when their relationship had become strained, it still found a way of pulling them back together, their connection never really entirely severed. Even though it had definitely felt like it.
It was painfully obvious. He had his regrets and she had hers.
The thought of him having to deal with the haunts of his past alone didn't settle well, knowing full well that she would do her damned best to do what she could to ease the lingering pain. Pain that had stemmed from her in the very first place. And perhaps that was a part of being in love, the willingness to share in carrying the weights your loved one bared, doing your best to buoy them up when feelings of ill intent threatened to damper them. She didn't know for sure, couldn't say for sure, but it felt too right. They'd figure out the complications together.
"I--" She had begun to tell him her latest revelation when her sentence is cut short in surprise when his neck locks over her, pulling her strongly into his embrace. Oof, is all that comes of the fledgling sentence when her spotted frame meets with the solidness of his roan one. Caught entirely off guard, and yes still very much stubborn, she tries to pull back fractionally but finds his steely hold on to be entirely too unwilling to give at all. And she just doesn't have the strength to fight it, physically or emotionally, not that she wanted to anyway.
With a softened sigh of resolution, she leans into his pillar of warmth, allowing herself the simple luxury of closing her eyes dreamily. "You are deserving of my love, Leilan," she says, at last, finally finding her voice so easily swept up in contentment. Her voice is light, though deceptively so, masking the stubborn edge of certainty that she had spoken with. Too selfish to want to try to meet his gaze now, entirely to lost in his hold over her, she murmurs quietly into him mischievously, lips brushing over the firm scales that laced over him, "Now forget about the rest of the world tonight, Leilan." The same words he'd spoken to her only minutes ago, the only difference was that this time, it not a question.
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