"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
Thrown solidly at their feet, as heavy and bland as his stupid, cold and deadened heart. His blackness manifested from the dark shadows, his jaw tight as he masked the excruciating physical pain he was in. Even now, his bones were rolling within him, rumbling and shifting and pressing against the inside of his skin, rupturing so painfully slowly. Bleeding freely, as always, more so by the phase of transformation. He was here, though, and he'd seen enough.
No, he certainly didn't do discreet. He maimed and obliterated in broad daylight, made a gory mess of someone else's bloody life without a care to witnesses. He was ruthless, brutal. Trained to be quick, deadly. Lethal. Discreet never came up in his rigorous instruction. But you already know this, he said pointedly, hard, black eyes locked onto the blue and white dagger he'd held so delicately, so reverently. That hadn't been discreet either, in the wide, open meadow for all eyes to see. His time with Leliana too, as he pressed her beneath him in a bed of wildflowers.
He skirted around Leliana without looking at her, avoiding her magic and her precious heart, focused and intent, and far too aware of the ache in his chest at ruining her life some more. It was what he always did, many times over. This other though, she had only seen a peek at the destruction that followed in his wake. He was the catalyst, the decimator. It chose no sides, harmed all. She was yet unscathed, unless his affection had unknowingly done so. But it was doubtful.
He approached, stepped close to this confident woman that had gifted him with her rare softness, just a brief moment. Just a peek. There was more to her than this cold exterior. More to her than he'd ever share with others. He reached slowly, his breath fanning her cheek where he paused. You overstep here, he whispered darkly, moving on to drift over her neck, her shoulder. Never touching, only reminding, only remembering. She knew Leliana from his memories, knew to take her face and no other. Had seen what it did to him.
He could be lethal, or he could be heat.
She could be the dagger at his throat, or the one turned to her own breast.
I waited for something and something died so I waited for nothing and nothing arrived
The answer is like a dagger to the belly and she grits her teeth against it, steels her spine. She had known this truth, she reminds herself, even as she quakes; this is nothing new to her. Her eyes don’t leave the mare’s because for all of her kindness, for all of her naive beliefs about the goodness in people, she is not weak. Perhaps she is not the same strength as Heartfire—perhaps her strength is not in the sharpness of her tongue or in the protective guard around her heart, but it does not make her weak.
She would not fall before this.
“I see,” is all she says at first, her voice still steady, belying the pain she feels running like a river beneath her skin. Is it not enough that she already lose him once? Must she lose him again and again for it to truly count? Must she experience this gut-wrenching pain eternally, each time with a new face? Still, she will mourn later, she will cry alone. She does not react, just takes a deep breath, readying herself to respond—
When he arrives.
And her world goes black. She swallows again and one leg goes out to steady her, confusion clawing at her chest. He does not look at her, does not even acknowledge her. He just rushes past her to press up against Heartfire and she feels only the cool air that ripples across her side from his motion. This—this is so much worse than her imagination and she feels her throat closing up, her heart shattering in her breast.
(Again, and again, and again—always pain, always loss with him.)
Her brow furrows and then she wipes it clean, turning her cheek from them. This is not her scene to watch; this is not her place to intrude. Part of her, some distant part, wants to shout, to scream, to ask why she was never enough—to demand answers. But the other part of her is defeated and tired, so tired. She cannot watch this, every part of her tells her this. She cannot survive it.
So she simply turns and begins to walk away, but not before her healing reaches out and runs like water through his body, easing the bruises and closing up the flesh that splinters open. Because despite the fact that she is burning with anguish, despite the fact that she should loathe him for this pain, she cannot stop the fact that she loves him. She has whispered it to Heartfire, she’d confessed it to him on the Mountain.
He does not cherish her love, but she cannot stop herself from giving it.
it's our dearest ally, it's our closest friend it's our darkest blackout, it's our final end
He manages to surprise her. It is incredibly rare that she is taken by surprise, but he manages it.
She does not start however, does not display her startelement in any way other than the quick flick of her blue eyes. She cannot say that his presence is a surprise however. They had parted ways so recently. She just hadn't thought he might follow her. But, she is well aware he is far from discreet. It's how she had ended up in the center of this conversation after all.
She twitches the skin of her shoulder, as though shooing a fly, her lips tugging into a slight frown. Her gaze pierces into the dark, bone-studded stallion as a remembered heat flushes her skin all too briefly.
His admonishment causes irritation to rise, however. Her ears press backwards as she reaches delicate fingers it to claim the retreating Leliana’s sight. She is not done with her yet, and if Dovev wishes to accuse her of overstepping, then she would do so in truth.
As she steals the younger woman's sight from her, leaving her in a world of blackness just as she had done with the faithless stallion before her, she offers Dovev a chilly smile. ”Oh, you have yet to see just how far I am willing to overstep.”
Her body might protest, but she retreats from the deceptively tender non-touch of Dovev’s lingering muzzle, her eyes never leaving him as she nears Leliana once more.
It is ironic that he thinks of her as a sharpened dagger, beautiful and deadly. She remembers once wielding one in order to kill a man. She remembers human fingers clutching the cold hilt, the feel of its sharp edge piercing flesh. The knife had been meant for the man she had loved. Instead she had used it to kill the man intent upon killing him.
She brushes against Leliana, muzzle skating a soft touch across her hip, along the edge of her wing. Her expression turns gentle, contemplative, though the other mare could not see it. Dovev could, however. ”I have been in love before. Well enough to know it should not be painful. Would you like me to show you?”
She had made her choice a very long time ago.
heartfire
i filled up my senses with thoughts from the ghosts
picture c Petrova Julia.N
Heartfire is a bish :| please let me know if this isn't OK and I'll change it <3
He felt her shift to leave, her magic sinking into him with a quiet exhale, flowing through him in recognized paths. He froze at the familiar heat, closed his wounded eyes, breathed in pain. Cured, perfectly healed, but bruised, his heart breaking. Why couldn't she just hate him, wish him dead and not whole. Why couldn't he let go, leave her to fend for herself. Why did he have to watch over, step back in to her life even when it would hurt her more. He always did more damage than good.
His gaze never faltered, though. Bottomless black locked with this fiery dagger, and he witnessed the shift in them: mild surprise, heat. Then cold, so cold. The smile, too, that spread across her delicate lips, icy cold steel. His eyes remained dull, impassive, though his heart squeezed in apprehension. He had made it worse already, always made things worse. Oh, you have yet to see just how far I am willing to overstep. He already knew it was true.
She stepped away, approached Leliana. With each inch closer, his chest tightened, his blood burned hotter, and he followed in her wake, circling Leli's opposite side. As her muzzle lined that hip that was not hers, he mirrored it, his eyes never leaving hers. His touch was firmer -I'm here, and he breathed Leliana's scent deeply, reflecting the woman's action as she trailed up a perfect wing. His wings that had blanketed them, held them cradled together. His wings that had spread and draped over every flawless curve in sexy black silk. His.
I have been in love before. Well enough to know it should not be painful. Would you like me to show you?
No. He didn't want that. He was pain and destruction, but he loved her. Nothing she showed him would change that. He was pain. But he loved.
He followed his path to Leliana's shoulder, touching there too. His lips brushed her neck, as if he had any right to, knowing that he would never have the chance to do it again. She would leave here, and she would hate him. He paused at her jaw, pressed his forehead to her with pinched eyes that desperately wanted to mourn and cry, his heart screaming. I love you, I love you. I will do this for you, anything for you.
With a catch in his breath, he pulled away, slipped beneath her chin and dragged himself across her chest, hoped to feel her mouth draw over him, even briefly. His hard stare returned again to the roan, detached and empty as he neared her at Leli's wing. She'd done something to Leli to make her stand so still, so uncertain. He would guess her sight was blinded, as his had been, but couldn't possibly know what sort of magic this one had in her. He didn't know what he was up against.
But that never mattered.
His slow and leisure movement ended. In an instant, he shot towards her without warning, teeth suddenly seeking flesh that he had once kissed so tenderly, skin he'd so sweetly tasted, savored. He could be wonderful heat, or he could be lethal.
I waited for something and something died so I waited for nothing and nothing arrived
She is almost away—almost free when everything suddenly turns dark. Leliana’s heart begins racing and she lifts her head upward, nostrils flaring to drink in anything that would direct her toward what was going on, to what was happening around her. Her legs quiver but she doesn’t move, doesn’t try to fumble her way through the dark. Instead her wings sharpen by her side, turning into that familiar copper, hard and unrelenting as they sit by her dark mahogany side. Never a weapon, but at least some defense.
When Heartfire’s muzzle begins tracing up her side, she startles, and then frowns when she feels Dovev on the other side. This didn’t make sense—none of this made sense. Her eyes widen but are unseeing, the pain in her chest almost unbearable. She didn’t want to be in the middle of this. She didn’t want to be part of whatever wicked they were weaving together; she didn’t want to have to bear witness, even if she didn’t bear witness with her eyes, but instead with her other senses. She didn’t want this branded on her.
But—
But.
She turned her head toward the source of Heartfire’s voice, feeling Dovev on the other side of her, feeling his touch that still (still) set her skin aflame, even knowing she shared that sensation with so many others. “Yes,” she breathed softly, her voice of fog pained, tangled in her mouth. “Show me.” She needed to see that there was other options. She needed to know that love did not always hurt, that there was the chance she could fall in love—that she could be loved without this constant agony. She needed to know.
She trembled as Dovev pressed his forehead against her, and a single tear fell down her cheek. She closed her blind eyes. “I need to know.” He moved under her neck, and her mouth skimmed across his neck, across the strength of his back—knowing, knowing he was returning to Heartfire. Knowing that he was somehow part of this web she was now trapped within. The sound of their clashing only proved her point.
She stumbled to the side, catching herself in time to ensure that she didn’t fall.
Then silence fell over her, leaving her alone with nothing but her imagination.
it's our dearest ally, it's our closest friend it's our darkest blackout, it's our final end
Her frame might be narrow, her stature slight, but it would be a mistake to believe her weak.
Her vibrant blue eyes follow Dovev as he works his way around Leliana, imitating her movements until he is in front of her. Until his hard gaze struck on Heartfire with intent.
She holds that dark look, unwavering. Her lips curl a bit, a small, daring smile, at Leliana’s affirmation. Had Dovev not struck a chord inside of her, one that hit at her heart of hearts, she would have left well enough alone. But he had made a grave error in judgement.
His attack does not take her by surprise. No, a small part of her expected it. It is what he does when he feels he has no control. When he feels things slipping through his fingers (or hooves, rather), never quite in his grasp.
Instead, she meets him head on. But first, she gives Leliana her sight back. A quick tweak and she can see. She can see the true face of her love.
Ears pinning, she lashes out with teeth and hoof, letting him know, in no uncertain terms, that she can give as good as she gets. Of course, she could never match him in weight or strength, but she had been born of the desert. Her feet are agile and sure. His teeth scrape and bruise flesh, but a pivot and a dodge bring her around before she swiftly moves to Leliana’s opposite side. She is not fool enough to invite a second attack. Her hard gaze fixes in him before she says in a low, steely voice. ”I am not my sister Dovev, that you can strike at without fear of retaliation. I am not kind, and I do not forgive and forget.”
Indeed, she could turn him to dust with a thought, though she does not threaten it. If she wanted him dead, she would not give warning.
She doesn't wait any longer, instead she commandeers Leliana's sight, dragging along Dovev as well. Let them both see the thing she has never shown another living being.
It is her past they see. Her as human, though it did not make the truth of it any less. Her youthful self, determined not fall in love but doing so anyway. In many ways, Heartfire can relate so well to Dovev. Her beloved had been good and kind, and she had been his enemy. She had not deserved his love, but he had cherished her for her uniqueness. And she had loved him enough to change, not because he had asked of her, but because it is what she had needed.
She remembers holding the blade in her hand. It had been meant to kill him. Instead she had killed his enemy, a man once her ally. She had faced death for her love of him (she still remembers the bite of steel against flesh, the rush of warm blood against her skin). She had been shown the error if her ways, and she had turned the situation to her favor. She had become a Queen (a role she had once believed herself terribly unfit for) instead of a coward shrinking into the background.
He had loved her in spite of everything. The imperfect deserve love as much as the perfect, she knows that better than any. But betrayal and pain are its enemies, and that is something she had never done.
She has never hidden her judgement. Perhaps now they might understand why. ”If you truly feel love, fight for it. It is not for the weak of heart. Otherwise, at least love enough to let go.”
The turn of her gaze, fixing directly in the armored stallion, shows exactly who she believes to be the weaker hearted.
Everyone deserves love, but they do not deserve pain.
heartfire
i filled up my senses with thoughts from the ghosts
picture c Petrova Julia.N
Ok, apparently Heartfire thinks she's the ~*relationship guru*~ :|
Also, if you want to read about the fun little journey Heartfire took them on, it is the quest by the Selection Committee
"Yes," Leli pleaded her, stabbing his heart, making him wince, "Show me. I need to know." God, but it didn't stop her from touching him back, and he hated the pointless flare of hope that billowed to life in him. He hated hoping. He could never be good enough, not for her. That hope warmed him, but cut him so deeply. Hope was pain. He was pain.
He lunged for her, this threat; he'd do anything to keep Leliana safe. He was trained to.
To protect. By any means necessary.
Kill swiftly.
She pinned her ears and met him head on with a clash of teeth and muscle. He took wounds he didn't yet feel, would feel later, blood pooling at his shoulder. But she danced away, circled Leliana to safety. He growled and stilled, hard eyes locked on her in caged fury, pressing himself instead against Leli where she had stumbled to the side. I'm here, always here.
"I am not my sister Dovev, that you can strike at without fear of retaliation. I am not kind, and I do not forgive and forget."
This much meant nothing to him. He has attacked countless people, harmed, killed, or maimed. He couldn't be expected to know who was family to who. Or give a damn.
Normally, he would follow her, put himself between them, but physical attack wasn't her style. She could harm without even moving. And she did then. She stole his sight again, forced new visions across his blinded eyes.
He tensed, nosing his way to Leli's hip, letting her scent, the feel of her, ground him to this reality. Let her steady him.
Then he gasped, the images playing so clearly, so painfully clear. No.. no, he pleaded in a mournful groan, watching a love unfold, so different yet so similar to his. Stop. Don't do this. He prayed Leliana wasn't being shown these same things as tears slipped out of unseeing eyes to soak into her coat. God, don't let Leli see this, don't let her see a love that can change and be better. Don't let her feel the bitter pain of hope.
He will never be good enough.
She was so amazing.
And he was him.
And finally she released his eyes. "If you truly feel love, fight for it. It is not for the weak of heart. Otherwise, at least love enough to let go." He blinked away the remaining fog, leveling a sharp glare on her that lacked the heat, the rage buried beneath so much anguish. Get the fuck out of here, he snarled. He wasn't above killing her, even with Leliana watching. If it would promise her safety, he'd do it. He'd do anything.
He edged closer to Leliana, passing her shoulder, her neck, his heart thundering in fierce anxiety. Cautiously, hesitantly, he reached for her, tried to sweep tenderly across her cheek. Are you ok, Leliana? he whispered, his voice strained, brows pinched tightly together and tears still falling freely. God, if she wasn't ok this witch was dead in a countdown of ten, he swore it.
I'll take my bow, I won't make a sound I whisper truce as the ashes hit the ground
“You cannot tell me, to ‘get the fuck out of here.’ Though I’d certainly love to see you try.” The voice, disembodied and distant, becomes clear and tangible as the gingerman steps out of nowhere and into a very tenuous situation.
“Forgive the intrusion, Heartfire, my name is Ashley, and this young pup is my protégé. Fucking lot of good it does him. He takes power and wields it like a drug needle.” The ipso facto leader of Ischia is dismissive of Dovev, and instead pays his direct attention to Leliana. That girl, who with so few words walked into his life and changed his heart—indeed gave him a new lease on love and happiness—was in a downward spiral of her own, and it was playing out before his eyes.
The magician snorted his disgust with what he saw what this was doing to the poor girl. He immediately sidles alongside her, eyes focused coldly on Dovev as he pushes the younger man out of the way. His voice, warm and soothing, pulls Leliana into a mental state of relaxation, his words crooning her. He was there to reassure her. Something he should have done the last time they had met. “You once asked me if I thought love could last forever.” His voice whispers, his mouth twisting and pulling closer to her ears, even while his eyes were trained on the bone-clad stallion. “And the answer is unequivocably yes.”
He steadies her, and brings her down, before stepping away, his ears pulled back. His look is still stone-cold. His eyes, heavy-lidded with barely checked anger. To Dovev. “You don’t deserve her. But for whatever reason, her love for you is unconditional. And it will kill her.”
and the girls caressed me down ughhh that's that lovin' sound
03-14-2017, 09:09 PM (This post was last modified: 03-15-2017, 12:02 AM by leliana.)
I waited for something and something died so I waited for nothing and nothing arrived
They clash and she makes a strangled noise in her throat, a cry as her vision returns to her. She wants to stop them, wants to pull them away from each other, but she is no warrior. She doesn't belong in their world, in this life. So, she does the only thing she knows how to do, sending out the tendrils of her healing magic toward them, letting it wrap around each of them individually and in turn. She may not be able to break them apart but she can, at least, stop them from killing each other in the process.
But, soon, it comes to an end, and she is once again in the middle of them.
Her eyes go blurry and then dark, her vision hijacked as Heartfire begins to show her everything she had once experienced: the pain, the loss, the love. Leliana aches for her, aches for what she has experienced and lost and the love she must have known—but this is not her story. This is not her, and she only shakes her head, crimson wrapping around her jaw as a tear falls down her cheek. "I don't want to fight," she says softly, "and I don't want anyone to fight for me." Fighting meant pain and loss. It meant someone was on the losing end. That's not what she wanted for her love story. Not what she wanted for Dovev.
"My love for him doesn't come with limitations or strings," more silent tears as she turns her head toward the source of the noise, the blue mare before her. "It is free." Even if it killed her. Even if giving it made her life a constant agony. She wouldn't change it. She wouldn't ask for him to change for her. She loved a wild thing, and she had to be okay with it. She had to accept that her love was a river that ran in one direction. She had to accept that one day it would empty her out, leave her as nothing but a dry husk.
She is about to turn to Dovev, to answer his question, when the ginger man comes—and although she cannot see him, she knows his scent, knows his voice. But what he says? That doesn't make any sense. "You know Dovev?" Her voice is quiet, thinking about what she had said to him that night, the sorrow so clearly breaking apart her features. Her face shatters and, finally, finally, everything becomes too much. The realization of Heartfire, watching Dovev collide with her, Heartfire's lesson, the arrival of Ashley. She trembles and sinks into Ashley's side, turning her head into his neck as sobs rack her body.
it's our dearest ally, it's our closest friend it's our darkest blackout, it's our final end
Um, yes, please pretend she gave their sight back because I fail D:
show them the joy and the pain and the ending
Loving had changed her, had made her better. She would not have traded it for the world, not even to spare herself the heartache of their separation. She has a lifetime of memories to sustain her. But it had hardened her, that loss, making her into the creature that stands here today. Leliana contains such a rare innocence. It would be such a shame for it to become tainted by the callousness of Dovev.
She recognizes a lost cause when she sees it, but it is not Leliana’s love she had ever questioned. It is Dovev’s. ”It was not your love I was speaking of, Leliana.” She surprises herself with the sympathy that creeps into her tone as she speaks.
She bridles at the armored stallions furious demand, at his gentle question that rings with such falseness. ” Do not dare pretend offense. You have hurt her far more than I ever could.”
She has barely spat the words at him when another materializes into their midst. This small, largely innocent conversation has turned rapidly into a conflagration. Her blue gaze snaps to the buckskin stallion, a cold fire in her eyes.
His words, surprisingly enough, sooth her anger to a simmer, allowing speculation to rise. She recognizes him from her delve into Dovev's past, though she had not paid any particular attention to him. Now she does, wondering just how such a man had come to take on Dovev as a pupil.
He could not be a very good one, given his habit of running around, stirring tempers.
Shaking her head, Heartfire shifts her gaze to Leliana as she curls into Ashley, sobs wrenched from her by his tender touch. Her heart curls a bit, stomach hollowing at the sound as something almost like regret trickles through her. She had never meant this to happen, never meant to draw out Leliana's nightmares.
Pulling her gaze up to Ashley, she considers him, considers the comfort he so easily offers, before turning to look at Dovev. Her bright blue eyes harden in an instant, none of the heat he had one coaxed from her present any longer. She could have been a great ally to him, but he had chosen differently.
”He's right, you don't deserve her.” Her tone is positively frigid as she addresses the darker stallion. ”I will leave, but you must leave too.” Her steely gaze leaves no doubt that she would ensure he did.
heartfire
i filled up my senses with thoughts from the ghosts
![[Image: avatar-1975.gif]](https://i.postimg.cc/8PxJp5dv/avatar-1975.gif){kind=avatar}
