Life is suffering;

[Castile]

and underneath the layers, I find myself asking what's left
a hollowed out form, the skeleton of a ghost, the pitiful echo of what once was

What happened to you?

Suspended in the air between them, Castile measures the question. There are so many ways that he can answer, including a dismissing snort or evasive change of conversation. He grapples with his memories as they flash like lightning every time he blinks. They play across the backs of his lids and bring to life the smoldering embers of his soul.

In the quiet that settles, Castile thumbs through what his life was, what it had become. Few things he did were truly good; he realizes that but there were blissful moments in the mayhem he helped to create.

He sees the faces of Sabra and Oceane, Sochi and Solace, Lepis and mother and father. He smells the smoldering ruins of Tephra and tastes the ash of Icicle Isle.

"I lost myself," he simply states, his voice flattened and hollow, as his eyes fall to the grass underfoot. The voice that once haunted him has since been subdued, tethered down with indestructible manacles (or so he assumes). It doesn't even raise its head when Castile reminisces. After so long of fighting, it has finally been subdued. Perhaps forever, perhaps not. Its eerie quiet unsettles Castile and a peculiar sense of loneliness suddenly washes across him. "I ruined everything," his family, his ability to be monogamous, his life. He has survived the consequences of his actions.

But he does not want pity. He doesn't even pity himself. Mistakes can be learned from. Life goes on.

"But I am alive and well," a lopsided grin cracks the stoicism of his face as his gaze dives deep into Ciri's. Their breaths mingle as she traces the gold banding across his muzzle. I am not a figment of your imagination, he doesn't say; this is truly me. With waning hesitation, Castile returns the gesture and slides his lips along the curve of her jaw. To touch her again, to be so near, enthralls him but he keeps level as though afraid she will again disappear. "And you? When did you become such a captivating star? "

castile