[open] youth would take the blame, any

[Selaphiel]

selaphiel

these days i don’t pray when i close my eyes

How desperately he wants to wilt beneath the intensity of her focus.
She looks at him as if she truly believes he has the answers she needs, studying him so intently that he feels laid bare beneath the scrutiny.

But he does not have the right answers, he knows that. And it becomes even more clear when the words come falling out of his mouth and the tone is apologetic and the brow is furrowed with worry and it doesn’t matter. Because it’s not what she’d needed to hear and he has failed at this, too. Just as he has failed at so many other things and he had come here to escape this horrible feeling and here it is again, even louder, and his breath hitches and his throat tightens while her eyes fill with tears. 

And he can’t help her. 
No matter how fiercely he wishes he could.

She is alive but he does not know what it means either and he can offer her no semblance of comfort. 

Then she apologizes to him and he opens his mouth to speak but no sound comes out at all. Not until she has already brushed past him and he has turned to watch her go and he says, “wait.” 

But she’s already gone. 

I just bite my tongue a bit harder

@Falter