When one of the twins stumbles, Mazikeen watches as Wishbone helps it and she does not understand the source of the sadness she feels. It does not seem fair, to be both sure that this is the right choice and also saddened by it. These twins will do better with Wishbone, with someone who has the instincts to be right there to help them, not Mazikeen who would have clumsily come to their aid a second or two later. She wonders if there will be a day when she has those mothering instincts but she quickly shuts down such thoughts. She can’t imagine a future where she wants to have any others or where it wouldn’t feel like she was replacing the ones she had willingly given up the chance to know.
At least it is a comfort to know she doesn’t sound completely insane and that her plan doesn’t immediately alarm her friend. Mazikeen had half been expecting to be told she’s a complete idiot but she gets some encouragement from Wishbone’s words - and tucks away the purple mare’s suggestion to look into the beginning of the Curse and try to find some clues there. Something to think about when her brain isn’t as foggy as it is now.
When Wishbone tells her that she does not have to do this alone, Mazikeen closes her eyes for a moment, wills the tears to go away and leave her alone. She doesn’t know how to explain that she feels like she should be strong enough to do this since it was her promise that had gotten her into this situation in the first place. No one else should have to get hurt because she couldn’t complete one little task - even if it had turned out far more complicated than she had ever imagined. But that was her fault too, wasn't it? If only she didn't have a heart that felt things so intensely, if only she had been able to hate Gale instead of love him. If only.
“I think I do.” She admits quietly, opening her eyes again only to look away from Wishbone to watch the twins play in the shallows as Mazikeen wades deeper in, letting the water wash away the surface-level hurt and knowing it can’t do anything for what lies deeper. She finds a small smile though, and looks back to her friend when she says “But I appreciate the offer all the same. My friend Sabal told me something similar.” She is lucky to have friends that want to help, even if she cannot justify to herself getting them more involved than they already are. Her orange eyes slide back to the playing foals and that smile brightens, becoming a little more real. “And you’re already helping me a great deal.”
@[Wishbone]