05-07-2021, 06:07 AM
Mazikeen
Revulsion hits her at the words and scent of blood on the breath that carries them, she feels bile rise in her mouth. What had the Curse been up to in Gale’s body last night? Mazikeen knows that’s the real line - the threat to others. She would not think it was time, not think things had become too much, for anything done to her. How could she, when any pain she experiences is her own fault for not being strong, fast, or smart enough to avoid it? How could she possibly think it was time when Gale had warned her she’d get hurt and she knew what she was getting into?
Even though she had not expected this at all. She had been thinking physical pain.
This is not Gale she tells herself as his body moves down hers, tracing her feathers and skin with its teeth and she can feel her body respond to this touch because it is familiar.
This is not Gale she shouts at herself when he is behind her, when she feels that tender kiss that is both sweet and cruel.
The words hurt more than the claws and there is a sharp intake of breath when they both dig in before a vicious snarl escapes her “I’m going to enjoy killing you one day.” Mazikeen is waiting for that white fury to overtake her, for her anger to swallow her up but when she reaches for it she can't grasp it. Maybe it is some stupid instinct that will keep her from tearing everything apart, including the children. So she burns alive on the inside instead, hatred for herself is outweighing her hatred for the Curse and it brings with it despair and shame. So much shame.
This is not Gale she says again when parts of her instinctively react positively to the familiar weight, even while her shoulders sting with pain and blood drips down them from the claws that are hooked in her flesh.
Her body burns with light the whole time, feeding off of the storm inside of her. And then - some of the cracks blink out of existence when she feels something break in her chest and in her mind, when she feels tears sting in her eyes and she closes them as a hollowness forms inside her where her fury had been.
This is too much to give but she knows she would make the same choice again if it buys Gale a little more time in the light. Knows that if there’s any truth behind the desire for her that this thing feels, she will continue to use all that she had to keep it from hurting anyone else.
But it is too much. She hopes Gale never forgives her because she will not deserve it. Not now.
Willpower keeps her from vomiting right there afterwards, keeps that crowned head held up high. Mazikeen cannot decide whether trying to turn to hide the tears is worse than letting them be seen so she keeps her eyes closed as she inhales deep, ragged breaths and asks herself just what the hell she’s doing.
Even though she had not expected this at all. She had been thinking physical pain.
This is not Gale she tells herself as his body moves down hers, tracing her feathers and skin with its teeth and she can feel her body respond to this touch because it is familiar.
This is not Gale she shouts at herself when he is behind her, when she feels that tender kiss that is both sweet and cruel.
The words hurt more than the claws and there is a sharp intake of breath when they both dig in before a vicious snarl escapes her “I’m going to enjoy killing you one day.” Mazikeen is waiting for that white fury to overtake her, for her anger to swallow her up but when she reaches for it she can't grasp it. Maybe it is some stupid instinct that will keep her from tearing everything apart, including the children. So she burns alive on the inside instead, hatred for herself is outweighing her hatred for the Curse and it brings with it despair and shame. So much shame.
This is not Gale she says again when parts of her instinctively react positively to the familiar weight, even while her shoulders sting with pain and blood drips down them from the claws that are hooked in her flesh.
Her body burns with light the whole time, feeding off of the storm inside of her. And then - some of the cracks blink out of existence when she feels something break in her chest and in her mind, when she feels tears sting in her eyes and she closes them as a hollowness forms inside her where her fury had been.
This is too much to give but she knows she would make the same choice again if it buys Gale a little more time in the light. Knows that if there’s any truth behind the desire for her that this thing feels, she will continue to use all that she had to keep it from hurting anyone else.
But it is too much. She hopes Gale never forgives her because she will not deserve it. Not now.
Willpower keeps her from vomiting right there afterwards, keeps that crowned head held up high. Mazikeen cannot decide whether trying to turn to hide the tears is worse than letting them be seen so she keeps her eyes closed as she inhales deep, ragged breaths and asks herself just what the hell she’s doing.
@[Gale]