— I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night —
She’s waiting, desperately waiting for something to click and for him to remember her. Like he just needed a moment to clear his head and it was all going to come back and he was going to be there, with her, once more. She doesn’t know how this happened, doesn’t know what magic has taken this peace from them. No, just from her. Because this is not a pain he is sharing with her.
Once he says them, she doesn’t hear what else he says, how he takes back those words.
You’re nothing to me
They rattle through her, branding themselves on every part of her he’s ever touched. She recoils sharply as if he'd struck her, though she would have preferred that. It would have been shocking coming from him, but she knew how to defend herself against that kind of strike. Agetta would be able to fight back against a physical blow.
You’re nothing to me
This is different. This is not a pain she has caused like she had with Plume. This is not something she has done at all - and after eons of shouldering the guilt for every single bad thing that has happened to her, Agetta does not know how to react to this blow. There’s nothing left for her to grasp at. It hollows her out with four simple words. She deserves this, she’s sure - but that doesn’t alleviate any of the pain in this moment. Her guilt never has.
She closes her eyes and stands there for a moment longer, but she can't think of anything else to say. There is no other fight to wage on behalf of what they had. She thinks she manages an “Okay” before she turns, not opening her eyes as she does - she's seen enough. She finds the ability to walk away from the one she has been trying so hard to find as if it doesn’t matter, as if she had been mistaken after all. But the weight of her life begins to descend on her then, dragged down by the grief.
@[garbage] I just want you to know that Grammarly thinks this post is "inspirational"