05-17-2021, 08:55 PM
I am too much. Far too much. There's noise in my head constantly; so much so that I can hardly sleep most nights. And when I do sleep, it's riddled with nightmares and uneasy dreams, and I awake more tired than I was in the first place.
There is so much in my mind that sometimes the only way to shut it up is to give in. I give in a lot. To violence and rage and simple meaness, to anything that brings me a modicum of relief. Relief that he's not giving me.
We are perhaps too similar in this way. Unwilling to bend. We'd rather break first. As I'm not looking to break tonight, it looks like we're at a stalemate, and that's worse than bitter war. Being bored leaves too much room for other things to creep inside and nest in my brain. So I smile coldly, the temperature between us dropping from frigid to sub-Arctic.
"I'm beginning to think it doesn't matter," I say, brittle as thin ice cracked underhoof. "I rarely do this, but I think I need to admit I was wrong about something." I rock back on my heels, turning to go. "I was mistaken in thinking there was any shred of life in you. Whatever magician animated your corpse did a piss poor job of it. You really should go and have them redo it properly. Or just have them undo it all together, for all the good you're doing walking about." I tsk at a job mucked up, icy pity gleaming in the depths of my broken-mirror eyes.
My moment of self reflection has gone. I don't see the resemblance between us as anything to remark on. He's a grey stone among millions, and I'm a gem in a mine, just waiting for the right hammer blow to bring me to life and light. Oh well.
@[Ashhal]
There is so much in my mind that sometimes the only way to shut it up is to give in. I give in a lot. To violence and rage and simple meaness, to anything that brings me a modicum of relief. Relief that he's not giving me.
We are perhaps too similar in this way. Unwilling to bend. We'd rather break first. As I'm not looking to break tonight, it looks like we're at a stalemate, and that's worse than bitter war. Being bored leaves too much room for other things to creep inside and nest in my brain. So I smile coldly, the temperature between us dropping from frigid to sub-Arctic.
"I'm beginning to think it doesn't matter," I say, brittle as thin ice cracked underhoof. "I rarely do this, but I think I need to admit I was wrong about something." I rock back on my heels, turning to go. "I was mistaken in thinking there was any shred of life in you. Whatever magician animated your corpse did a piss poor job of it. You really should go and have them redo it properly. Or just have them undo it all together, for all the good you're doing walking about." I tsk at a job mucked up, icy pity gleaming in the depths of my broken-mirror eyes.
My moment of self reflection has gone. I don't see the resemblance between us as anything to remark on. He's a grey stone among millions, and I'm a gem in a mine, just waiting for the right hammer blow to bring me to life and light. Oh well.
@[Ashhal]