[private] You've changed and it sucks

[Narcisus]

“Mother?” I asked incredulously. Mother? Why was that such a hard word to say? Why did it stumble off my tongue and shudder to a stop, and why did it have a way about it that revealed how insecure I truly was?

Mother?

Eyas, the mare spat back. My name is Eyas. She gave life to a word I’d known only as a foal, and then killed it in the same expert stroke of cruel intentions. There was ice in her voice, in her mannerisms - no warmth for the child long lost many years ago. I stepped forward to the sound of her teeth clacking together, snap snap! A warning to tread no closer, so I stopped. But why? Why should I? “I’ve been looking for you for so long-” I told her, breathlessly.

I know. Came her reply, and it was just as hateful as anything else she’d said to me so far. I didn’t understand… why the animosity? Why wasn’t she holding me, why wasn’t she crying? I’d searched the world over as far as I could, flown every single day when the light had dawned in order to find her. Asked a thousand questions and then a thousand more with no success. And all this time… she knew?

“Why?” I asked her, starting to pant. I could feel something burning in my gut, something growing and making my insides tremble. My cheeks were flush and unseen in the dark, and I could feel the tingling sensation of a hundred tiny limbs scurrying over my skin. Uncomfortable. I was starting to get angry with her - with this mare. “Why didn’t you come back?” I wanted to know. She owed me that, at least.

You’re a monster, Narc. She spat at me. An evil little wretch. I’m glad I can’t see you now, or else I’d be fooled into loving you all over again, but I always knew what you were in my heart. She told me, and I could hear the sound of rustling feathers in the long night. So I left you. But you couldn’t stay away, could you? You had to come here of all places. You couldn’t just disappear. Eyas said, and every word felt like a stinging lash against my hide. I thought she would finish then. I thought the worst was said, over and done with, but apparently I was wrong.

You’re a bastard-born, inbred demon and you will never be a son of mine. I refuse you, Narcisus. Her voice lowered. She stepped forward; I reeled backwards. I banish you. Do you hear me? She insisted, and at first I didn’t get the hint. My skin was crawling, itching, uncomfortable. I wanted to tear it off.

I said, I banish you. Get out. She snarled. Get out of here. Get off of this Island and never come back. Eyas hissed, the sound of a viper rearing its head for the strike, and I felt powerless against her decree. I unfurled my wings and stumbled backwards into the darkness, tripping over vines and pulling myself away from the void that sneered back in the dark. The cackle and chitter of night creatures loomed over me, but they were a welcome reprieve from the hate I couldn’t see with my own eyes.

If you return, I’ll kill you. She threatened at last, but I was already flapping my way through the impenetrable jungle, fighting my way through the canopy out toward the dark sky where I could breath again and choke away the tears.

She might be right; I may be a monster, just inbred bastard blood, but Eyas was wrong about one thing: I would return, and when I did… it would be her life I took instead.

Narcisus