01-04-2021, 02:10 AM
He surprises her, as he nearly always does. She has known him for so long that sometimes she reflexively remembers the Atrox from before. The one that would have considered this her problem, the one that would have chosen to pretend to not care even if he secretly did. She had grown so accustomed to doing these things on her own; even with Skellig, who was just as prone to disappearing as she was. Everything she’d ever had that could resemble a family has always been makeshift and flimsy, and always with the notion that it would be short-lived.
She is still adjusting to the idea that for once she is not alone.
And she is still, in moments like this, surprised – in the best way – that he, of everyone, has turned into the least likely to let her down.
“No,” she rejects both of his offers gently, because she knows they are only for her benefit. He doesn’t want to leave Hyaline, just as much as she does not want to. She knew that they had both struggled to find a place that felt like home in this newer Beqanna; they had both lived in Tephra and had no issues with leaving it behind. Hyaline is what had turned into theirs, and not even Breach had been able to change that.
Leaning into his touch she reaches just enough to run her nose down his throat, a pensive silence before she says, “I can take them to Tephra, and stay just for a little while. Nightlock and Wonder still live there, and I know they won't mind.” She ushers away the guilt rising in her chest by reminding herself that soon, the twins would be a year old, and they wouldn’t need them, and likely wouldn’t have wanted to stay in Hyaline to begin with – not when there was so much of the world to see.
In the wake of the heaviness she smiles, though, a smile that she presses into the curve of his neck where she murmurs, “I don’t deserve you.” She has done nothing to deserve a man like him, and she knows this all too well. And after a lifetime of mistakes and breaking promises she never intended to keep, there is still the fear of karma finally hunting her down to tear him away from her.
She is still adjusting to the idea that for once she is not alone.
And she is still, in moments like this, surprised – in the best way – that he, of everyone, has turned into the least likely to let her down.
“No,” she rejects both of his offers gently, because she knows they are only for her benefit. He doesn’t want to leave Hyaline, just as much as she does not want to. She knew that they had both struggled to find a place that felt like home in this newer Beqanna; they had both lived in Tephra and had no issues with leaving it behind. Hyaline is what had turned into theirs, and not even Breach had been able to change that.
Leaning into his touch she reaches just enough to run her nose down his throat, a pensive silence before she says, “I can take them to Tephra, and stay just for a little while. Nightlock and Wonder still live there, and I know they won't mind.” She ushers away the guilt rising in her chest by reminding herself that soon, the twins would be a year old, and they wouldn’t need them, and likely wouldn’t have wanted to stay in Hyaline to begin with – not when there was so much of the world to see.
In the wake of the heaviness she smiles, though, a smile that she presses into the curve of his neck where she murmurs, “I don’t deserve you.” She has done nothing to deserve a man like him, and she knows this all too well. And after a lifetime of mistakes and breaking promises she never intended to keep, there is still the fear of karma finally hunting her down to tear him away from her.
R y A t A h
and you can aim for my heart, go for blood
but you would still miss me in your bones
but you would still miss me in your bones