01-12-2021, 01:53 PM
despite the overwhelming odds, tomorrow came
I had known that Yanhua had a lot of love to give. That’s a big reason I had fallen in love with him in the first place. I had never known love before him. I guess I had not expected to share that love with another, though, and when I had found out about Amarine in the beginning, it felt like a betrayal. I guess I wasn’t as wise to look at things the way she did. Instead, I had run from it, thinking that it couldn’t be love if there was another.
You see, I had never had a family before, at least not one that I could (or would) call that. And when I’d fallen in love with the chestnut stallion, I’d expected that to be my family…and mine alone. That’s how I had envisioned things: Yanhua returning home from his trips to be by my side, laughing and playing with Memorie and any future children we might have, spending ever day and night together, every waking minute that we possibly could. It felt right.
So when I’d found out that there was another, all of those hopes and dreams came crashing down on my head in a way that left indelible scars upon my heart. It would always hurt that I would have to share that love, but in time, I think I could make peace with that. After all, Yan had plenty of love to give with his huge heart. At least I am willing to give it a try (though I would still need time to come to grips with it).
It makes me happy that @[Amarine] had sought me out today, to show me that there was more to this growing family than the heartache that surrounded the disaster that was Yanhua and I. It makes me happy that she wants to build a happier future in which we all benefit. I could see myself being good friends with this mare who I was inclined to hate in the beginning–before I had known her. After all, it was not her fault that Yan’s heart was too big to contain to one relationship. And I was starting to see that.
Her question definitely peeks my interest. Den mate? A month ago, I would not have entertained the idea of sharing a den with someone I felt had stolen the affections I so desperately desired, but now? Now that I had met and could appreciate Amarine for the kind soul she was, I could definitely see this working to our benefit. I laugh softly at the idea of the stallion being left to share a bed by himself. “I wasn’t before now, but I think I am now.” I wink mischievously.
You see, I had never had a family before, at least not one that I could (or would) call that. And when I’d fallen in love with the chestnut stallion, I’d expected that to be my family…and mine alone. That’s how I had envisioned things: Yanhua returning home from his trips to be by my side, laughing and playing with Memorie and any future children we might have, spending ever day and night together, every waking minute that we possibly could. It felt right.
So when I’d found out that there was another, all of those hopes and dreams came crashing down on my head in a way that left indelible scars upon my heart. It would always hurt that I would have to share that love, but in time, I think I could make peace with that. After all, Yan had plenty of love to give with his huge heart. At least I am willing to give it a try (though I would still need time to come to grips with it).
It makes me happy that @[Amarine] had sought me out today, to show me that there was more to this growing family than the heartache that surrounded the disaster that was Yanhua and I. It makes me happy that she wants to build a happier future in which we all benefit. I could see myself being good friends with this mare who I was inclined to hate in the beginning–before I had known her. After all, it was not her fault that Yan’s heart was too big to contain to one relationship. And I was starting to see that.
Her question definitely peeks my interest. Den mate? A month ago, I would not have entertained the idea of sharing a den with someone I felt had stolen the affections I so desperately desired, but now? Now that I had met and could appreciate Amarine for the kind soul she was, I could definitely see this working to our benefit. I laugh softly at the idea of the stallion being left to share a bed by himself. “I wasn’t before now, but I think I am now.” I wink mischievously.
borderline
