[private] ive never fallen from quite this high | aegean

[aegean]

Aegean

I should have loved a thunderbird instead
at least when spring comes they roar back again

It doesn’t feel real. It’s difficult to think of how it ever could.

Before him, he sees something that he has spent so long imagining, dreaming of, longing for, and he doesn’t have the slightest idea on how to make it feel real. It crashes in his lungs until he struggles to breathe, as if his very tongue has grown swollen and his throat closed up. He shakes his glowing head and then opens his eyes again, as though he would be able to shake away this illusion that he doesn’t control.

Except it doesn’t work.

Because it isn’t an illusion, and because Pteron is real.

Aegean takes a deep breath that he feels penetrate every inch of him, flooding him with oxygen until he is nearly dizzy with relief. There is a laugh that feels so very distant from him, floating above him as though he had not made the noise at all. “I haven’t missed you,” he says quietly, before shaking his antlered head again. “I mean,” he struggles for words for the first time in his life—trying to find the right way to say what he needs to say. Struggling to put to form the things that he feels beat like a drum in his chest.

“It has been so much more than that.”

How could he possibly put to words the ache that he has felt since he last saw the other? How much he has dreamt of him? How it has felt like surviving on no air, no water, no food. He feels starved and shaken and he knows he just a few feet from reaching out and touching the very thing that would give him sustenance. “My illusions do you no justice,” he manages, his voice hoarse. 

“I have tried very hard though.”

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

@[Pteron]