there are reasons to leave; castile

[sochi]

sochi

Sochi did not think she would ever find this. In truth, she hadn’t wanted it. She had wanted the freedom and the ease of life of a predator. She had never wanted to feel the weight, the gravity, that can come with such things. She had never wanted to feel that vulnerable ever again. But Castile had somehow worked his way into her heart of stone before she had even been able to protect against him.

At first, it had simply been the companionship that came from looking at another predator in the eye and not feeling the need to apologize for what she was. Then, the kinship of standing by his side against his enemies and feeling the mirror of the battle drum in her heart in his own. Then, the warmth of raising a child together—fierce and wonderful Reia. Companionship, desire, friendship—all of it melding.

Before she knew it, it was more.

It was more and she was able to let it sink into her bones without fracturing them. She was able to let it slip through her veins without feeling like he needed her to change; like he wanted her different.

And now? Now she knows what it is to let him see her broken. To feel the armor slip away and be raw and vulnerable before him, pressing her head into the thickly roped muscles of his neck and feel his wing slip across her back. She is shaking, she thinks, and she wonders if she will ever be able to remember that day without feeling that strange mixture of fear and rage and the ever-present need for revenge.

But in his embrace, it at least fades.

Enough that the tremors slowly die and she is able to lift her head and press scarred lips into the curve of his jaw. Her teeth skim down his handsome, gilded face to his mouth where she presses another kiss. “Come with me,” she asks—feeling that faint discomfort from being vulnerable, from asking.

“I—I just need it to be over with.”

There are other things she wants to say, wants to confess, but she holds them back for now. Not here, she thinks, glancing down to the filly on the ground with confusion in her black, depthless eyes. Not now, she thinks, but when her silver eyes sweep back up to him and her chest tightens, she knows: soon.

well, I can try to get you closer but I know you’d break your neck just to see the stars
and if we don’t dare to hold it then this reckless wandering love was never ours

@[Castile] excuse me while i go cry