07-17-2019, 11:07 AM
Ilma
One night I will be the moon
hanging over you
One night I will be a star
follow where you are
hanging over you
One night I will be a star
follow where you are
Sometimes the rise of one means the fall of another - fates bound together in a way she couldn’t get a grip on. Whatever satisfaction he had found in crumbling the sanctuary, the impact on her had been equally negative. She’d taken the fall as gracefully as she could. Which had meant she could not stay in any sort of position. Which had meant for her to go down with the ship.
The common lands are her only homes, now. If one could call those a home - but they are the only neutral ground in an endlessly changing world. For a former leader and teacher of new leaders, that is the only thing she can cling to; her neutrality. Her ability to stay away.
Having been a diplomat for so long, she’s befriended many a horse in her prime, and had been proud of her ability to do so. Magnus, who later became Tephra’s leader, and Leliana; Castile, who took over Loess (though their relationship had earned it’s fair share of cracks). Her own queens, of course, Solace more notably due to their more similar personalities - for Kagerus she had a similar respect, but Ilma has also had to try to overcome the differences with the new near-enemies the woman could sometimes make. Breckin, ruler of Nerine for a time, and Heartfire whom she had only briefly visited to show her willingness to stay in good relations.
For Ilma, in that regard, taking up the seat of the Silver Cove’s caretaker for a year - just a year - had not seemed too hard.
That was until friends, foes and heirs decided all had to be changed in that short year, of course. Horses stolen without any form of an excuse or even some sort of payment in like, proposals of cease-fires that she never made due to internal struggle in her kingdom - an heir and a spiteful territory leader - and even after she’d stepped away from all of it, her friends and their kingdoms, going at each other.
She’d wondered if it was just bad timing, or if she’d earned all that somehow. By not being quick enough. Not approachable enough. Not likeable enough.
Or perhaps she just failed at the game, whatever that was.
But none of that mattered now. She could induce all the peaceful feelings she wanted, she could befriend as many horses as she could, or share visions of what she had once hoped to achieve in the East - and the effort would still not be enough. She could be a mother, a teacher, and advisor - but nobody wanted to have her in that role. Solace and Kagerus had placed her in such a role, a teacher of diplomatics for the young ones that Hyaline had been rich with at the time. But Ilma felt she no longer fit in a world like this.
She had retreated just before all hell broke loose. She couldn’t bring herself to interfere - it wouldn’t have done her or anyone, any good - so why bother? She ignored all of it - accepted the fact that she had been tossed out like a used tool, and a broken one at that.
Lately, even the caves in Hyaline couldn’t provide her a home. Kingdoms shifted, allegiance changed - and out she went, not looking back.
Both of them had grown, in their time apart. Castile earlier than she, perhaps, or faster, from being broken earlier. She could recognize that now - now that she had broken in another, yet so similar way. To the core.
From there, there had been only time alone that could heal her and help her grow. As such, now she no longer interfered, not out of spite like earlier, but from self-protection, and love for others. She didn’t want to hurt them. She didn’t want to hurt herself in the process of accidentally hurting them.
So she grazed, and helped advise those in the Field who were looking for a home. Not in directly pointing them at a kingdom, simply by making them tell themselves what they were looking for. Different, yet the same.
So when the smell of the dragon-horse neared her, when his voice reached her ears, she did not flinch, but looked at him a while, as if studying him. A small smile crept onto her face when he named her stranger, the irony being that the joke was so close to the truth.
But at his question, her smile lost the laugh in her eyes, and she shook her head. ”I had nothing to return to.” Matter-of-factly, she tells him what it was, what if is. There is no blame, no sadness left - she’d left that in a Hyaline cave, never to be found again. Besides, if it hadn’t been him or his new friends, it would have been someone else, no doubt.
She nods absentmindedly at his welcoming back. She supposes he has a right to say that, knowing about how many lands he now rules or influences in some way. A thought occurs in that absent nod, and the amber orbs turn back to the mismatched gaze. ”What did you think would become of me?” she wants to know. Of all the things she could be… had he ever had a place in mind for her in his perfect world?
The common lands are her only homes, now. If one could call those a home - but they are the only neutral ground in an endlessly changing world. For a former leader and teacher of new leaders, that is the only thing she can cling to; her neutrality. Her ability to stay away.
Having been a diplomat for so long, she’s befriended many a horse in her prime, and had been proud of her ability to do so. Magnus, who later became Tephra’s leader, and Leliana; Castile, who took over Loess (though their relationship had earned it’s fair share of cracks). Her own queens, of course, Solace more notably due to their more similar personalities - for Kagerus she had a similar respect, but Ilma has also had to try to overcome the differences with the new near-enemies the woman could sometimes make. Breckin, ruler of Nerine for a time, and Heartfire whom she had only briefly visited to show her willingness to stay in good relations.
For Ilma, in that regard, taking up the seat of the Silver Cove’s caretaker for a year - just a year - had not seemed too hard.
That was until friends, foes and heirs decided all had to be changed in that short year, of course. Horses stolen without any form of an excuse or even some sort of payment in like, proposals of cease-fires that she never made due to internal struggle in her kingdom - an heir and a spiteful territory leader - and even after she’d stepped away from all of it, her friends and their kingdoms, going at each other.
She’d wondered if it was just bad timing, or if she’d earned all that somehow. By not being quick enough. Not approachable enough. Not likeable enough.
Or perhaps she just failed at the game, whatever that was.
But none of that mattered now. She could induce all the peaceful feelings she wanted, she could befriend as many horses as she could, or share visions of what she had once hoped to achieve in the East - and the effort would still not be enough. She could be a mother, a teacher, and advisor - but nobody wanted to have her in that role. Solace and Kagerus had placed her in such a role, a teacher of diplomatics for the young ones that Hyaline had been rich with at the time. But Ilma felt she no longer fit in a world like this.
She had retreated just before all hell broke loose. She couldn’t bring herself to interfere - it wouldn’t have done her or anyone, any good - so why bother? She ignored all of it - accepted the fact that she had been tossed out like a used tool, and a broken one at that.
Lately, even the caves in Hyaline couldn’t provide her a home. Kingdoms shifted, allegiance changed - and out she went, not looking back.
Both of them had grown, in their time apart. Castile earlier than she, perhaps, or faster, from being broken earlier. She could recognize that now - now that she had broken in another, yet so similar way. To the core.
From there, there had been only time alone that could heal her and help her grow. As such, now she no longer interfered, not out of spite like earlier, but from self-protection, and love for others. She didn’t want to hurt them. She didn’t want to hurt herself in the process of accidentally hurting them.
So she grazed, and helped advise those in the Field who were looking for a home. Not in directly pointing them at a kingdom, simply by making them tell themselves what they were looking for. Different, yet the same.
So when the smell of the dragon-horse neared her, when his voice reached her ears, she did not flinch, but looked at him a while, as if studying him. A small smile crept onto her face when he named her stranger, the irony being that the joke was so close to the truth.
But at his question, her smile lost the laugh in her eyes, and she shook her head. ”I had nothing to return to.” Matter-of-factly, she tells him what it was, what if is. There is no blame, no sadness left - she’d left that in a Hyaline cave, never to be found again. Besides, if it hadn’t been him or his new friends, it would have been someone else, no doubt.
She nods absentmindedly at his welcoming back. She supposes he has a right to say that, knowing about how many lands he now rules or influences in some way. A thought occurs in that absent nod, and the amber orbs turn back to the mismatched gaze. ”What did you think would become of me?” she wants to know. Of all the things she could be… had he ever had a place in mind for her in his perfect world?
Hurry, the sun is waking
Darling, don't leave me waiting
Darling, don't leave me waiting
She totally took my post and ran with it so... here’s feels. Or not-feels. Idk what it is.
Any fool knows men and women think differently at times, but the biggest difference is this: men forget, but never forgive; women forgive, but never forget.
Robert Jordan, Wheel of Time