you could break my heart in two, but when it heals, it beats for you
It is what she wants. Kensa is relieved by his words, his voice softer and deep as calm waters. Its good she knows that beneath that is an undertow, a riptide that wants to all but drown her before throwing her back to shore diminished. Something has been taken from her, punishment for not listening to all the honesty he has given her and Kensa does not want to make the mistake again. Brigade at least can turn her away when she loses her head again.
Even though the sound of his voice ensnares her and summons a burn low in her belly.
If she touches him again she’ll lose all of the cold strength and dignity she’s managed in this encounter. No matter the temptation to brush a goodbye over his muzzle, a fuck you to make herself sick on, she needs to just walk away. Don’t even look at him again.
Kensa’s legs don’t want to move but she forces them to. They are long legs, fine but not frail, they have been pale all her life (despite how the rest of her has changed), lightly feathered at the fetlock, coronets of gold or chestnut above pale hooves. She watches her foot settle on frosted earth and if it takes a thousand steps to get herself home she will count every one to drown out her desperate heart.
When he says it she knows she should dismiss him but instead she breaks. Kensa breaks all the way down to her most honest and vulnerable self and she will hate him for it if she survives this. No one is supposed to see her like this but still she raises her head, lets herself see the violent hearts-blood beauty of him and she begs. “Please Brigade.”
“Please…” dont, but she doesn’t ever get the rest of it out. Kensa’s throat closes against asking him not to drag her in. The breeze that races and switchbacks through the hills whips her mane around her face and twists her tail about her cannons. Topaz eyes, wet once more, cannot be torn from his face. How easily she could have gone home, escaped without ever meeting him again and now Kensa only understands that she will never be free.
How desperately she wants to never be free.
Kensa
@[brigade]
