— I'll break you a hundred different ways —
He tried to not look at the colt that she ushered between them, but he doesn’t flinch away. He lets her encourage him beneath his wing, where ash and rain both fell, and he steels himself against the urge to move. He still has not fully accepted that this boy was his; that he had somehow aided in creating him, and in turn, killing his mother. His lack of acceptance made it easy to keep his suspicions from Wonder, at least. Lying to himself canceled out the fact that he was lying to her, in a sense. But she had been so devoted to the boy from the moment she had found him that he knew he could never tell her, and in that same line of thought, he would have to accept Choke if he wanted her. And so he protects him, but only because she asks him to.
The feel of her pressing into him almost makes him forget why he came. Even though they are submerged in darkness, even though the air is thick with smoke and the cries of the war echo in his ears, all he can feel is how soft her lips are against his skin. It stirs something inside of him, as it always does. A sort of longing, but it twists inside of him like a knife, knowing that he shouldn’t feel it. But even knowing this, he lowers his head, and he brushes her red forelock from her pale green eyes. In the impossible darkness they are far more muted, but he doesn’t need to see them to know they are beautiful. He has seen her eyes in his memories every day that he was gone, most often creeping on him at most unexpected times. He can hear the uncertainty in her voice, and he knows those lovely eyes are watching him in a way that he doesn’t deserve.
“I did,” he begins, brushing his nose across the armor of her forehead, and trailing downwards to trace the flat of her cheek. The rain has soaked him to his skin, and it caused the ash that continued to fall to cling to him – his mane, his wings, across his back. She, too, smells of smoke and fire, mingled with her usual sweetness and the coppery scent of her raw skin that borders her bone. “I won’t leave you here.” He pauses for a moment, stealing a glance down to the boy still curled beneath his wing,
and he adds, if only to appease her, “Or him.” He pushes against her again, doing his best to urge her towards the Tephran border. He can feel her hesitate, he could sense it in her voice earlier, and so he adds a bit more firmly, searching for her eyes through the dark, “There’s nothing you can do, Wonder. And I’m not going to let you die trying to save a kingdom that’s already lost.”
— and I'll make you remember my face —
