and let me crawl inside your veins. I'll build a wall, give you a ball and chain.
She had thought revenge would be the answer, but it wasn’t.
She can’t say that she regrets what happened in Sylva – she wasn’t really one for such an emotion. When she had fled Loess that night, that hadn’t been her intention, but once the path had lead her that way, she hadn’t turned back. But that feeling of satisfaction was fleeting. That feeling of knowing another was touching her in a way that only Ophanim had touched her – not nearly quite so loving, but instead something ferocious and carnal – had briefly satiated her uncontrollable hurt and betrayal, like a balm across a burn. But it wore off. Faster than she anticipated. And when all she was left with was crushing guilt, she found herself wondering how he had done that to her more than once.
The only conclusion she came to was that he didn’t really feel bad at all. He had fucked someone – she isn’t even sure who – and then he had done it again, and again, and again. And she, the one that was so good at playing games and sacrificing other’s feelings to save her own, wasn’t even strong enough to do something like that. Just as she had realized long ago, Ophanim was her weakness. He was the one thing she couldn’t shake, the one that could cut her to her core and strip her down to something meek and defenseless.
She watches them as they walk across the snowy plain, and the sight of Malone is the only thing capable of making her heart feel whole. He was flawless. There was no other word to describe him. She moves to meet them halfway, and she tenses when Ophanim reaches for her. She does not have to read his mind to know that he knows. She feels him hesitate and withdraw, and when their eyes briefly meet, she sees a familiar look – the exact one she had worn when she had first realized what he had done. But she casts her gaze away from him, lowering her head to caress her lips against Malone’s forehead. “Look how handsome you are, my sweet boy,” she coos into his short mane, and there is a pang in her chest when Ophanim suggests that he go play. She can sense Malone’s hesitation, and pressing her lips once more into his neck she thinks silently to him, Everything’s okay. Go.
It is only once Malone is gone that her demeanor changes. Her body straightens, her cool eyes finding Ophanim’s face. And again she finds it impossible to be harsh and stoic beneath his melancholy stare, and just slightly, she softens. “You have nothing to apologize for.” She watches as the black encroaches across his light, like a storm rolling across the sun. She shifts closer, her silver lips gently pressing into his cheek, before slowly sliding up to rest near his ear as she says in a voice that is hardly above a whisper, “I suppose this means we’re even now.” When she pulls back, her blue eyes are hard, nearly daring him to shame her for what she did.
starsin
it’s not like me to be so mean. you’re all I wanted.
( just let me hold you Like a hostage. )
@[Ophanim]
