and let me crawl inside your veins. I'll build a wall, give you a ball and chain.
Even though she had tried to ignore it, she had actually been terrified of becoming a mother. She was used to being in control, of at least having an idea of the direction she was steering things. But when it came to motherhood, she hadn’t a clue what to expect. Her mother didn’t raise her. Her mother barely kept her alive, and for most part just turned her loose on the world to fend for herself. She had learned from a young age how to fight to survive; how to become something sweet and compliant so that someone might take pity on her. It was easy, being able to read their thoughts, and to fit herself into whatever box they wished she was in.
She didn’t want to be like that with him, and she didn’t ever want him to feel like he had to act like something he wasn’t in order to be accepted.
Her lips have not left the little boy’s skin since he had been born, and even after he was dry and clean her muzzle remained buried in his baby-soft fur. Almost reluctantly, she gathers her own legs beneath her, finally tearing herself from him to press her lips into Ophanim’s neck. She leans into him, and for the first time she seems to have forgotten how tumultuous they had been not long ago. “He looks like you,” she says softly, her blue eyes still staring in wonder and amazement at what they had created, before adding with a small laugh. “Except for the stars...I guess that came from me.” And the mind reading, but she doesn’t say it out loud. She had sensed it, as soon as she had looked at him. Their minds were seemingly intertwined, and with the exception of meeting the magician at the river, it was not something she had ever experienced before. She couldn’t deny that she was incredibly pleased that her own child had inherited it.
With her cheek resting against Ophanim’s golden neck, she stares down at the colt with a quiet, thoughtful expression. “I want to name him Malone,” there is a decisiveness to her voice, but she catches herself. She feels like maybe one of the things that had driven him away was how brisk and demanding she could be, and her blue eyes find his as she adds quieter, and more uncertainly, “If you like that name, I mean.” Her heart gives an odd pang in her chest, but she steels it away, suddenly second-guessing everything about herself but refusing to let it show.
starsin
it’s not like me to be so mean. you’re all I wanted.
( just let me hold you Like a hostage. )
