I could still feel it, the way the rain had scattered into my coat, soaked me to the bone. I hadn't sought to shelter when Kagerus left. Instead, I had stood on the beach, watching the moon fade from view and drops of water fracture the stars reflected on the bay. I had stood there until the rain stopped, not thinking, just feeling.
The rain flowed down and around my body, cleaning away scents of brimstone and shame, replacing them with clean ozone and fresh air. When dawn filled the clouds with cacophony color, I was freezing, shivering, sickening, but I could breath again. I could breath. With breathing came thinking, and I found myself able to reflect without much pain. I could know my worth, even if others didn't. Live and learn, isn't that what they say? I had lived, I didn't regret any of it. Not really. But I had learned as well. Learned well enough to know that I would not be used again.
Kagerus and Solace, paired queens whose generosity had saved me more than once. I owed them much for allowing me asylum in dark times, and for the love and care I now knew my son to be recieving in their land. Raul had done me proud in his life away from my side, finding a home and perhaps a heart to care for. I had seen him briefly some days since my arrival, and we had exchanged stories of where fate had led us in the last year. I was satisfied with his contentment.
I am not like my son.
Home does not drag at my feet. Even here, where I have friends and now a son to draw me back, I cannot call it mine. The wind and sky call me softly, and louder when I cannot sleep. I am not grounded in Silver Cove long before I'm once more drawn into the air, flying in any direction but west. South, then. Until the trees grow thick and gilded, and the scent of decaying leaves bedecks the breeze. Lungs full of the odor expand my chest to bursting until my feet once more touch earth.
This time of year I can't help but think of my time in Sylva when i walk the woods. The marbled colors fill my vision and bring a sense of peace to my tumultuous heart. After a while, something like happiness begins to raise its head, sniffing the air with hope. The glimmer of emotion scurried back into its hole as an unfamiliar voice broke the stillness.
Glittering blue eyes focused sharply on the form emerging from the wood, as golden-dark as our surroundings. Immediate anxiety pulses through me at the sight of him, preparedness to take flight should he prove unfriendly. But it is only a greeting he offers me. Just that. I sternly order myself to relax, my face thawing from frigid scowl to an uneasy smile. It does not quite reach my eyes. He may well be a harmless passerby making conversation, but I would not bet anything valuable on it.
Still, I suppose the niceties must be observed. My head dips slightly, not breaking eye contact when I do. The lattice scars along my face and shoulders flicker nervously, making my skin itch with unspent energy. "Magnus. My name is Sabra, and I am well. How do you fare?" I asked, politely mirroring his own question. Stimulating conversation, wasn't it?
@[magnus]
The rain flowed down and around my body, cleaning away scents of brimstone and shame, replacing them with clean ozone and fresh air. When dawn filled the clouds with cacophony color, I was freezing, shivering, sickening, but I could breath again. I could breath. With breathing came thinking, and I found myself able to reflect without much pain. I could know my worth, even if others didn't. Live and learn, isn't that what they say? I had lived, I didn't regret any of it. Not really. But I had learned as well. Learned well enough to know that I would not be used again.
Kagerus and Solace, paired queens whose generosity had saved me more than once. I owed them much for allowing me asylum in dark times, and for the love and care I now knew my son to be recieving in their land. Raul had done me proud in his life away from my side, finding a home and perhaps a heart to care for. I had seen him briefly some days since my arrival, and we had exchanged stories of where fate had led us in the last year. I was satisfied with his contentment.
I am not like my son.
Home does not drag at my feet. Even here, where I have friends and now a son to draw me back, I cannot call it mine. The wind and sky call me softly, and louder when I cannot sleep. I am not grounded in Silver Cove long before I'm once more drawn into the air, flying in any direction but west. South, then. Until the trees grow thick and gilded, and the scent of decaying leaves bedecks the breeze. Lungs full of the odor expand my chest to bursting until my feet once more touch earth.
This time of year I can't help but think of my time in Sylva when i walk the woods. The marbled colors fill my vision and bring a sense of peace to my tumultuous heart. After a while, something like happiness begins to raise its head, sniffing the air with hope. The glimmer of emotion scurried back into its hole as an unfamiliar voice broke the stillness.
Glittering blue eyes focused sharply on the form emerging from the wood, as golden-dark as our surroundings. Immediate anxiety pulses through me at the sight of him, preparedness to take flight should he prove unfriendly. But it is only a greeting he offers me. Just that. I sternly order myself to relax, my face thawing from frigid scowl to an uneasy smile. It does not quite reach my eyes. He may well be a harmless passerby making conversation, but I would not bet anything valuable on it.
Still, I suppose the niceties must be observed. My head dips slightly, not breaking eye contact when I do. The lattice scars along my face and shoulders flicker nervously, making my skin itch with unspent energy. "Magnus. My name is Sabra, and I am well. How do you fare?" I asked, politely mirroring his own question. Stimulating conversation, wasn't it?
@[magnus]