"Sure you will." She was already exasperated with him and he grinned, leaning against her more and stealing a little nip on her neck. He loved that irritation. "You're so stubborn. Just let her heal you." He grunted, smirking but not commenting. Then he listened to her describe Leliana's happiness.
He frowned as she spoke. If Leliana was truly happy, it would be more obvious. His face hardened and he looked away when she mentioned the steal, that her father had taken him from his other children. Brazen, Dagen and Briella hadn't had the choice but to come too. They'd been left in his care while Heartfire took care of things elsewhere and had no one else to watch them.
"My dad said that you could leave once you apologized to her."
He scowled harder.
"Why do you need to apologize? Why don't you want to be near us?"
He stood abruptly, catching himself as his vision went suddenly white. The damn air felt like a million needles as he sucked in a breath, but he pushed himself forward through it, stalking a line then pacing back. His nostrils flared and his chest burned. He wouldn't apologize, not unless that gold jerk dared to split his family further. Then he'd be out of here before there was even news of a steal at all. He'd done nothing wrong, nothing but try to protect her. In this instance, at least.
It didn't bother him to share it with Adna. He no longer cared.
He paced a few times then stopped before her, turning his face to glance at her then away again with a sigh. The lines of his body softened only slightly, and his voice was quiet. "Her husband found me one day and offered me a visit, that she would like to see me again. I declined. And told him to tell her I was dead." He looked at her again. "I take it he didn't like that answer too much. Doesn't seem to like hearing no when someone doesn't want to fall into line for him."
His steps brought him back to her again and he lowered himself to her side where he'd been before. "She was with me through the start of the plague. I thought we were going to stay together, but I was wrong. Then she was gone. And she never came back." He watched the darkness ahead of them. She returned to her husband, of course. Her family. What had he even been thinking? As if she'd ever stay with him, even for protection and companionship. It would never be him.
"I am dead to her and I told him as much in fewer words. What was the harm in letting him confirm it for her."
Blood dribbled from his nose and he sniffed, wiped it on his foreleg. His eyes caught on a small rock, feeling the agitation building in him with aggression and he tossed it away with a jerk of his muzzle, sending it skittering away. "I don't want to be here," he growled. "I don't want to be forced to see her happy with someone else. It is cruel to take me from my newborns. They'll be a year old by the time I get to see them again, maybe with a different dad. Won't even fuckin' know me.
"And it's cruel to make me watch her. She should've been mine. You should've been mine."
we're slaves to any semblance of touch
Lord, we should quit but we love it too much
