Leilan
Glaciers melting in the dead of night
and the superstars sucked into the supermassive
and the superstars sucked into the supermassive
The icy plain still shows a hole; rubble and debris have been scattered by Heartfire’s shockwave, and then some of it by wind and ice. Look, there’s a dried patch of blood still - can’t say if it’s his or someone else’s though. The scaled roan has been staring at the place, coming back here every now and then for some time now; sometimes pacing, sometimes just turning to stare at it, only to shake his head and move on - now he finds himself back here again, as if the answer to the problem was in here.
Over the course of the last month, so much has changed in his life - so much has broken, also. Heartfire was broken - he saw it, when she joined the ever-growing group on this isle here and disintegrated this piece of ground - Brennen was broken - left a kingdom behind because he perhaps, did not want to keep it up just for others who didn’t mind if he did or not; instead choosing for a family like Leilan had already done earlier - Castile was broken - torn apart by the death of a rapist and murderer that he’d caused - Breckin was broken - torn between those wanting to choose safety of a Plague, and those wanting to stay home - himself? Scattered into a million pieces, as much as his family and friends. Can’t help them all at once if they’re so scattered.
He’d come here to secure a safe place, and in it had found his natural habitat, so to say; both literally and figuratively because, he was ice in all his being but he also just wanted to make this a new chapter of his life and yes, being around so many leaders, he knows he can do it too, and prove himself a better man. Grown, instead of lingering in childish behavior; too stubborn to hopefully let power get to his head (like it had Wolfbane and Arthas, as is his personal opinion).
A home to start anew - a nee chapter in his life. Where he could offer safety for those who needed it, and perhaps if they wanted him to, he could lead them but if not, he’d be the first to vote for someone else instead - well, that little idea got shattered quickly too. Picked at by a bunch of people who’d rather roam through the night than speak to those already inhabiting the place; those who, upon his questioning, decided to put a claim to the only land Nerine could turn to in it’s time of need, for the other safe lands were well out of reach for any expecting mother, elderly horse, or child. Those who would chase the sick to a certain death just to save their own skin, even if that wasn’t needed at all, but the latter was something that nobody could tell their thick-skulled heads.
He can’t work with people like that.
His need to fix things, however, had been greater than his dislike of them. So when Set had appeared to back these people up, he’d offered to not make it a subkingdom, but a herd-land. They could stay if they wanted, and just avoid the sick ones. But there’s the catch. That’s not good enough for them. He’d not expected it to be, but still, the immediate accusation of not being able to reason with (as if he hadn’t just added water to the wine?)and following challenge, were still a surprise. No, a disappointment. Disagreement could have ended in voting, instead. Or more talking, in a private setting. He’d been prepared to perhaps offer Set a higher position in the ranks if that was needed just like he’d agreed on co-ruling with Cam, but it had never gotten to that. The man had behaved in such a way that Leilan currently did not think he could trust him. None of the other Nerinians had thought so, either. Sad, but true.
And then they said Nerine was violent. Pah. They could be, yes. If the situation called for it. Castile had been on edge due to Sabra’s and Klaudius’ death. Heartfire had been a bit delusional in her illness and fever. That doesn’t mean there had been no possibility to talk. But rather than talking it out with Leilan himself or even with Brennen or Breckin, Phasus and Set would base their opinions of the edge in their voices - upset people would do that, but that had not been part of their calculations. Let alone work towards a middle ground.
If everybody had been using their logical heads instead of their own personal gains and needs, then maybe.
If.
Maybe.
“If only” didn’t make things right. And right now, he could only try to fix this minor broken piece of island, and so he slowly descends into the crater and starts to fill it with the magic dragon-ice he’d gotten. Over time it might have otherwise gotten filled with snow, but this would be quicker.
He’d put his soul into this thing. Like he had put his whole self in everything else in his life. Some things worked out good, some things were a little tainted. So what? There was no strict line between good and bad, never had been, he’d crossed that shady place many times before and back - but he still recognises the difference. Knows that kicking out the sick was no solution, for example. And that he and Phasus could never agree on that, was sad, but it was so much worse now that Set had decided that her ‘solution’ was apparently, a good one.
The mystery was, why Set seemed to hate him so much that he’d immediately gone with Phasus instead of even talk to him? Or was he really so easily swayed by the curve of her hip? And yes, he’ll admit, it takes one to know one, as he’d done such things himself (leading mares on, for a night to forget the world, hoping it would make him feel better, wasn’t so different from what she was doing now to secure herself some safety). But for a magician not to see through it was at the very least suspicious.
All in all, he could only conclude that Set thought that he, or Nerine, didn’t deserve this place. That for Leilan to lead this place, was such a preposterous idea. That he was the one not being trusted, but in fact, he had so many friends and family able to vouch for him, he does think the man could have just asked around. But he hadn’t, of course. Instead, the man who came seemingly out of nowhere (and who was about as ancient as Brennen or even older, but who’s name had gone forgotten over time); and had decided that claiming this land was the right way to go. Take it from those who had actually need of it. But these people, the people he knows... they weren’t the type to accept some ancient leader they did not know. That’s why they rather stood by himself.
So that leaves the bay roan to conclude that Set doesn’t want to talk at all. That he just wants to nag him, and with him Nerine, and that he is just as power-hungry as Phasus, and that he had thought this land might be easy to take when many others where squabbling. But he’d underestimated Leilan big-time. There had already been a conclusion. Phasus had not been able to kick the two other claimers out, because Cam and him had come to an agreement.
And fairies help him, but he was determined now to keep it. For once in his life there is a chance to prove himself. Not to them - obviously they think him unworthy or something - and not even to Nerine and his family and friends - they already know him and support him because he is as loyal to them as they to him. But to himself, mostly.
And everything is hanging by a thread, these days.
Why, though.
But as he slowly fills the hole with ice, pausing every now or then to kick some rocks back in, he notices his brain is leading him in circles, and perhaps indeed, a challenge would be the only solution.
Because it seems like Set and Phasus are afraid the numbers might be against them in a vote.
Cowards.
Over the course of the last month, so much has changed in his life - so much has broken, also. Heartfire was broken - he saw it, when she joined the ever-growing group on this isle here and disintegrated this piece of ground - Brennen was broken - left a kingdom behind because he perhaps, did not want to keep it up just for others who didn’t mind if he did or not; instead choosing for a family like Leilan had already done earlier - Castile was broken - torn apart by the death of a rapist and murderer that he’d caused - Breckin was broken - torn between those wanting to choose safety of a Plague, and those wanting to stay home - himself? Scattered into a million pieces, as much as his family and friends. Can’t help them all at once if they’re so scattered.
He’d come here to secure a safe place, and in it had found his natural habitat, so to say; both literally and figuratively because, he was ice in all his being but he also just wanted to make this a new chapter of his life and yes, being around so many leaders, he knows he can do it too, and prove himself a better man. Grown, instead of lingering in childish behavior; too stubborn to hopefully let power get to his head (like it had Wolfbane and Arthas, as is his personal opinion).
A home to start anew - a nee chapter in his life. Where he could offer safety for those who needed it, and perhaps if they wanted him to, he could lead them but if not, he’d be the first to vote for someone else instead - well, that little idea got shattered quickly too. Picked at by a bunch of people who’d rather roam through the night than speak to those already inhabiting the place; those who, upon his questioning, decided to put a claim to the only land Nerine could turn to in it’s time of need, for the other safe lands were well out of reach for any expecting mother, elderly horse, or child. Those who would chase the sick to a certain death just to save their own skin, even if that wasn’t needed at all, but the latter was something that nobody could tell their thick-skulled heads.
He can’t work with people like that.
His need to fix things, however, had been greater than his dislike of them. So when Set had appeared to back these people up, he’d offered to not make it a subkingdom, but a herd-land. They could stay if they wanted, and just avoid the sick ones. But there’s the catch. That’s not good enough for them. He’d not expected it to be, but still, the immediate accusation of not being able to reason with (as if he hadn’t just added water to the wine?)and following challenge, were still a surprise. No, a disappointment. Disagreement could have ended in voting, instead. Or more talking, in a private setting. He’d been prepared to perhaps offer Set a higher position in the ranks if that was needed just like he’d agreed on co-ruling with Cam, but it had never gotten to that. The man had behaved in such a way that Leilan currently did not think he could trust him. None of the other Nerinians had thought so, either. Sad, but true.
And then they said Nerine was violent. Pah. They could be, yes. If the situation called for it. Castile had been on edge due to Sabra’s and Klaudius’ death. Heartfire had been a bit delusional in her illness and fever. That doesn’t mean there had been no possibility to talk. But rather than talking it out with Leilan himself or even with Brennen or Breckin, Phasus and Set would base their opinions of the edge in their voices - upset people would do that, but that had not been part of their calculations. Let alone work towards a middle ground.
If everybody had been using their logical heads instead of their own personal gains and needs, then maybe.
If.
Maybe.
“If only” didn’t make things right. And right now, he could only try to fix this minor broken piece of island, and so he slowly descends into the crater and starts to fill it with the magic dragon-ice he’d gotten. Over time it might have otherwise gotten filled with snow, but this would be quicker.
He’d put his soul into this thing. Like he had put his whole self in everything else in his life. Some things worked out good, some things were a little tainted. So what? There was no strict line between good and bad, never had been, he’d crossed that shady place many times before and back - but he still recognises the difference. Knows that kicking out the sick was no solution, for example. And that he and Phasus could never agree on that, was sad, but it was so much worse now that Set had decided that her ‘solution’ was apparently, a good one.
The mystery was, why Set seemed to hate him so much that he’d immediately gone with Phasus instead of even talk to him? Or was he really so easily swayed by the curve of her hip? And yes, he’ll admit, it takes one to know one, as he’d done such things himself (leading mares on, for a night to forget the world, hoping it would make him feel better, wasn’t so different from what she was doing now to secure herself some safety). But for a magician not to see through it was at the very least suspicious.
All in all, he could only conclude that Set thought that he, or Nerine, didn’t deserve this place. That for Leilan to lead this place, was such a preposterous idea. That he was the one not being trusted, but in fact, he had so many friends and family able to vouch for him, he does think the man could have just asked around. But he hadn’t, of course. Instead, the man who came seemingly out of nowhere (and who was about as ancient as Brennen or even older, but who’s name had gone forgotten over time); and had decided that claiming this land was the right way to go. Take it from those who had actually need of it. But these people, the people he knows... they weren’t the type to accept some ancient leader they did not know. That’s why they rather stood by himself.
So that leaves the bay roan to conclude that Set doesn’t want to talk at all. That he just wants to nag him, and with him Nerine, and that he is just as power-hungry as Phasus, and that he had thought this land might be easy to take when many others where squabbling. But he’d underestimated Leilan big-time. There had already been a conclusion. Phasus had not been able to kick the two other claimers out, because Cam and him had come to an agreement.
And fairies help him, but he was determined now to keep it. For once in his life there is a chance to prove himself. Not to them - obviously they think him unworthy or something - and not even to Nerine and his family and friends - they already know him and support him because he is as loyal to them as they to him. But to himself, mostly.
And everything is hanging by a thread, these days.
Why, though.
But as he slowly fills the hole with ice, pausing every now or then to kick some rocks back in, he notices his brain is leading him in circles, and perhaps indeed, a challenge would be the only solution.
Because it seems like Set and Phasus are afraid the numbers might be against them in a vote.
Cowards.
you set my soul alight
Two things I know I can make: pretty kids, and people mad.
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