Let me apologize to begin with...
I stare at her so long, I think her face might be permanently etched into my memories. As if it hadn’t been already. But it would have to be enough, to remember her lovely face. I would never forgive myself if I hurt her. She’s always been so brave, so headstrong. She would never admit that I might be dangerous. Would never ever leave if I let myself stay. And she’s already been hurt so much. Those scars attest to it, and I couldn’t bear to add to it.
But the very thought of leaving her again breaks my heart. Shatters it into a million tiny pieces. I’m not sure I’ll be ok, but at least she would be. That’s all that matters, really.
Yes, she says, claiming Taiga as her home. The one she’d been banished from all those years ago. I smile at that, but it trembles on my lips. I’m so happy she finally made it home, but it aches to know it could never be my home too. It would never survive me. Maybe it wouldn’t happen right away, but eventually one of my stars would land in just the wrong spot. And Taiga would be eaten by flames. Just like had already happened once.
Her final comment brings a lump to my throat, and my smile slips. It seemed like a goodbye, and though I know it’s for the best, I can’t help but feel deflated. My whole body slumps just as a little as I drop my gaze to the rocks at my feet. “Yeah,” I say softly, the words struggling to come out past that knot in my throat.
My eyes fill with tears then, and I quickly turn away. I didn’t want her to see me cry. It would be better this way anyway. It had to be. Otherwise, what is the point? I barely notice the rocks that have begun to rain down, and really, they only serve as a reminder why this is for the best.
The tears begin to trickle down my cheeks, and with a gasped breath, I stumbled forward into a lope. My massive frame crashes into the waves as a veritable shower of flaming stones pour down around me endlessly, answering the wild emotions bubbling in my breast. Emotions I have tried so long to suppress. I knew it would have been too much seeing her. Knew I should never have. But I couldn’t seem to help myself.
Maybe it would be better if I let the current carry me away this time. I could never hurt anyone ever again then.
Moment
accident-prone son of Offspring and Lirren