What makes our love so hard to be
Is it you, or is that just you with me
And just like that, as he throws his rapidly shifting body against the iron bars, he is suddenly thrusted back into the world just as quickly as he had been taken. Rolling on sand, gnashing his teeth, clawing at the sky. It takes him a moment to realize that the world his lit up around him. That he is no longer trapped in darkness. His body stills, somewhere between bear and equine, as he blearily looks around him.
He felt… Different.
On the inside, where his heart should be thumping madly against his chest. Instead, he feels nothing. Vapid, airy, almost empty. There’s no frantic pumping of his wild tattered heart for Carnage had finally claimed it as his own, a trophy that he had failed to collect last time. Now a glass replica stood in it’s place. Of course he did not fully understand this, despite the words “Mine.” that were snarled at him before he was thrown from the cavern and the chaos.
He doesn’t understand anything anymore.
Where ever he looks, he sees ghosts. Things and people that should have been but never were. Stuck between two realities, broken in spirit by that he could not change. His mind a shattered mess of what was real and what wasn’t. But that compared little to the carnage inside his chest.
Could he still wrap around the weight of the heartbreak of Ellyse’s betrayal? He could feel the steady simmer of anger in his breast, fueled by humiliation and wounded pride. But could this intact glass heart comprehend such things as love? There’s a continuous ache beneath the X, a non stopping heaviness that competes with the vapid emptiness. Such a strange feeling. There are still the emotional ties there, wrapped within the delicate clear surface, but hard to reach. What he had felt for Ellyse was there, trapped beneath the surface but very much damaged. One would have to chip at the surface to release it. And even then, would that not damage him? Or worse, to experience such grief again… Would it shatter the glass and he would no longer exist?
All he knows is that Ellyse has broken this family. Has betrayed him and their children. It is unforgivable. How could he have ever loved her to begin with when she had been so careless with him from the start? All the nights he had wasted away, pining for her (confusion as he remembers the loving embrace of the girl of glass and the nights spent in her delicate warmth) when she had taken her time to come back to him. Had he ever really known her to begin with? Had she ever truly given her love to him as he had her?
His muzzle wrinkles, bitter with the distaste he feels for her. For them all. Except the twins, the last link of humanity he has. The one eye looks towards the dark ashy sky and the sullen volcano. Feeling the anger within him writhing much like the magma beneath the charcoal surface. He can see Raaquel there at it’s base, pity in her eyes. And with a blink of an eye, she is gone and he is reeling with grief. Perhaps he can still feel? The emotion is washed away quickly, leaving him cold as ice at his core.
All he had ever wanted in this world was love and family. And now?
Fuck it. Fuck it all.
Ledger