Her wing dropped with a hushed whisper, once again concealing her secrets he’d nearly forced her to share as she leaned into him and tucked her head on his shoulder. He let out a slow breath, somehow relieved that she would allow him this, to hold her this way without pushing it on her. That she, in a small way, returned the embrace. It made him want to curl his neck and pull her closer, but somehow he refrained from this too. Determined not to force himself on her more. If he could help it.
Her head lifted and he could almost feel her studying his disfigurements. He stood relaxed under her scrutiny, though his chest tightened with his own past. How he’d been such a handsome colt, impossibly alluring and thick with muscle. Larger than some stallions, even, as barely a yearling. He’d been attractive. He hadn’t really cared though, as his heart and full attention had always been on Cerva. She had filled his every thought, his every breath, glued to her side until the day he left to study under the magician where he learned to fight, learned to kill. Ruthless, merciless, brutal. Striking a quick death. All in the name of protecting her. But he’d forgotten everything under the pressure of rigorous training. Taught himself to push it all out of his mind to the point that he never pulled it back in again and it was lost.
He could still do that. It still happened. It was why he hadn’t remembered Aurora at first.
He was still in training. Still forgetting things. Still forgetting to remember them.
He didn’t move, but his entire focus snapped to her as she touched him. He sensed it in her movements, rather than felt it. He couldn't feel through his bone, only the over-sensitive flesh surrounding it. She traced the armor plate to where it sunk inside him, or rather, where it pushed out from within him. His breath caught when she brushed against his skin, his body tensing up taut and rigid. Don't… he whispered, afraid of what the touch would do to him, what he’d do to her. The slightest touch could have such powerful affects on him, often with dark consequences.
But she moved to a place on his shoulder instead, to the slash of white down his shoulder that often blended with his bone plates. The only white of his tobiano pattern. She massaged gently, and slowly, gradually, the tension eased from him, almost hesitantly. She breathed into him, spoke softly into his warmth, ”Don’t leave me. Not yet.”
As you wish, he said softly into her neck, rubbing his mouth slowly along her muscle without kissing her this time. But how he ached to. They don't make you any less beautiful. Only stronger, more fierce, more defiant. It wasn't the same for his bone armor and skeleton-thin body. He was grotesque, a living nightmare. He had come to terms with it, no longer a beautiful colt but a menacing stranger. Dangerous in every glimpse of him. So easily the weeping wounds could be covered in blood that wasn't all his. It could be hers, even. If he wanted to. Tear into her before she could think to run or fight back.
But holding her was so much better.
Kissing her again would've been even better.
But he would continue to show her the good, he thought with a sigh. It was difficult with all the black inside him. Forceful and controlling, so selfish. Taking what he wanted, when he wanted it came as naturally to him as breathing. He wasn't sure how much longer he could hold his breath for her. Maybe he should go. Especially if he kept thinking about touching her more, kissing her more. It had never been an issue when he'd had Cerva, he'd never wanted anyone else. But with her gone, possibly dead because of him, he was set loose like a rabid beast. He took from whoever he wanted. An endless hunt to find what he longed for, to find what he was missing, whatever Cerva had that kept him with her and her alone.
Maybe I should go, he finally said, regretful. He didn't really want to. I live in Ischia, he brushed quietly into her skin again, barely restraining from kissing it into her. Always his home, and never his name. So he could be found, but not summoned. Not at first.
Its alright, you'll be fine baby, I'm in control
Take the pain, Take the pleasure. I'm the master of both
