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  • Beqanna

    COTY

    Assailant -- Year 226

    QOTY

    "But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura


    Non-fiction short story, for your critiquing pleasure
    #2
    Uhh I'm on my phone and hate typing on my phone so briefly
    - props to you for writing about such a difficult topic, and for doing so in an honest way, there's some really pretty lines in there as well
    My only critique is the occurance of events wasn't entirely clear to me as a reader (who is on her phone at bedtime, SO reader error is probable), and I may have mixed the men up (maybe give them initials?)
    But really, thanks for sharing, it sucked me in <3
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    Messages In This Thread
    RE: Non-fiction short story, for your critiquing pleasure - by Cassi - 03-12-2017, 09:57 PM



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