my dear sweet nothing, let's start anew; ashley

[leliana]

I waited for something and something died
so I waited for nothing and nothing arrived

Night had quickly become her preferred time to travel.

She waited until Exist was asleep, until she could feel the steady thrum of pulse beneath her sweet sister’s neck, until her breaths became steady and deep, until dreams claimed her mind. She waited until slumber clung to her curves to rise, gentle, quiet, her hollow eyes turning to the tides on the shore and the beyond. Tonight, she walked to where the water lapped gently upon the beaches, the roar in the distance enough to distract her mind—turn her from her inner turmoil. Weeks had passed without setting sight upon Dovev, weeks had passed since it had all crumbled apart, everything lay to waste before that small sightless child.

For a second, she considered lifting her wings, as she had so many months ago, and carrying herself to the shores she knew rested beyond where sea met sky. She considered finding her way to that damp cave where things had felt so perfect, so right, where he had held her quietly in the middle of the night, where she had soothed yet another unexplained wound from his haunches, staunched the blood that seemed to never end. Her head lifted as she closed her eyes, the ocean breeze gently brushing the crimson of her mane back, and for a moment—but a moment—she was happy, the memory curving her lips just barely.

But it withered in her chest as quickly as it had grown, and she turned from the water, her wings lifting her in the air, but not to Ischia. Instead, she flew to the meadow, touching down lightly on the outskirts of it, where it almost bled into the beginning of Tephra. The crowds were thinner at night, sparse, and out here there was no one. She sighed gently, grateful for the seclusion, as her wings shifted from the red dragon wings to something kinder, feathers replaced with white petals, hints of green peaking through.

She smiled at the sight of the flowers and then continued walking, her red nose brushing over the edges of the grass where it grew wild and thick, rising up to hug against her chest in some strange form of comfort.

it's our dearest ally, it's our closest friend
it's our darkest blackout, it's our final end