02-11-2017, 10:26 PM
She settled into him and his breath hitched in his throat, his heart swelling for her. He brushed his lips along her cheek as her head rested against him. Perfect. She was perfect.
It isn't the same. Mothers are supposed to stay.
His heart broke, agreeing silently. He wished Cerva would have stayed too. Would have come home to them. But he couldn't bear the thought of her thinking so poorly of her mother. I don't think she could, Atrani. I saw how she loved you. She never would have stayed away from you. It surprised him that he believed it. If Cerva had been anything, it was endlessly loving. Maybe not towards him in the end but, there was a time when he'd been her everything. He swallowed the pain of that, ducking his head to kiss her, and whispered, I can't stay away either.
He mentioned the nursing mother that would feed her. Who, father? Is it the woman you reeked of in the meadow? He tensed at the mention of Leliana, at the subtly darker tone in her little voice, but let it fall away as he kissed her cheek, then her jaw. No, love. A mother here with us. Only until you can eat on your own. He bathed her in adoration, fully intending to take advantage of this time with her while she allowed him to. He needed her to be happy.
I want to be, but then all of this would end. She said quietly, pulling away from him at last. The loss of her tugged at him, as though his heart pulled out from his chest. Her words hurt him too. No, Atrani, he breathed, barely keeping himself from pulling her back in as he dearly wished to. But her rejection always hurt the worst, and he couldn't take it tonight, so he let her be. You and I will never end. Never.
He shifted and settled against her again, but refrained from pulling her into him. Instead, he tucked her close then reluctantly released her.
I love you Atrani, he whispered.
