shooting arrows without a bow; any

[leliana]

I know what it is but I'm hoping that all is well
no harvest of green but it's still my heart to sell

 

The pain was extraordinary.

If it was not happening to her, she may have been in awe of it—may have marveled at the shards of glass that buried in her chest, the way her lungs filled with water, the way her vision grew hazy. After several minutes (hours?) resting upon the trunk of the tree, she had straightened, the tears finally dried, and turned her head toward the path that Dovev had taken, following the gold and white stallion toward…

something.

And she? She was alone.

He was not coming back.

The next breath had been excruciating, but she had taken it, filling her lungs with air that did not seem to want her either, the motion desperate and forced. She drew her wings back toward her side but kept them copper, the hard edges of them and the weight grounding. When she pushed from the tree, when she began to move from the area, she swayed with the effort, her flesh still slick with sweat, but she stood upright. She would not fall. She would not give into this. She would not let herself falter.

She was not sure how long she walked then, but she knew that her feet dragged, her hooves catching on the low slung roots and the mulch that gathered. Her crimson nose dropped to the ground, skimming over the surface. She had been a fool. A fool to think he had wanted her for more than a night; a fool to think she was anything but a placeholder. Her heart had screamed at her in warning—had told her something was amiss and she had ignored it. She had dismissed her better judgment, told herself beautiful lies.

And look where it had gotten her.

When she reached a small clearing, she finally came to a stop, forcing herself to lift her head and survey the area with exhausted amber eyes, the tears long dried, the sweat from the exertion of healing having left marks of salt white on her neck. She could still smell the faint scent of metallic blood on her coat from where she had laid in it and it made her stomach turn, remembering how near death he had been.

Leliana shook her head then, desperate to rid herself of thoughts of him.

Shaken, lost, she glanced upward. She could not tell whether she was grateful or sad that she was alone.

I put everything I had into something that didn't grow
like going on a wild hunt, shooting arrows without a bow