12-29-2019, 05:18 PM
sometimes I'm terrified of my heart;
of its constant hunger for whatever it is it wants —
She doesn’t really understand love, or romance – she doesn’t even understand the full weight of her own name, desire. With the exception of her twin brother she has never felt a particularly strong connection to anyone; not even with their mother.
And until this moment, she has never noticed or cared.
Until she felt the way Thomas was watching her. Until she let herself reach inside of him and find what he wanted, and she only saw herself. But was that real? She didn’t think it could be. He wanted her because she was in front of him, shimmering like a night sky that longed to be trapped beneath his glass, but what about when she was gone? Beautiful things tended to attract other beautiful things, and she is sure that the next time she finds him there will be someone else that he holds in his heart and his mind.
She hadn’t realized until now how guarded she was. He thought she was beautiful, and she thinks she might be able to feel the way his pulse thrums in his veins, and she realizes that if she wanted she could try and spin this into a romance – just to see what it’s like. But her mother had said that love was dangerous, and she still wasn’t entirely sure what that means – only that she took it to mean she should never feel it.
But she could still find out what it’s like, she thinks; it just won’t be real.
And so she straightens herself and says with a light, teasing laugh, “I would never break you, Thomas.” She steps towards him again, her white lips touching his smooth neck, following the arch of it until she comes to rest on his chest, where his heart pulses beneath the glass and she breathes sweetly, “Not on purpose, at least.”
And until this moment, she has never noticed or cared.
Until she felt the way Thomas was watching her. Until she let herself reach inside of him and find what he wanted, and she only saw herself. But was that real? She didn’t think it could be. He wanted her because she was in front of him, shimmering like a night sky that longed to be trapped beneath his glass, but what about when she was gone? Beautiful things tended to attract other beautiful things, and she is sure that the next time she finds him there will be someone else that he holds in his heart and his mind.
She hadn’t realized until now how guarded she was. He thought she was beautiful, and she thinks she might be able to feel the way his pulse thrums in his veins, and she realizes that if she wanted she could try and spin this into a romance – just to see what it’s like. But her mother had said that love was dangerous, and she still wasn’t entirely sure what that means – only that she took it to mean she should never feel it.
But she could still find out what it’s like, she thinks; it just won’t be real.
And so she straightens herself and says with a light, teasing laugh, “I would never break you, Thomas.” She steps towards him again, her white lips touching his smooth neck, following the arch of it until she comes to rest on his chest, where his heart pulses beneath the glass and she breathes sweetly, “Not on purpose, at least.”
Desire