this reckless wandering love was never ours; risk

[sochi]

sochi

Sochi has never been one to fully understand her own feelings.

They are tangled things, messy, and for someone who infinitely prefers the cleanliness of a black and white living, she instead merely ignores them. She lets herself breathe in the cold air of autumn and any of the things that may form in the back of her mind—suspicion, distrust, confusion—simply melt away. Perhaps she feels a little more rash, perhaps a little reckless, but these are at least things she can control.

So she gladly slips away from Loess, pointing instead toward the immediate south. She shifts, finding that her feline body comes quickly and easily, and when she opens her eyes, the world comes into stark relief. The night settles heavily around her as she lunges forward, silent as her paws collide with the hardened ground of Loess. Her breath comes steadily as she focuses on the path before her, as the kingdom that she has known so well begins to fade and the forest that sits on its border creeps up around her.

The ground grows softer, the trees thicker, and she nearly shivers in delight as she catches the scent of the deer that run before her. Then, the emotions that she felt tickling at the back of her throat fade completely and she is left with nothing but instinct. Her body moves like a missile through a familiar pattern as she weaves through the trees, coming up downwind. Her nose twitches and her tail flicks.

Eventually, she lunges with snapping jaws.

When the fog of her mind clears, she realizes that she has the deer’s throat in her jaws and she bites down all the harder, shaking until she feels something like satisfaction settle into her belly. She drops the prey to the forest floor. The cream of her face is stained crimson, she knows, and it will be darker by the time that the night is done. Trembling slightly—with energy unspent, with anger, with hunger—she glances down and then her eyes flash up as she hears the sound of something moving in the darkness.

well, I can try to get you closer but I know you’d break your neck just to see the stars
and if we don’t dare to hold it then this reckless wandering love was never ours