How long has she been here? “Only a season, this time. Hardly anytime at all.” A small pause, but she quickly gives up on the math trying to figure out, in a broader sense, how long she has been here total. “Too many years to count altogether.” She remembers she used to pay attention to her age, but dying had messed with her timeline a little. She knows she’s been alive for a very long time but as her mind fades she has lost the ability to comprehend just how long it has been.
Surely, she has no idea it has been over a century since she was a small black filly growing up in the Gates. Since she was a general and then a queen.
Another deep breath and a small sigh to follow as she looks at Kensley, responding to his other questions. Her gaze is soft as she tries to put words to her thoughts, speaking with complete honesty. “But… I think I’ll stay. I don’t really have anywhere else to go. I’ve tried living away from this place, but if I am a ghost now than outside of this continent I am nothing. A shadow.” Given the choice between one or another, she keeps choosing the first.
She continues, and finds it’s not hard for her to be hopeful. Despite all of her constant worrying, despite the ever-present fears, she’s survived this long on hope for peace in her life. What’s a little while longer? “I do think it will get better. I… I’ll never fully detach myself from the life I lived here once but if I can find new roots here I might be able to grow again. A new purpose, even if it’s just something small.”
Her voice quiets and her gaze shifts away from him when she continues, unable to speak the truth while looking at him. She does not wish to see if he thinks her foolish. “I’m so afraid that there is no future here for me, that I will wither away into a shadow once more and be lost and forgotten... But still, I hope there is a future for me.”
And here she looks back to him, her smile brightening a touch. “And for you, too Kensley. I don’t think you are destined to be lost either.” If he's in need of some hope, there's enough in this small white mare for them both.
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