She should look over her shoulder, she knows. Despite how still she is, there is nothing she wants more than to send her blue eyes searching for him.
But then her heart flutters like butterfly wings on a wayward breeze and Lilliana stops herself. Despite the ache that builds, that beautiful warmth that she has begun to associate with him, she can't bring herself to look at Wolfbane. In the darkness around them, a few silvery rays of moonlight hang down from where the branches are exposed above. There isn't much but enough to see by and for a shapeshifter like Bane who has the ability for any sense or any form under the sun, it would be enough. It would be enough for him to see those cracks that Lilli desperately tries to hide.
It would be enough for him to see that she has already let him in, that he has slipped through the last of Lilliana's barriers as easily as he might take another shape.
If she doesn't look at him, there is a moment that she still thinks that everything she once thought for her own future would be enough. There is a reason that she has never known the touch of a lover, that there are no foals at her side. It has never bothered her before - it was something she had resigned herself to long before she met him. It was something that she had imagined for herself even in Taiga - she could put her love there and watch the redwoods prosper. For anything else, there had been Elaina. For whatever want of family that the northern redwoods would have failed to provide, Elaina had been and would always be her family. It would have been enough.
But then Bane had disappeared over the winter and Lilliana found herself longing for a glance of gold, just one look of the familiar gilt-and-blue stallion beneath trees. Just one, she had told herself, and it would be enough.
So Lilliana had thrown herself headlong into everything, anything to ignore the question that had started to form in the back of her mind: Is this it? Is there all there is? Her healing, recruiting, even throwing her efforts in with diplomacy, had been an attempt to fill the days with a solid understanding that yes, this was enough. This would have to be enough. And for Lilliana who had seen both her parents sacrifice their hearts for the good of others, for Paraiso, she had thought it was best that she kept hers to herself. The plan had sounded so easy, so simple.
Until it wasn't.
Until she was here, with her pulse rising to a crescendo and her heartbeats coming faster with each step closer he came.
His ability to disappear should unnerve her. Each time he slinks in and out of the shadows, an ear flicks or her head tilts slightly as she follows the sound. It will be there for a moment in her peripheral vision - a moon-shaded flash of gold, jagged edge of blue - and then gone before her gaze can locate him. A crimson ear swivels and she catches the depth of his baritones, can feel the way it reverberates through her. Lilli does turn her head then, searching the shadows in hopes of finding him. "A conquest?" she asks lightly, "Is that what this is?"
What else could this be?
But then he says her name with something that sounds like agony and now she does feel that pain wrap around her rapidly-beating heart. She would never want to inspire suffering in anyone, least of all Wolfbane. Never Bane.
Lilliana softens and when he steps from the shadows, he is bathed in moonshine. The fangs, those marvelous wings she has always admired are gone. Her blue eyes rise to meet his and she knows that a moment she has both needed and dreaded has arrived, that there is no going back from this now. Lilli tries to find some shred of fear, some part of her that balks in terror or even wants to run from the emotions she has always hidden. She searches for something in her that tries to tell her to be afraid but Lilli can't even summon that. She searches the shadows of his green eyes, studies silver-black of his mask before giving him his answer, "No."
A quiet exhale and then she considers something, not feeling the bite of coming winter in the air as it dances around them, "Are you scared of me?"
@[Wolfbane] my turn to not sleep..
But then her heart flutters like butterfly wings on a wayward breeze and Lilliana stops herself. Despite the ache that builds, that beautiful warmth that she has begun to associate with him, she can't bring herself to look at Wolfbane. In the darkness around them, a few silvery rays of moonlight hang down from where the branches are exposed above. There isn't much but enough to see by and for a shapeshifter like Bane who has the ability for any sense or any form under the sun, it would be enough. It would be enough for him to see those cracks that Lilli desperately tries to hide.
It would be enough for him to see that she has already let him in, that he has slipped through the last of Lilliana's barriers as easily as he might take another shape.
If she doesn't look at him, there is a moment that she still thinks that everything she once thought for her own future would be enough. There is a reason that she has never known the touch of a lover, that there are no foals at her side. It has never bothered her before - it was something she had resigned herself to long before she met him. It was something that she had imagined for herself even in Taiga - she could put her love there and watch the redwoods prosper. For anything else, there had been Elaina. For whatever want of family that the northern redwoods would have failed to provide, Elaina had been and would always be her family. It would have been enough.
But then Bane had disappeared over the winter and Lilliana found herself longing for a glance of gold, just one look of the familiar gilt-and-blue stallion beneath trees. Just one, she had told herself, and it would be enough.
So Lilliana had thrown herself headlong into everything, anything to ignore the question that had started to form in the back of her mind: Is this it? Is there all there is? Her healing, recruiting, even throwing her efforts in with diplomacy, had been an attempt to fill the days with a solid understanding that yes, this was enough. This would have to be enough. And for Lilliana who had seen both her parents sacrifice their hearts for the good of others, for Paraiso, she had thought it was best that she kept hers to herself. The plan had sounded so easy, so simple.
Until it wasn't.
Until she was here, with her pulse rising to a crescendo and her heartbeats coming faster with each step closer he came.
His ability to disappear should unnerve her. Each time he slinks in and out of the shadows, an ear flicks or her head tilts slightly as she follows the sound. It will be there for a moment in her peripheral vision - a moon-shaded flash of gold, jagged edge of blue - and then gone before her gaze can locate him. A crimson ear swivels and she catches the depth of his baritones, can feel the way it reverberates through her. Lilli does turn her head then, searching the shadows in hopes of finding him. "A conquest?" she asks lightly, "Is that what this is?"
What else could this be?
But then he says her name with something that sounds like agony and now she does feel that pain wrap around her rapidly-beating heart. She would never want to inspire suffering in anyone, least of all Wolfbane. Never Bane.
Lilliana softens and when he steps from the shadows, he is bathed in moonshine. The fangs, those marvelous wings she has always admired are gone. Her blue eyes rise to meet his and she knows that a moment she has both needed and dreaded has arrived, that there is no going back from this now. Lilli tries to find some shred of fear, some part of her that balks in terror or even wants to run from the emotions she has always hidden. She searches for something in her that tries to tell her to be afraid but Lilli can't even summon that. She searches the shadows of his green eyes, studies silver-black of his mask before giving him his answer, "No."
A quiet exhale and then she considers something, not feeling the bite of coming winter in the air as it dances around them, "Are you scared of me?"
@[Wolfbane] my turn to not sleep..
but it's all in the past, love
it's all gone with the wind