Lost in the deep end // star pony

[lilliana]

She's tired.

She wears her fatigue like a crown of uncertainty and it causes a line in her brow. The day is ending in all those deep, golden rays that gilt the gold of the field and illuminate the places (the grass, the changing leaves) where fall intends to creep. She can feel the bite of it on the back of her neck, in the places where the breeze renders it bare. These are the dying days of summer and Lilliana can already feel herself mourning its warmth.

Her exhaustion has settled in between her slender shoulders, in the practiced way she carries herself - like somewhere between mind and leg, she might stumble. She has been in this field with the first rays of dawn and she slips through the edges of the trees in the fading light. It will be dark by the time she reaches Taiga and longer past the starlings' cry. Lilli is proving to be her mother's daughter, throwing herself whole-heartedly into (her third? fourth? fifth day?) recruiting to avoid the weight of the thoughts that bear down on her mind. 

There had been a mare today and her weanling daughter that Lilliana had smiled at, encouraging them to come visit Taiga in their travels. There had been another young stallion that she had bantered with, telling him about the potential for ranks in the Defenders and Diplomats if that was something he wished. Lilliana laughs and smiles and beams until she has used the last of her enigmatic resources. She practices holding that smile, warming those blue eyes in a way that can still promise everything and give nothing away. 

It's not something that comes easily - it goes against her nature. 
It exhausts her as much as the length of the day does.

The shadows are casting now and Lilliana wishes she had left earlier. She should have left earlier, she reprimands. But the damage is done and the day is almost gone. The last of the light goes in a flourish of indigo and velvet, leaving only the stars to keep Lilli company. Not that she minds. They have been her secretkeepers before and they keep her company now, twinkling down in silver silence. 

She hears him before she sees him. Normally she would be weary of the dark, of the empty spaces that wrap around her but tonight she only longs for her part of the woods and the familiar ferns that she beds beneath. The thought that she should be afraid is slipped to the back of her mind while her desire to return to Taiga remains at the front. He is another shadowed shape in the dark and Lilli slows, stopping a few yards away. He melts in with the blues of the night and she finds herself searching for him, trying to make him out against the whispers of darkness.

"Have the stars told you any secrets tonight?" Even as tired as she is, the warmth still illuminates her voice. Even as tired as she is, some things fail to change. 

@[Tyr]