Her question catches him off guard.
He has never stopped to consider that someone may actually want to spend time with him. It has never crossed his mind that it might actually be enjoyable to be in his presence. And why would he ever think that it would be? Look at the way he has botched this entire interaction. He has no social graces to speak of and no way to soften himself for a conversation. He has no way to be gentle or kind.
So the surprise shows visibly on his face when she asks her dual questions. His light grey eyes widen just slightly and it takes him a second to compose himself again, to pull himself back together again.
“Oh, uh,” his breath, gravely and stormy, catches on his lips and he nearly stutters as he tries to force his tongue to work. “I mean, yes.” He wishes that he could tell her more about what an unsuitable friend that he is and how ill-fitted he is for company. How he has never had a friend outside of his twin sister and how he has miserably messed that up—let her down in all of the worst ways. How no one should ever want to be friends with someone like him and how he can’t imagine why anyone would want to.
But the words don’t come and he’s left with the silence and their breathing.
“I mean, if you want to. I don’t know why you’d want to.”
Another shake of his antlered head and a flash of confusion as he looks up to study her.
“You shouldn’t want to, but you could find me.”
He swallows hard and shrugs.
“If you wanted to.”
And then, finally, thankfully, he is quiet again.
BRIGADE
when I was a man I thought it ended when I knew love's perfect ache
but my peace has always depended on all the ashes in my wake