I can get there on my own. you can leave me here alone.
He doesn’t mean to, but he sighs.
It leaves him before he can stop it.
It leaves him before he’s even fully registered what she’s said.
You, she says.
And he exhales long and slow and briefly closes his eyes in surrender. He has done all he could do to protect her heart. Does that mean he’s no longer liable? He knows that, if worse comes to worst, he’ll still take the fall. The blame will still settle square on his incapable shoulders and he’ll have to carry it with him for the rest of his life. It will always be his fault. He should have done something more. Should have taken his patient smile, turned and left her there in the shadows. He should not have murmured hot and thick into the tangles of her mane, lost himself in the heat and the vibrance of her.
Maybe he deserves to take the blame.
He forces open his eyes, squinting into the ribbons of darkness unfurling before them. He has half a mind to shift the conversation back to their daughter. He wants to suggest that they split up, that they’ll cover more ground that way. Not because he wishes to be away from her but because the expectations are tightening a noose around his neck. Because he should say something but everything there is to say turns to dust in his mouth.
“Adna,” he says in that same quiet, patient way. “It’s your business what you do with your heart.” He drags in a shuddering breath and shakes his head. “I just need you to know that I will never be able to love you the way you deserve to be loved and it’s not your fault.”
BETHLEHEM
I'm just tryin' to do what's right. oh, a man ain't a man unless he's fought the fight.
