and he took me to the river where he slowly let me drown
Despoina does not know what it is like to have loving parents.
Even after she had been found and then brought home, tucked into the rest of the pack, she knows that Wonder and Nightlock are not her true parents. She understands it like a thorn under her a skin. A reality that she can never quite shake—no matter how much she wants to take their love and make it her own. And how could she? They have never once made her feel other, made her feel different, but she knows that she is. She is not just a horse. Not just a wolf like the rest of them although she wishes she could be.
Because when she shifts, her body becomes right, but in a way that terrifies her.
Her teeth sharpen, her fur grows dark and thick, her eyes begin to take on that red glow.
And worse—so much worse—is the hunger that comes unbidden: eternal.
So today is not any different. She slips from their home, as she is want to do, and she makes her way to the forest. She is locked inside of her hellhound form as she moves, even though she knows just how much it so clearly defines her differences. She cannot help the feeling of right when she slips it on. She cannot help the way her body seemingly sings with pleasure as on as paws hit the forest floor.
The pleasure is not enough to completely stave off the sorrow that is such a common companion, but it dulls the pain of it as she skirts around the crowds, wandering deeper and deeper through the trees.
It is only when she sees him that she stops.
She pauses, one leg lifted, her glowing eyes narrowing in him. She feels something like a tendril of fear wrap around her heart—although it is not such an unfamiliar sensation that it feels alien—and she takes a step back, a branch cracking loudly beneath her paw and her head shooting up in surprise.