Flying. She wonders if that helps, if it brings a more complete quiet to escape without even your footfalls there to give rhythm to your thoughts. She has always longed for wings. They have always teased a seemingly unattainable freedom, and are now too a persistent reminder of Brigade. If she wore them herself she already knows how they would look, he has painted his feathers to be like her body though they aren't now. Maybe only when she agitates him... though agitate seems an insufficient descriptor for how Brigade must have felt those times he'd turned his wings into a reflection of her.
When he speaks to her his voice provides little inflection. Alternatively, Kensa's words pour out too quick, jerk back, start again. Compared to what he'd said and the way he’d said it her cascade of speech sounds overwhelming and she is sorry for it but even then she cannot stop. Until he stops her by answering back so suddenly that Kensa almost steps back, a hoof shifting against the flinty ground. A flush travels down her neck, blood rising to the surface with a sensation of prickling warmth. Its difficult to tell if he is pleased to hear it or if he wants to tear her to pieces for saying it. There's a anxious twinge between her shoulders.
“Yes.” Of course I did, she could continue, and she wonders if she should leave. Didn’t she just tell herself not to trap him? To not even allow the appearance of guile. Kensa is so tired of herself.
She tries to deaden her feelings for him and find some way to just talk to him without being a pitfall. To just say things and not bleed herself.
“I wanted to see you, but I did not know what you would want. I meant to let you decide.” This is clean, an honesty she prefers, without carefully selected margins to keep out pesky complications. Now neither of them have decided, they are just here.
“I don’t say things I don’t mean.”
This last is soft and she regrets it a little the moment she says it. Kensa doesn’t sound petulant, but for the first time she is actively trying not to seduce Brigade and so the comment seems unnecessary.
—
@[brigade]
